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sora_barzahd

America has the most Bad Ass Leaders

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Top 5 most BA

 

While this article is written in a comedic style, it *is* actually truthful :icon13:

 

Every so often in America, we seem to have a need to elect someone who is absolutely apeshit. While this may seem alarming, these leaders have amazing track records and manage to do a great amount of good for the country.

 

That being said, I do have some disagreements with how low Andrew Jackson was ranked. It is my belief that he should be much higher. In fact, he should be #2 on that list. There is no way that no other president could stack to the behemoth of pure manliness that was Teddy Roosevelt, but Jackson would definitely kill Washington and Quincy Adams in a battle Royal before being mauled by Teddy. While my black and Native American side wishes to ressurect Jackson just to slap him down to almighty hell for being a racist prick, my manly American, teenage side wishes to shake his hand for being so hardcore.

 

There are some details not listed in this article that may give you more of an insight in to just how bad ass these presidents were.

 

  • When he was elected, Jackson allowed the general public to hold a rager in the whitehouse, and was given a 100 lb round of cheese. He ordered the whitehouse staff to leave it on the floor of the whitehouse foyer. This didn't matter as only he could move it. Eventually, it started to mold and the stench of 100 lbs of moldy mold permeated the White house untill he left office. There is evidently still a stain where the cheese had sat. He also kept a pet parrot that wasn't allowed on the floor of congress because it swore too much. He also had a special day of the month in which he hacked up the phlegm caused by having somewhere around 19 bullets in his body.
     
  • While Roosevelt was hanging out in the back countries of the Dakotas, (Sources say that he went to build a ranch, simply because he was bored) he went to a bar known as 'The Devil's Asscrack' in South Dakota and ordered a coffee. Four or five cowboys, who had been frequenting The Devil's Asscrack for a few years or so, made fun of his beverage choice. Teddy asked them if they wanted to 'take it outside.' They did. The next day, these cowboys could be found working on Roosevelt's new ranch, wincing from the thunderous hailstorm of blows and moustache thrashings received the morning before.
     
  • There was a river in south america formally known as, "The River of Doubt," duie to the fact that no one had ever traversed it successfully. By successfully, I mean without getting smashed into small, bloody pieces before being consumed by piranhas. It is now called the Roosevelt River. Guess why.

 

So what do you think of these leaders? The only foreign leader that could possibly stack up against these five would be Italian President Berlusconi. I mean, managing to pass a law preventing people from prosecuting you from doing illegal activity? Clever. Sure he's a douche bag, but a quick thinking one.

Edited by sora_barzahd

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Andrew Jackson was the first president to actually campaign rather than sit at home looking cool.

He was known as the president who "killed the banks".

See, the US is supposed to print it's own money, according to the Constitution, and when the European bankers started to try and scare the American public into using their money instead of the Greenback, Jackson knew what was going on and put a stop to it.

(They won in the long run though...eventually leading to the "Federal Reserve")

So uh, in that regard, I think he kicked ass.

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I think Obama is pretty badass, the fly thing was very cool. And calling Kanye a jackass was epic.

 

I know a lot of people don't like him and a lot of people would even resort to violence. But he really is improving Americas image, which was very much needed.

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