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a short(?) story

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Allright, this isn't a suggestion for a storyline or anything. It's just a story I am currently writing, set in the world of Eternal-Lands. I would be pleased if you could give me some feedback, and if I get enough encouraging posts from you, I might even post rest of it (if I can keep myself away from the game long enough to write :))


Anyway, here it comes:


The bright morning sun touched the crops with warm fingers of light. The farmers were already awake and working, either harvesting the acorn or tending to the animals.


In the middle of the golden fields a huge, grass covered hill rose up towards the sky. On top of it lay a beautiful garden filled with flowers and other plants gathered from all around the surrounding lands. There were Blue Lupines, roses of every colour imaginable, Tiger Lillys in orange rows along the side of the garden walls. There was even a cactus, imported from the Desert Pines, standing alone in a sandy patch of its own close to the gates guarding the garden.


Cutting through the lush plants, like a sword made from the coldest of steel, ran a narrow cobbled path. If you followed the path from its beginning to its end you would first pass through the two white gates overlooking the entrance. To your left you would see the cactus, with its sharp needles pointing outward, and to your right a great fountain portraiting a young mermaid, holding a cup in her hands, from wich water sprouted in a never ending flow.


If you went further down the path you would pass under a roof of creepers so thick, it hardly let the sun get a glimpse of the ground beneath it. When you come out into the sun again you would find yourself standing in front of two well-polished oak doors. The doors lead into the big mansion sitting in the middle of the garden.


In the mansion lived a man, Argond, his wife, Lunirata, and their servants. All the land surrounding the mansion, the garden, the fields of crops and the forests, belonged to them.


OK, this is the beginning of it. Feel free to post what you think about it. Any feedback is helpful.

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Thnx, Guthix :)


I was going to post an update of the story, but I don't think I will have time for it since I am leaving in one hour. I won't come back until late Sunday night (23.00 or so), so I guess the update will have to wait until sometime next week. :(


Hopefully I will have something to post on Monday.

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