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Bob and Sheila


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#1 SleepyDragon

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Posted 05 January 2008 - 02:11 PM

There once was a goblin called Bob
Who was known as a bit of a slob
He was all green and smelly
and as for his belly!
Well a diet would do just the job.

Now Bob had a girlfriend called Sheila
A bit of a sly wheeler dealer
She thought of a plan,
to sort out her 'man'
(with the help of a little tequila)

She invented a new fangled diet
But she wanted to keep her plan quiet
Till she'd have what she'd need
to sate her Bob's greed
And until she was ready to try it.

So Sheila got writing at once
A list of what Bob had to hunt.
Fresh human and elf -
not stale from the shelf
and a dwarf (tho not some little runt)

She needed to stock up her larder,
The next few would be a bit harder.
An orchan, a gnome
who were far from their home,
She thought they would make a good starter.

So after much mumbling and moaning
Bob started his search, tummy groaning
The human died quick
As he fell on his pick.
his blood all frothing and foaming.

Bob next went in search of an elf
and found one with very low health.
He killed it with ease
as it sat among leaves
harving flowers to increase it's wealth.

And so to the next on his list.
A Dwarf with more muscle and fists
it took a bit longer,
but Bob was much stronger
And killed it in just a few hits.

And now's when his problems will start
as he hunts for the gnome with a heart
that will fill him with food
that tastes really good
without ripping his body apart.

Bob hunted all through the dark night
searching places with very low light,
till he found what he needed,
and so he proceeded
to start on his very last fight.

The gnome she was wily and fast
and her magic, was so quick to cast
it didn't take long
Bob could feel his strength gone
as he breathed out his breath at the last.

My story has come to an end
and I wish I could only pretend,
that our old friend Sheila
and her bottle of tequila,
her old ways she soon learned to mend.

Alas it is not really true
so just between us, me and you,
when you see a fem gob
with an ex she called Bob
Just hope she gets eaten by grue.

#2 Jezebelle

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Posted 05 January 2008 - 02:52 PM

wow, thats good!!
I enjoyed it and laghed through it all..VERY well written!!

Jez

#3 Enly

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Posted 05 January 2008 - 03:06 PM

Nice job Sleepy I like it, a smooth enjoyable read :)

I'm not sure if your intent was to make every stanza a limerick (because its very similar to limerick form), in which case I might have a few critiques on it. But it does work very well as just a free verse poem :confused:

Edited by Enly, 05 January 2008 - 03:07 PM.


#4 Roja

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 04:10 PM

haha, that's a fun rhyme/poem, good job :D

and as for his belly!
Well a diet would do just the job.

Wouldn't the ! be at the end of the last sentence and a common after belly?

#5 Suncie

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 06:34 PM

Ut oh, tequila Sheila !

Well done Sleepy, really enjoyed it. tehehehe poor Bob

#6 sywren

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 06:40 PM

I love the poem, and I love that it was done in limericks. It was a good choice because it keeps the lighthearted, silly tone of the poem.

Nice job!

#7 SleepyDragon

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 07:04 PM

Thanks for the feedback everyone. Glad you enjoyed it. I haven't written anything for a number of years and have never made anything public before so it's nice that it made people smile.

Nice job Sleepy I like it, a smooth enjoyable read :pickaxe:

I'm not sure if your intent was to make every stanza a limerick (because its very similar to limerick form), in which case I might have a few critiques on it. But it does work very well as just a free verse poem :icon13:


Each verse was intended to be in limerick form and I know that some of the rhythm in a couple of verses doesn't quite fit. I put the story over exactitude towards the end.

Roja' Posted Today, 04:10 PM
haha, that's a fun rhyme/poem, good job smile.gif

and as for his belly!
Well a diet would do just the job.

Wouldn't the ! be at the end of the last sentence and a common after belly?


The exclamation mark was put in to emphasise the size of the belly and the diet was the solution rather than emphasising both things which putting an exclamation mark at the end would have done. (I think)

#8 RunTime

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 10:00 PM

lol very nice SD :P

Edited by RunTime, 06 January 2008 - 10:00 PM.





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