MoonShadow Report post Posted February 13, 2005 EuroEnglish The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish": -- In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil sevants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away. By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaning "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!! http://www.icw-net.com/howto/funstuff/euroengl.htm Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Soldus Report post Posted February 13, 2005 (edited) omg ROTFLMAO !!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: edit: and of course it will be english...how could you even think about making some 60 M brits who don't even participate fully learn a new language the + 120 M who speak natively german speak second and third languages anyways Edited February 13, 2005 by Soldus Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Pale_Elf Report post Posted February 13, 2005 Woah, that comes out looking like some sorta butchered russian/german. Zer vil beefen walken in publikstein! Achtenspiel! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Leeloo Report post Posted February 13, 2005 Looks dutch to me :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dent Report post Posted February 13, 2005 Heh, this has been around for a LONG time. I saw it on paper a good 15 years ago. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Pale_Elf Report post Posted February 13, 2005 :lol: The classics will never die. Like chain letters and junk mail. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malaclypse Report post Posted February 13, 2005 Reminds me on a similar one, but with a topic on german orthography, called 'Vereinheitlichung der Rechtschreibung in der deutschen Sprache' (approx.: Unification of orthography in the german language), which I also saw about 15 years ago Quite funny, while on the same time still readable and understandable. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Matrixx_sh Report post Posted February 13, 2005 hehe Crazy Mooneth Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lachesis Report post Posted February 13, 2005 (edited) These are all adaptions to an English author's essay (18th or 19th century I think it was), does anyone possibly know his name or even a link? Edited February 13, 2005 by Lachesis Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeone3000 Report post Posted February 13, 2005 (edited) Zat loks a lot lik newb. Link's at the bottom of his post. Edited February 13, 2005 by freeone3000 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aerowind Report post Posted February 13, 2005 When I first read the topic I was thinking to myself there is an international board for this kind of stuff Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
