Oh Those Men :p

[Jezebelle]

Yeah, you do have a point.  Add "helps build up tolerance for when we have kids" to the list. 

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For 'when" we have kids??

 

You dont considder yourselves adults do you?

I mean..even for you lot..that seems..almost..a funny thought

 

*hugs*

 

Jez

[shallara]

I hope you're not saying what I think you're saying. 

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well.. you asked if i had a twin.. the closest thing to a twin i have is my older brother thats only 14 months older than me..

 

sorry ta disappoint y'all

there's only one of me ta go around

[ttlanhil]

For 'when" we have kids??

 

You dont considder yourselves adults do you?

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Well, yes, in most ways, being 22 and all.

on the other hand, I don't even have a girlfriend at the moment, so my life plan (which I know probably won't happen, but still) would mean I'm at least 5 years from having kids... that's a fairly long time, really

[Jezebelle]

Well, yes, in most ways, being 22 and all.

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Age has nothing to do with being an adult realy..and its a fact..most men never grow up..and when they have a female partner..they're not even trying to grow up Much easier to remain kids and be pampered

 

and hey..who can blame kids for not listening at times?

 

to prove my point above, read this:

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

 

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.

 

"I'd really love to be ten again" she replied wistfully.

 

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, got up, made her a nice big bowl of Frosties and then took her off to their local theme park.

 

What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

 

Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

 

Then it was off to the cinema to see the latest blockbuster, complete with a hot-dog, popcorn, a big fizzy drink, and a huge bag of M&M's, her favourite sweets. What a time she had!

 

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

 

He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well, Darling, what was it like being ten again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

 

"You blithering idiot", she replied. "I meant my dress size..."

 

And the moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's still going to get it wrong!

[ttlanhil]

Age has nothing to do with being an adult realy..and its a fact..most men never grow up..and when they have a female partner..they're not even trying to grow up Much easier to remain kids and be pampered

 

and hey..who can blame kids for not listening at times?

 

to prove my point above, read this:

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

 

<snip>

 

And the moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's still going to get it wrong!

165176[/snapback]

:lol: great story

 

as for growing up... yes, it's nice to be fussed over, but on the other hand, it's good to be able to look after yourself and someone else as well (finding balance there would probably be a Good Thing)

 

then again, I've met a few people (wiminfolk included, though a lot less common) who haven't grown up... and a few who have, but realise that growing up is no fun if you can't be immature some of the time (picking the right times is the trick)

[shallara]

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.

 

"I'd really love to be ten again" she replied wistfully.

 

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, got up, made her a nice big bowl of Frosties and then took her off to their local theme park.

 

What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

 

Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

 

Then it was off to the cinema to see the latest blockbuster, complete with a hot-dog, popcorn, a big fizzy drink, and a huge bag of M&M's, her favourite sweets. What a time she had!

 

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

 

He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well, Darling, what was it like being ten again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

 

"You blithering idiot", she replied. "I meant my dress size..."

 

And the moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's still going to get it wrong!

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ROFLMFAO !!! Thats absolutely hilarious Jez!!

[foncEmerlin]

OK I must say one thing

 

I love you women without you I would die and if everyother man was to leave this planet I would do my best to show every women how much they mean to the world

 

 

Without you we would not be

 

this is my only post here hope it lets you know where

I stand:)

Edited May 27, 2005 by foncEmerlin

[justice_knight]

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

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not true we listen we just forget really quickly and plus some stuff we really dont wanna listen to another way is to turn off the tv but im not really helping am i <_<

[crannog]

Well...

 

That story is sooooo funny (and true - i would prolly do that)

 

A few comments have mentioned being adult, or childish - well, there has to be a balance, because if you dont have fun now...one day you will wake up and find that it is too late !!

 

Jez mentioned about how to treat a woman (and seems to think i have done SOMETHING right!!) but its all about respect, and love. If you love a woman (or a man) you must respect them, trust them and make sure they know it. Without this there will be tears.

 

I love jez and trust her and respect her - that is what i have done right, and...i cant really deny much of what she says - although i will, coz i cant let her think she has won

[justice_knight]

Well...

 

That story is sooooo funny (and true - i would prolly do that)

 

A few comments have mentioned being adult, or childish - well, there has to be a balance, because if you dont have fun now...one day you will wake up and find that it is too late !! 

 

Jez mentioned about how to treat a woman (and seems to think i have done SOMETHING right!!) but its all about respect, and love. If you love a woman (or a man) you must respect them, trust them and make sure they know it. Without this there will be tears.

 

I love jez and trust her and respect her - that is what i have done right, and...i cant really deny much of what she says - although i will, coz i cant let her think she has won 

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isnt the point to prove they cant live without us............that really didnt help man

[sKuller]

I completely agree with Crannog, but it's only as we grow older and experience these feelings are we able to control them and ourselves....yes we are children at heart...i'm 29 and collect marvel series figures because toys like that wer'nt around in my day...and i buy GI joe figures which i convert...so much fun ...but within that i think i'm mature enough to understand my babies needs...and yes no matter what we will alwys be wrong ...this we have to succumb to

[Jezebelle]

I love jez and trust her and respect her - that is what i have done right, and...i cant really deny much of what she says - although i will, coz i cant let her think she has won 

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Exactly my point..

 

And hon..We both won, when we found eachother

 

*hugs*

 

Jez

[justice_knight]

Exactly my point..

 

And hon..We both won, when we found eachother

 

*hugs*

 

Jez

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thats so precious

[shallara]

awww.. *sniff, sniff*.... y'all, thats soo sweet..

[Daxon]

Age has nothing to do with being an adult realy..and its a fact..most men never grow up..and when they have a female partner..they're not even trying to grow up  Much easier to remain kids and be pampered

 

There's 'growing up' then there's 'enjoying' your life. Don't try to mix them up. I'm 27 but there's no law that says I have to act like a stiff like everyone else. I have quite a few years to go before I have reasons to no longer enjoy life.

 

Also, about pampering, I can support myself fine if I was to become a single parent. Infact, right now, I'm supporting 3 kids -- a daughter, son, and a wife. Think about it.

[Jezebelle]

There's 'growing up' then there's 'enjoying' your life.  Don't try to mix them up.  I'm 27 but there's no law that says I have to act like a stiff like everyone else.  I have quite a few years to go before I have reasons to no longer enjoy life. 

 

Also, about pampering, I can support myself fine if I was to become a single parent.  Infact, right now, I'm supporting 3 kids -- a daughter, son, and a wife.  Think about it. 

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There are exceptions to every rule

 

*hugs*

 

Jez

[WiLdCaRd]

:lol: Well you "ladies" can certainly dish it out, the question is....can you take it?? Lets find out.......here`s a few for the lads

 

Q. What do you give the blonde who has everything?

A. Penicillin.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. What do you see when you look into a blondes eyes?

A. The back of her head.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?

A. A know-it-all bitch.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?

A. Branch manager.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. What is it when a blonde blows into another blondes ear?

A. Data transfer.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. Why did the blonde ask her friends to save burned-out light bulbs?

A. She needed them for the darkroom she was building.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. How can you tell a blonde has been at a computer?

A. There's cheese in front of the mouse.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. What did the blonde name her pet zebra?

A. Spot.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?

A. You always hear about them but never see them.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. What's a blondes idea of natural childbirth?

A. No make-up.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

A. "Is it mine?"

 

~~~~~

 

Q. Did you hear about the blonde who got locked in the bathroom?

A. She was in there so long, she wet her pants.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. What do you call eight blondes in a freezer?

A. Frosted flakes.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. Why was the blonde excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?

A. Because the box said 4 to 6 years.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

A. Gifted.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $100 bill. Who picks it up?

A. The dumb blonde! There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: Why did God give blondes 2% more intelligence than horses?

A: He didn't want them pooping in the street during parades, too.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. How do you plant dope?

A. Bury a blonde.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

A. They're both empty from the neck up.

 

~~~~~

 

Q. What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear ?

A. "Thanks for the refill."

 

~~~~~

 

Q: How do blonde brain cells die ?

A: Alone.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?

A1: Blow in her ear.

A2: Buy her another beer.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day?

A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?

A: Tell her she's pregnant.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: What will she ask you?

A: 'Is it mine?'

 

~~~~~

 

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?

A: She drowns it.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?

A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: What do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?

A: A foursome.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law?

A: An air bag.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?

A: To avoid the draft.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for two hours?

A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3-1/2 days?

A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125 lbs.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?

A: The noise gave her a headache.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?

A: They don't know the route.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?

A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?

A: Elvis has been sighted.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?

A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

A: Wave to her.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: How does a blonde "high-5?"

A: She smacks herself in the forehead.

 

~~~~~

 

Q: What was the blonde doing up on the roof?

A: Someone told her that the drinks were on the house!!

 

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?

A; None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

 

Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?

A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

 

Q: Why do women have smaller feet then men?

A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

 

Q: How do you fix a women's watch?

A: You don't. There's a clock on the oven.

 

Q: Why do men pass more gas than women do?

A: Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

 

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first?

A: The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.

 

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?

A: A women who won't do what she's told.

 

Q: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

 

Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?

A: Divorced.

 

 

 

What Women Really Mean

 

FINE

This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

 

FIVE MINUTES

 

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

 

NOTHING

 

This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

 

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)

 

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

 

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)

 

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

 

LOUD SIGH

 

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

 

SOFT SIGH

 

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

 

THAT'S OKAY

 

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

 

PLEASE DO

 

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

 

THANKS

 

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

 

THANKS A LOT

 

This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what

Women Are Like

 

...the stock market

They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

 

...computers

They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

 

...Saran Wrap

Useful but clingy.

 

...horses

Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

 

...parking meters

If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

 

...fax machines

Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

 

...political campaign contributors

If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

 

...refrigerators

They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

 

...blue jeans

They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

 

...country western songs

They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.

[Ryuu]

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

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ROFL! :lol:

[shallara]

nice list man..but ya left some out

 

why did the blonde get fired from the M & M factory?

for eating all the W's

 

what are the two greatest inventions in blonde history?

ejector seat on a helicopter and

screen door on a submarine

 

why do blondes drink everything warm?

they for got the recipe for ice

 

 

i can say these and laugh at em..i am and always have been a blonde

though as i get older i get more knowledge and wisdom, and as a result my hair is gradually getting darker on its own

[ttlanhil]

ejector seat on a helicopter and

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funny as it sounds, this has actually been built and used; a military model I beleive (if I recall right, the blades shoot off first, then the seat ejects)

[WiLdCaRd]

Doesn`t the Apache Gunships have ejection seats?? And wasn`t it in a James Bond film?? Pierce Brosnan I think it was, I might be wrong though.

[Zaer]

Q. Why was the blonde excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?

A. Because the box said 4 to 6 years.

 

LoL!

[scarr]

haha that 1 is phunny

[Whanley123]

2.take out the batteries on the remote and then tell him that a Football game is on

 

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for that one, any one who actually watches football would know that the games are only on sunday for the nfl so it would ont work then unless they watched college it would be on saturday so to do that it would have to be on the weekend

 

very creative though did you come up with that yourself? :lol:

Edited June 10, 2005 by Whanley123