CONTEST DATE AND INFORMATION HAS CHANGED - READ BELOW
Some of you may have noticed, that my gorgeous Draegoni self has taken a shocking turn in the past couple weeks. No longer have I the glittering scales, or glistening fangs. I face you now.. short, brown, and bespectacled. How could such a Gnomish thing happen to such a tall and graceful creature?
The mystery and adventure is far from over. I invite you all to participate in, and shape the tale of Phenic, the Bard of CEL.
Oh, and did I mention, there are some fabulous ......
Prizes:
1 Dark & Mysterious Potion (1 Year P2P Race of your choice)
4 Iron Broad Swords of Fire
5k Health Essence
3 Full Iron Plate Sets (Torso, Cuisses, Greaves)
3 Titanium Serpent Swords
2 Titanium Chain Mail
10 Rostogol Stones
2 Enriched Magic Essence
10 Titanium Longswords
10 Serpent Stones
The Story:
Well I don't know, eh, I suppose it's all me fault, what 'appened.
After a few days of serenadin' my guildmates with the Ballad of Oniun the Odorous Orchan, they says to me.. they says I should take my gift of song across the oceans, and back t' me homeland. Most Draegoni are too sour and serious for their own good, they says, and I might bring cheer to their hearts. I said sounds like a wondrous thing, and grand adventure, but I c'nae afford such a voyage, I spent all me cullins on a new lute. And they all said no worries m'darlin, the whole guild chipped in and we got you a free ticket, and we packed yer bags. How kind of yas, says I, but won't you be wondering what happens in th' other 147 verses of the Ballad of Oniun? They says no no, we can wait, you must save yer voice for your people!
See, that's why I luffs me guildies, they're such flash, generous and kind folk, always thinking of charitable doin'.
Anyway, they saw me off to the docks, then scuttered off and away real fast. They're busy folk, bless. So there I was a'top a huge stick with a passel of other passengers. We're out to sea for hours on end, and they're all looking powerful bored and depressed. So I thought to meself, here, I c'n make a start to my mission already, and I strummed out the most beautiful tune about the Maiden of Nordcarn wot Dances Naked with Goblins. Real classic, that 'un. But hi ho and away, sum folkses have n' appreciation for such entertainment, and they 'ad me by my boots and chucked me overboard by the middle of the second verse. How was I t' know they were on a religious convoy and don't fancy dancin' naked maidens? I mean, who doesn't fancy naked dancin' maidens?
But anyway, so there I was, adrift and awash with naught but my loverly lute atwixt me and the ocean bed. Salt water does terrible things to delicate rosewood, and likewise to Draegoni scale, I'll have yer know. I weren't bothered by the cold too much, and I thank me heritage for that, but after a while I did decide I was a part worried and the like. I was in t'middle of water, afterall, and large fishy things tend to live in such places. Most fishes make good eatin' n all, but some of 'em don't mind snacking on lutes. Known fact, that. An' what's a Bard without their lute might I ask?
Fate 'n fortunes fair smiled upon my scaly soul though, and I clapped view of a slug of land not far off. Despite the fins on me 'ead, I can confide I'm nary one for swimming, and it did take me nigh upon hours to swish my way over. T'was nearly dark afore I put me legs on the sands of the stretch, by the base of nightfall I did so happen to see a right snug lookin' cave in which I could spend the night.
To me wonderment and astonished eyes though, this hole in the rock contained a great number of things I'd not suspected to find on such a dark and desolate place. In the light fast fading, I stumbled over a great crate, and it spilled out some essences, so I swooshed myself up a great flaming fire essence torch and looked 'round properly. The 'ole cavern was blam packed full of all assortments of wunnerous hobjects, I'll tell yer. Barrels an' crates stacked high, filled with cloaks and clothes, essences, potions and rich wine. There were sets of armours of the finest craft, and weapons of every make leaning against the walls.
Mind you, all of it was caked over with a musty powder, and many a spider had woven homes and hopes across all that gear. No idea who would abandon such wealth and leave it to time and tides. Cricket biscuits though, I was so amazed, as I stood meself there gawpin with my mouth open, one of the aforementioned spiders decided t' tap out a dance on my tongue. Fair shocked I was, not afraid of spiders but all those hairy legs are mighty ticklish like, so I grabbed t'nearest vial to me, and swished the bug down. I thought I'd been drunk over on a vile poison though, the world went wobbly on me, then sideways with a belch.
Afearin' I would die right there, I thought it best that I should know what killed me so 'orribly, and I searched around until I found another vial like the one that'd done me in. Th' stuff inside was all dark like and shimmery, I'd ne're seen such a potion crafted, unless yer count me old mothar's cookin'. Suddenly as the pain begain in me stummuch, it was fair over. But strike me, if I weren't in a worser state, for the second the rocks stopped spinning, I was staring into the eyes of a great beast like nothing I'd ever heard tell of. 'e seemed fairly peeved to see me there, and growled most ferociously.
