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Aluwen's request.

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It was in my first day’s in the eternal lands, far after the Great War and the war of the Gods. I was a young boy with a lot of spirit to grow big and strong.


My first day’s in the eternal lands were very hard. But on my second day I was visting the Crystal Caves and wile I was working right next to someone (who was making a lot of noise), I got a vision. The vision showed me this:


I was in a room, well I actually don’t know if it was a room. I saw some furniture but that was actually all I saw. There weren’t any walls and the floor was gone to. I got very scared in the room but i didn't move a bit.

Suddenly I heard a door go open and close again. I was to afraid to move and after 5 minutes off waiting till something would happen I finally got myself to turn around and see if there was something behind me. When I turned around I saw a door, in front of it was a beautiful woman. I didn’t know who she was, so I asked her to tell me her name. She told me that I didn’t need to know who she was. But she did tell me that I had to listen very carefully, cause what she was going to tell me would change my entire view of this life and it would give me a new target in this world. Something inside of me told me that this woman was a God. At that moment I had no idea which God she was.


This is what she told me:

Find this place in your world, but don’t go and search for it, you will find it when the time is ready.


Suddenly there was a lot a noise, when I got used to it. I knew what it was. It was that guy in the Crystal Caves who was working right beside me. Then I noticed that I was back in the Crystal Caves again.


I thought this was so strange that I asked the guy next to me if I had been gone for long, he looked at me in a strange way but then he went on with his work and didn’t answer. I knew then that I hadn’t been moved from the Crystal Caves. The entire vision happened in a fraction of a second in my mind nothing more and nothing less.


After a few day’s I forgot about the entire vision, I just went on with my life. The strange thing was that I never forgot what she said, in my unconscious it always stayed. After many months and a lot of training in everything that you can train yourself in, I went to Naralik, for some old guys, who needed my help in healing his daughter, she got ill when fighting red snakes. There I found a nice looking house. I went in thinking I might buy it, cause it was really big and it had his own terrace and that would be really handy in the times that I would have big parties to celebrate my birthday. When I opened the door and went in I directly went back to the moment I saw my vision.

This house is the house Aluwen was talking about. Inside i found the room that I saw in my vision to. The room with the beautiful woman, almost god like woman. I looked a bit around and found out that all the furniture was exactly the same and it was placed at the same spot as in my vision.


My back was turned to the door and again just like in the vision I heard the door go open and then close again. I turned around and what did I see? I saw nothing at all. I was surprised by this cause I expected that the woman would be there again. When I wanted to turn around again I suddenly saw something that hadn’t been there when I entered the room. It was a white piece of paper. When I picked it up it was white but by the time I had enough of the paper and wanted to throw it away, letters began to appear on the paper. The strange thing was that the letters that were appearing on the paper formed the word “helloâ€. I didn’t know what to do with it so I just wrote "hello" back.

I was pretty surprised that the paper answered my hello with and text that told me that the woman in my vision had been Aluwen, and now she had a request for me. She wanted me to do something for her.


In this time Aluwen and Mortos were each others enemy and they would do anything to fight each other. That is why Aluwen asked me to take her bears, in total 5 of them into the temple of Mortos to destroy every servant of Mortos that was in there.

She also gave a precise time and date that I would have to do that. In 5 day’s when the sun would go under I would have to enter the temple and kill everything that was in it.


Then the paper that gave me Aluwens message burned up into flames, nice and colorfull flames, and I could not ask anything anymore. I was pretty disappointed cause everything looked so real to me but I didn’t see any bears that Aluwen promised me to support me.


I went to a chair that stood in the strange looking room and sat down, to think about what I had to do and if I would do it. I wasn’t entirely sure if I had to do it, cause there still wasn’t any sign of bears that would help me to destroy Mortos his servants.


After hours of thinking I took the decision of just going to the temple in 5 day’s and look what would happen when I got there. There still wasn’t any sign of any bear that would help me. But then again I was inside a house. When I opened the door to go outside I knew where the bears had been all that time, they had gathers around the door to wait for me.


The next five day’s were the best day’s of training, the bears would let me train my defence on them, I became much stronger in a short amount of time, I became a great defender, and I knew that that would be useful when I would fight Mortos his servants.


Five day’s had passed and I went to the temple to wait for the sun to go under. I was really feeling strange, I knew that this was going to be hard to do but I also felt like I could easily do this with Aluwens help.


The sun went down and suddenly a blue flash of light came into my direction, it hit me and my 5 bears, i felt the energy of Aluwen though me and i knew that if anything would happen Aluwen would take care of me. When I entered I was really shocked to see what was inside, it was just like Mortos knew that I would come to kill his servants cause he had called all his strong warriors to the temple to defend it.

Suddenly a strange feeling came from my feed and slowly went to my head, by the time it reached my brain I knew what it was, Aluwen gave me here power to fight in here name, this was the second shot of energy Aluwen game me. I gave the bears the order to attack the left row of warriors, they luckily did what I said and they had a long fight with Mortos his servants. I went to fight the right line of warriors. It was a long and bloody fight, many times I was nearly dead but then Aluwen would heal me again and give me power to fight even more powerfull than I had already been doing. But I wasn’t strong enough to beat the Mortos warriors. After six hours of fighting one of the warriors was able to cut of my left arm, i called upon Aluwens powers, but she couldn't heal me at that spot anymore. This was to much for me I blacked out.


I don’t know what happened to the warriors in the temple but the next thing I can remember is that I was in a glowing white space and in front of me was Aluwen, that was what I knew for sure now. She looked at me and said I fought bravely and I made it possible for here to finish of with the strongest servants of Mortos.


We had a long talk about things. She made clear that everything in my world was in one line, but Mortos his warriors were the ones that broke that line and so they had to be destroyed. I asked her why it was so important that this line of power wouldn't be broken, she said to me that my brain wasn't able to get the point of it, even when she would explain it to me. At the end of our conversation I asked what happened when I blacked out, she told me she had destroyed all the other servants of Mortos and she took me with her to her home land.


I don’t know why but when I was with Aluwen at here home land I missed that arm I lost in the battle but when she had send me back to the Eternal lands I suddenly had my arm again, though it’s still a bit painful when I carry a shield, but I guess that will never go away. The feeling in my arm is the only this that makes me sure that it wasn't all a dream.


I just hope that I never have to do something like that again, I will never forget the horror that happened in that temple, and I still feel it when I go into the temple to fight the female orcs that ore in there.


Aluwen had surely changed my view on the Eternal Lands, I now know that you shouldn't kill any animal with it being really necessaryto do so.


I guess Aluwen will find some other warrior soon to help here fight against Mortos.


I have been through terrible things cause of Aluwen but i still visit her temple every day, cause I know that she will alway's guard over me.




I guess i was just a little bit bored and wanted to write a nice little short story.


I hope you like it :)

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Maybe work a little on spelling and grammar...some of it is illegible (to me at least)

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yeah i prolly should, wasn't really awake when i wrote it, it was around 11 o'clock in the evening.

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A nice story indeed, but just like crus said, some spelling and grammar errors which sometimes make it hard to read.

Maybe elaborate on your visit to Aluwen a bit more, make her say something about the meaning of life or something, maybe in a riddle, or directly, give the story a bit more colour.


Just my two cents :)

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I hope all the spelling and gramar errors are out now.


And i'm glad you like the story. :!:

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"A nice little short story", exactly as you said. :D After all the grand epics and great battles, mystical legends and whatnot, it's nice to have simple stories like these to round out the collection.


There are still a few minor corrections you have to do, but they can be ironed out fairly easily during the final editing stage. If you want to do them now, though, replace "Aluwens" with "Aluwen's", watch out for the spelling of "painful", and you should try to replace some of your commas with full stops.


But nevertheless, a nice simple story for light reading, lobonar. Hope you feel bored again sometime soon and are willing write more on these Forums. :wink: Good to see that you've tried to give your story a sense of time and place with those references to the WoTG and Great War.



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Well i hope all the errors are out now, but if they aren't, i'm not able to get them out for 3 more weeks cause i will be going on my vacation to france tomorrow.


If I'm lucky i will get some inspiration for my next story, i actually have 2 other stories i want to write, one is a following story on Aluwen's request and the other one is totally different but i think it will be a good story.


cya in 3 weeks

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lobonar, this is a great read. It is short and simple and highly entertaining which is, after all, the point, right? I'm pretty sure you're back from France :blink: so if you'd like to do the final edit on this that would be awesome and let me know? Or, if you'd prefer or don't care, I'll work it over and then place it in the appropriate time (in history) and genre.


I would prefer to consult with you should there be any changes needed due to main storyline changes so...give a reply when/if you can and let me know what's up.


Thank :)

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