Fox Lupine Report post Posted December 3, 2005 Chapter 1- The curse is lifted Kendai closed here eyes and smiled, the fire only an inch fro licking her boots. She didn’t care. As active an Orchan as she was, none could deny the pleasure of these lazy summer days on Isla Prima. She wondered briefly WHY the fire was lit. She felt she would melt as it was. She reached into her bag and took out an apple, tossing it over her shoulder to the now present Shea. An elven friend of her’s. Well, she said friend. In actual fact Kendai had tripped over a tree root and bumped into the bear Shea had angered. With all the praise, however, she felt going with the flow wasn’t a bad idea “Guess what?†Shea said, shrilly “I summoned a Gargoyle!†Kendai grinned widely. Shea had been working on that for almost a week “Congratulations†The elf sat beside her friend and lay flat on her back, taking in the beautiful sky. Kendai knew, yet she marvelled at THIS land less and less since finding Irillion. “Seen Sryen today?†Shea asked Kendai. Kendai stopped smiling “No†she replied. If it was true that your ears turned red when one was speaking of you, Sryen ears must have fallen off. There was no love lost between them “I’m glad. Today’s a nice day and I don’t particularly want-“ She trailed off as a piercing scream filled the air. They both scrambled to their feet and gazed into the direction of its source. There were houses and trees blocking their view. It was a long way off Kendai sat back down “Probably someone was attacked by a beaver again†she chuckled Shea wasn’t convinced “I’m gonna go check it out†Kendai sighed as her footsteps trailed off. That girl cared TOO much sometimes Lemonstar had never run this fast in his life. He had too, to keep up with Faye. She was probably already at the ‘beam’. It was still called that despite the fact no one had managed to teleport for months He stopped to breathe for a moment, and turned the 180 degrees to see if Ashen had caught up. He doubted it…that was some weight he was carrying. Nevertheless, he had to catch up. Lemon turned and continued jogging Marthelomew Mind sat at the fire, and was putting the finishing touches on a steel shield when everyone stopped talking. SHE was here. “We need a master†Faye was shrieking, in barely recognisable words No one replied. They were used to the strange summonners fits “SOMEONE CALL A MASTER OR I’LL SUMMON FORTH SOMETHING TO-“ “They’re off arranging something†Mr Mind spoke up. He couldn’t be bothered to fight whatever her anger conjured up “In Nordcarn. BUT, Lord Vermors In the tavern†Faye nodded and took off “You’re welcome†the elderly trader muttered. No sooner had she gone than an elf clad in blue arrived. He recognised the fellow, though knew not his name. He stopped and panted, as though he had run for hours “Faye…Did….Faye….Here….?†he attempted to ask, the words turning to jelly in his mouth “She’s going to see Lord-“ he paused “What the-“ Behind the Elf a tall blonde fellow walked slowly towards them. But it wasn’t his hair that amazed everyone on the island. It was the body slung over his shoulder. That did not happen….. As soon as the Lord Vermor had heard he had put out a message over the lands. Everyone was to return to the safety of Isla Prima IMMEDIATELY. It had drained him to do so, however. The need was dire As he left the tavern he saw a sea of faces crowded around the beam. He fought his way to the front and knelt beside the three fallen figures. Fox Lupine of –IC-, and the brothers Jumigno and Daer, newcomers to the lands. He sighed and stood up to address the crowd “Due to these occurrences†he bellowed “Boats to other towns and lands are now closed off! We want everyone to be accounted for here!†Angry moans and complaints broke the silence there had been. But he wasn’t about to argue. He turned and strode back to the Tavern. “Is this the way a master should behave?†the storyteller asked Lord Vermor as he closed the door “You†Vermor sighed “To what do I owe this intrusion. I was assured this room as empty†Brom grinned toothily “You Young’uns†Don’t think the only way through a lock is a key†Vermor sat down and poured himself a glass of wine “So to what do I owe this visit. You know something?†Brom sat down beside him and took the glass Vermor had already poured “Everyone around knows of the Curse of Morto’s……You know, I know. Those crowds out there know†“Yes†“Well, it seems the curse has finally lifted. What we all wanted, we have been given†“That’s impossible†Vermor yawned “The gods don’t affect us anymore. They outlived their-“ “Not impossible†Brom whispered “Those lads should have faded into light, and awoken in the underworld. Are those lifeless bodies not proof enough of what I speak?†“No†the lord answered icily “It’s not. If you’ll excuse me, I’m getting another room†“Inform the people†Brom told the Lord as he left “Warn them….Morto’s does not have mercy such as this for no reason†“You want me to inform a crowd of which are mostly atheists, to watch over their shoulder for the evil god Morto’s?†Vermor asked angrily Brom pushed past Vermor and left without a word ---------------------- Enjoy. Please reveiw. If i didn;t include you in this chapter you'll be in the next...and by the way, please post character apps in thread in general chat already running or forum pm me thanks Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LemonStar Report post Posted December 3, 2005 WOW! I knew you where a good writer and all but. WOW! That is one heck of an opening story... Would we all even fit on IP!!LOL... do more soon I wanna know what happens. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cho-yun Report post Posted December 3, 2005 i found a mistake when i just look at the 3 words lol Very nice opening. can't wait for the rest Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Acelon Report post Posted December 3, 2005 I feel like such a pawn WHen did I sign up to be in the story? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Lupine Report post Posted December 3, 2005 lol, i hope u don't take offense. i needed...NEEDED a high figure in the lands and the characters important, though if you'd rather i rename thats fine Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Acelon Report post Posted December 3, 2005 Lol no its fine Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Lupine Report post Posted December 3, 2005 I want it offically known that LV rocks Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kendai Report post Posted December 4, 2005 Squeeness! **is excited to see herself in it** Looks like an exciting tale, can't wait to see what happens! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sparhawk Report post Posted December 4, 2005 Sparhawk reads the name kendai and immediatly turns off his intenet. Your ISP cannot be resolved, plug the intenet back in. Lol no joking i really liked the story.( And you kendai being in it made it better ) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest sryen Report post Posted December 4, 2005 Wow, this is really good. I like being in a story, no matter how small my role may be. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dark_Nightmare Report post Posted December 4, 2005 (edited) First, I'd "copy" it, paste it on a Word Processor, and Spellcheck it. Anyways, good so far, but where'd the shady, mysterious blue-haired-boy-wonder go? Note that if I die, I will get you, I swear! I will write some too, if you'll let me. Just PM me on forums of what you want. Edited December 4, 2005 by Dark_Nightmare Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Lupine Report post Posted December 4, 2005 First, I'd "copy" it, paste it on a Word Processor, and Spellcheck it. Anyways, good so far, but where'd the shady, mysterious blue-haired-boy-wonder go? I wrote it on work...with spellcheck. Unforunately the spaces i elft at start of paragraph got erased Note that if I die, I will get you, I swear! I will write some too, if you'll let me. Just PM me on forums of what you want. You're the third person to offer i'll keep it in mind. Thanks. And how can i Kill you off? I think its actually impossibble given the lal powerful profile you submitted Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Acelon Report post Posted December 4, 2005 Ooo I know, let me kill him Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roja Report post Posted December 4, 2005 It's pretty good! But it is a bit hard to follow/read at some points. I think you just need to restructure your paragraphs to make it easier to read. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dark_Nightmare Report post Posted December 4, 2005 LV, you kill me, I send a Grue to kill you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sora_barzahd Report post Posted December 4, 2005 Have him die by a humkeys hand > Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Lupine Report post Posted December 4, 2005 It's pretty good! But it is a bit hard to follow/read at some points. I think you just need to restructure your paragraphs to make it easier to read. I wrote it in word and the tab spacing before each pragraph somehow vanished when i c and p'd it. Going to work on part 2 later tonight Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shouja Report post Posted December 5, 2005 Tab spacing usually doesn't work in Web publishing. You should probably use line spacing instead, to separate out your paragraphs and dialogue. Since it's Web publishing, people won't mind if there's a lot of white space, as long as it improves readability. ~Shouja~ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brom Report post Posted December 5, 2005 (edited) Ha Ha! I never thought Brom would be telling Lord Vermor what to do. But I suppose that works. Good work, though I am not sure how this will finish, will the curse truly be lifted? Will the curse only have stalled? Can the lifeless bodies finally die and come back? Will Brom's hair ever turn blue? Does Lord Vermor brush his teeth? These are all great questions that could be answered later...Ok most of them. I think this may be a good first chapter to a story you will write. If it is alright with you I will take it, proofread, edit, rearrange and submit it to the EL Times. yes/no? Edited December 5, 2005 by Brom Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dark_Nightmare Report post Posted December 6, 2005 *Pinches Brom* The blue hair is my trademark! I'm going to be the only human with blue hair And if Ent and/or Roja dissaproves, I'll just be a Draegoni -_- Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sora_barzahd Report post Posted December 8, 2005 It's easy to get blue hair on the game...Just "accedintly" tamper with your charactor files and give your human blue hair Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Derin Report post Posted December 8, 2005 (edited) This is starting to look like a RPish thread. In Stories and I deas you comment the story, if you want interaction we should move it to the RolePlaying Section. But that would be up to the writer, FoxLupine. Edited December 8, 2005 by Derin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Lupine Report post Posted December 9, 2005 I apoligse, and yes I would be honored to see this on EL.NET. It is a chapter based thing though, and more will come. I think i'll finnaly finish chapter 2 after work. Just have had a lot of RL stuff going on.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites