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This is my last report. Ace Jackson is bidding you all a fond farewell. The stories have come to an end. I thank all my readers.

 

Due to popular demand, my contract has been extend. Of course the publisher declined to increase my pay, but for the good of the community, I will endeavor to give you the best news stories money can buy!

 

Ace Jackson~ OUT!

Edited by RipTide

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Ace Jackson returns report!!

 The great yellow cloak rebellion

Strange magical occurrences have been happening all over our world. People, animals and monsters alike would freeze in place, unable to move. A group concerned citizens, lead by the master mage Wizzy, all wearing a yellow cloak gathered before teh god today. They were seeking a rebirth of Lands Eternal. Teh sleeping god seemingly ignored them for a period of time. Some began chanting restart, restart, restart. " Wizzy: We need to get #45daybug and #yellowcape trending." Threats were sent, Wizzy: [PM to radu: We may have to soon escalate and resort to violence]. HiT: maybe if we all #suicide it will make radu do something :P HiT has become better at dying. Slowly teh god awoke, " radu: ....." The gathered yellow cloaks erupted, " Biker_Boy: Hi, Biker_Boy: RESTART, Xyleon: oi boss, Wizzy: The yellow capes protest, Shantak: Restart!" A grumble deep within Eternal Lands could be heard all over. Then a loud voice sounded. "#Message from radu: ok, ok, server restart in a few minutes." Cheers came from the crowd. Xyleon was so overcome with joy he died on the spot. Then teh god spoke, "radu: those are orange, not yellow, btw." Aislinn: "closest we've got" Shantak: "wizzy's colorblind." The finger pointing began, Shantak: "he organized it." Teh god spoke again, "#Message from radu: kk, come back in half a minute or so, #Message from God: Server going down..." Lands Eternal was rebirthed. Hawks and falcons flew, deer roamed, and all was good in the land.

Ace Jaskon out!

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Love your stories Rip Tide :)

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I just want everyone to know that I've not stopped writing. I just haven't had any good ideas lately and I'm working on another writing project. There will be more. I just need an idea for something. :)

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Ace Jackson with an Environmental catastrophe.

 

Hello my friends, I am here to report to you a terrible sign of our times. The deliberate slaughter of the poor defenseless beavers. These fuzzy little tree biters are being massacred for their token. Yes my friends, for their tokens. It was bad enough when Maia put out a bounty on their furs. Now we have token hunters pushing them to brink of extinction. Certain individuals, who will remain nameless, are paying large sums of money for these tokens. Everyone has gotten in the beaver biffing craze. From the seasoned pro, to the fresh off the boat newbie, everyone has their sights set on these dam builders. Thank goodness this land is eternal or we'd soon be seeing the last of the Valley of the Dwarves mascot!

 

My next story will be: where have all the brownies gone?

 

Ace Jackson out!

Edited by RipTide

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39 minutes ago, RipTide said:

My next story will be: where have all the brownies gone?

 

Eaten, of course, they are best fresh.

 

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3 hours ago, RipTide said:

Ace Jackson with an Environmental catastrophe.

 

Hello my friends, I am here to report to you a terrible sign of our times. The deliberate slaughter of the poor defenseless beavers. These fuzzy little tree biters are being massacred for their token. Yes my friends, for their tokens. It was bad enough when Maia put out a bounty on their furs. Now we have token hunters pushing them to brink of extinction. Certain individuals, who will remain nameless, are paying large sums of money for these tokens. Everyone has gotten in the beaver biffing craze. From the seasoned pro, to the fresh off the boat newbie, everyone has their sights set on these dam builders. Thank goodness this land is eternal or we'd soon be seeing the last of the Valley of the Dwarves mascot!

 

My next story will be: where have all the brownies gone?

 

Ace Jackson out!

So I guess the Curse of Mortos is now the Blessing of Mortos?

 

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Ace Jackson with a sad report

Under extreme confidentiality, it has come to my attention that several individuals have been perpetrating scams in our fair Eternal Lands. Individuals who had made claims of turning over a new leaf and walking the straight and narrow, have merely been waiting for a new suckers to be fleeced. Take this as a warning that the friend you think you have might come with ulterior motives.

Note* I will not divulge names, so don’t even ask. Look at that person’s past before you make that trade.

Ace Jackson signing off.

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Overwhelming Peace

Ace Jackson with a peaceful report

[AD]

Trik’s Pawn emporium: Do you have too many leather helms? Are you buried in iron swords? Bring them to Trik today. He will pay you good freshly minted gold coin in exchange for your over abundance of Arms, armor and clothing. White Stone docks, not far from the Isle Prima boat. Visit Trik today!

[/AD]

It was peace day in our fair Eternal Lands again and again. So much so that the meaning of peace was lost and the people grumbled and complained. Peace is a welcome thing, except when it interferes with our daily retinues and the elimination of the evil hoards. To make matters worse, peace day came and repeated the following day. Within short time we’ve had 3 peace days. The cries and complaints arose from the people. There were talks of reviving the Yellow cloaks to petition teh_god for a reprieve. “Peace days need to end or have some means of removal!” Were the cries on everyone’s lips. The line was drawn in the sand. Hopefully this situation will come to a Peaceful conclusion.

Ace Jackson out!

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Equal Rights for Magicians

[AD]

Tankle’s equipment repair. Is your sword dull? Is your armor less than protective? Tankle’s repair shop will fix your dull sword and damaged armor with a 60% success rate! Listen to this satisfied customer: Vesine, Tankle has been one of my best wine customers and when my pruning knife was dull he fixed it up right away. I take all my blades to Tankle. Tankle’s equipment repair, he’s got what it takes to break what you got!

[/AD]

Ace Jackson with an exciting news story. The Associated Mages Necromancers Underworlders, Thaumaturges & Sorcerers or AMNUTS guild is protesting the discrimination against those of the magic craft. They say that anti magic areas and incomplete magic schools have hampered their learning. Last year the AMNUTS were able to get the anti-magic area removed from Grubani. They are currently protesting outside the Irsis ranging arena and the Irinveron fighting arena. They say these areas are discriminatory against them. One person under condition of anonymity, fearing retribution had these words: “I was just kicking around rocks in Idaloran, I kicked a stone by a house next to the docks. I was teleported inside with my life being ripped from me every second. I couldn’t cast restore or any other magics. Thankfully I had a IP ring on me and I escaped. These anti-magic areas are deadly to the common man. They must be removed.”

To make matters worse, The Summoners Occultist Wizards Hypnotics Astrologist & Thaumaturges or SOWHAT guild is counter protesting the AMNUTS. These two guilds have been fighting for years. Though they both agree that magic craft is being hampered, they refuse to work together on this issue. The AMNUTS feel that summoning is not a proper mage craft. While the SOWHAT’s say that it is. The SOWHAT guild, formerly OWHAT, added Summoning first to their guild name just to gall the AMNUTS. Though neither guild has ever openly attacked one another, the war of words continues. If only these to groups could come together for the common good.

Ace Jackson out!

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A message in a bottle...

Ace Jackson reporting.

While in Portland today, I was walking by the titanium mine. I noticed a small rowboat tied to the dock. Looking out to sea, a far away land called to my spirit. Quickly I counted those things that tied me to this land and the total came up wanting. A few friends will be missed, but the time to leave was very strong in my spirit. I leaped into the boat and untied it from the dock and kicked it away. Drifting out into the water, a riptide caught hold of the boat pushing it farther and farther out to sea. A mostly empty bottle of whiskey was in the bottom of the boat. I drank down the last gulp and quickly putting pen to parchment I wrote this last story. I will put the story in the bottle and toss it into the sea. The riptide that brought me here to eternal lands is taking me away. If anyone finds this message in a bottle, turn over my last story to Eternal Land News.

Goodbye my friends. I bid you peace and blessing in this eternal life and in your real lives.

Ace Jackson (aka Riptide) signing out.

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