Normally like, I'd just poppo and summon a whappin' great Chimaerin to settle such disputes. But I'd been cast aside and adrift without my magics, and although I was surrounded by great weaponcrafts, I've never been one to get used to such monster slaying. I'd've probably cut my tongue on one of those blades.
But I struck a gallant a pose as I could, for everyone knows music soothes savage beasts. I was mighty feared of his fangs, but I warbled and played as my knees knocked. Indeed, he seemed a trifle calmer as I sang of the dells and unicorns of Whitestone, but I was so scairt, I fergot meself, and started up on a lively Human drinking song. He w's alright as that as well to start with, but I'm fairly afraid that although I did'nae happen to insult his mother, I made out fair tell that his father may have been a scragged and ugly rodent. Not me fault the race of Man has such lewd lyrics.
Anyway, yonder monster starts roaring and then to my wonderment, cursing me in my own tongue! A talking critter! He's powerful angry that've I've stolen his magic potions. And I says to him, I says I didn't know they was anyones, I thought they was abandon 'ere. He swiped at me and nearly clove me head to foot but I jumped back in time to save me scales. Alas though, my fair lute was riven to splinters. I dunno what came over me, I was backing away, complaining that anyone could mistake these things for abandon, and I told him I had t'address of a man who rents Dwarves. The critter seemed a might bit puzzled, and he stopped stalking me long enough so I could explain that those Dwarves are hairy lil beasties, and bouncing one off t' cave walls could fairly remove all the cobwebbing. 'e didn't wanna know the address of the rental though, and he leapt at me.
Cornered as I was, and that was indeed pretty much at the wall, I happened to think, I'm a fair too young to die, and what'll my guildies do without my cheer? And for a quick moment I wished I was anything but a Draegoni about to be eaten by a monstrous thug. What d'y'know? Puff and there I was in a flash of light, no longer tall an' proud, but short and round. The critter seemed fair shocked too, and he well missed me and crashed into t'wall overhead. He seemed mighty powerful though, and I doubt it would have taken him a goosefeather to recover, so I did the only respectable thing a Gnome of my stature could do... I hid in a barrel.
This barrel was awful cramped, there was all kinds of stuffs in it asides my portly lil' form. The beastie was ranting and raving about how he'd track me down to the end of his days. I fumbled around in there, and again fate smiled prettily at me, and I found meself a teleportation ring. I doubt 'e saw me in the dark, but I pulled a dreadful face and waved a rude gesture at the monster before popping on th' ring.
Puff, and there I was in the middle of the Valley of the Dwarves, barrel an' all, amongst some spooked lookin' wolf hunters.
That's about all there is to tell really. My guildies looked dissapointed to see me back so soon, I think they wus unhappy that I failed to bring my tidings to my people. Although, they cheered mighty loud when I told of my exploits, 'specially when I talked of the beastie slashing at me and missing all but me lute. Some of 'em made mention that the critter may well be after me, but I think they just like the expression of a startled Gnome. Bless 'em, they're warm-hearted and fun loving, that lot.
Although I may not have been able to sing to my dour cousins across the sea, I decided to spread the good tidings of me guild in the local area. The barrel that I came back in was well packed with goodies, and I'm lookin' forward to distributing them after a touch of a fun game. And I've got annuder of those potions too! I thought of usin' it meself, but 'tis always better to give than be gyrated, I says.
The Contest: This will be taking place on Saturday, the 15th of October (2005). The contest itself seems pretty straight forward. All you've got to do is find me, and bring me a little something that I may ask for. One map, no clues. Seems simple? Good. What could possibly go wrong with that? It's foolproof...
Special Mini-Event:
CANCLED AND COMBINED WITH MAIN EVENT DUE TO TIME/DATE CHANGE
Not everyone lives in EST, and y'know what.. for some of you that's a school night t'boot. Since I want everyone to have a good time, I'll be reserving 1 of the Magic Swords, 1 of the Plate Sets, 1 of the Ros Stones, and throwing in an extra 1k HE and a few Titanium Longs to give away either on the weekend after the main event. I'll announce more specific times when I can for that. It won't be in the middle of the night, I promise (we're looking more at afternoon for you folks across the pond)
Notes and Thank You:
The times and/or dates for these are not set in stone, however I will be sure to update here if there are any changes.
A huge thank you goes out to CEL, not only for helping me organize this mess, but for putting up with my whims, insanity, terribly lyrics, and of course, giving me the honour of being their official Bard.
Another thank you goes out to Entropy, for entertaining my wishes when it came time to buy the prizes.
Edited in red for your viewing pleasure.
Secondary Edit in blue, hopefully to stop confusion over timing.
This better be the last edit ever - green I say!
