sirrobin Report post Posted May 22, 2005 (edited) What of the foxes short and quick Us players beat them down with a stick For their fur that we sell for about five gold Or it sits in our musty hold Have we any respect for our furry friends Orange and white that flows and bends The fox might be a slinking thief But why kill him, he's not beef Most people say the rabbit is most poor But I say the fox experiences more blood and gore For the fox who yelps and cries When you strike him down he ussally dies So the next time you kill a fox Remember you treat them like dirty socks the end By no other then SIRROBIN Edited May 24, 2005 by sirrobin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sirrobin Report post Posted May 22, 2005 Umm does this pass??? or do i need to edit Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sirrobin Report post Posted May 22, 2005 I dont seam to be getting any replies lol But can this be entered in the contest Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cho-yun Report post Posted May 23, 2005 um i don't think there is the right amount of lines. i thought the amount was 15 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Quinticus Report post Posted May 23, 2005 sorry sirrobbin, typically i do not read message boards on the weekend. Please forgive. It's not quite long enough. 2 lines short. 15 line minimum was the status quo, but i changed it to 14 today as i learned sonnets tend to be 14 lines. You still have 3 days to edit! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sirrobin Report post Posted May 23, 2005 K 14 lines now Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brom Report post Posted May 24, 2005 (edited) Good work, I enjoyed it again. Here are a few corrections for you to consider. As always editing these are up to you, poetry is a tricky thing For thier fur that we sell for about 5 gold For their fur that we sell for about five gold The fox might be a slinkying theith The fox might be a slinking thief But why kill him hes not beef But why kill him, hes' not beef or But why kill him, he is not beef But i say the fox experences more blood and gore But I say the fox experiences more blood and gore he ussaly dies he usually dies Keep up the good work, I like reading you work Edited May 24, 2005 by EWQ222 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Quinticus Report post Posted May 24, 2005 Ok sirrobin will be entered. Thank you for participating! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
monkeyki Report post Posted May 25, 2005 very cute and amusing, follow the editing suggestions, good entry Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ttlanhil Report post Posted June 10, 2005 This poem has been selected for a ttlanhil's choice award! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
