Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

[KillerQween]

Contemporary version of the classical question: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

 

JOHN KERRY

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

 

RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

 

GEORGE W BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

 

HANS BLIX

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

 

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking Americans.

 

RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this?!? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

 

MARTHA STEWART

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

 

DR SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

 

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die in the rain. Alone.

 

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

 

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

 

BARBARA WALTERS

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

 

JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

 

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

 

KARL MARX

It was an historic inevitability.

 

CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

 

BILL GATES

I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

 

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

 

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

 

AL GORE

I invented the chicken!

 

COLONEL SANDERS

Did I miss one?

[shasso]

 

btw, y did the r00ster cross the road? ..Its was stuck in teh chickin

[Hazor]

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die in the rain. Alone.

 

CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

Haha! xD that's great..

 

And here's another one:

 

ENTROPY

To reach his chicken radon cannon.

 

Edited November 1, 2004 by Hazor

[sirdan]

SirDan: because it can

[Cicero]

Joshu: mu

[Roja]

LOOOL..those are great

[jakoblin]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

funny got my ribs split must hurry to hospital really

[goatsgomoo]

Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

I thought there was an Iraqi information minister one...oh well...

[Cicero]

Iraqi information minister: That's not a chicken. If there was a chicken, it wouldn't be crossing the road.

[jjk]

James: to get to the other si..no...i don't care...

[Tumaros]

It seems they've forgotten one:

 

TUMAROS

There is no chicken.

[Hazor]

James Bond:

The chicken did not cross the road, it sat AFK in the middle of the road for 3 days, Then, after being hit by a car, was shaken, not stirred.

 

 

..* Suddenly realizes how few people will find the humor in that*

Edited November 2, 2004 by Hazor

[shasso]

TUMAROS

There is no chicken.

[xavier1]

Bush : Becuase they have WOMD and they harbor terroist....

Ummm well they really don't, but we are going to stay on the other side

of the road anyway.

[goatsgomoo]

James Bond:

The chicken did not cross the road, it sat AFK in the middle of the road for 3 days, Then, after being hit by a car, was shaken, not stirred.

 

 

..* Suddenly realizes how few people will find the humor in that*

*Wonders how anybody could not find the humour in that.*

[Grum]

Because Canada was on the other side of the road...

[Hellinon]

Cannada hates us

[007]

James Bond:

The chicken did not cross the road, it sat AFK in the middle of the road for 3 days, Then, after being hit by a car, was shaken, not stirred.

rofl :lol: :lol: :lol:

*dodges car*

[Rya]

Did the chicken cross the road? Or was it his brother or maybe his friend.. maybe the chicken could cross the raod cause it had an illegal client named donal duck who was not a chicken. Whichever way it was i think the chicken should be Banned !!!!!!!!! then throw some duck sauce on him and feed him to meh!!

[Entropy]

Sean Hannity:

This is just... just *sigh* The chicken tryed to use forged documents, that's how dispearate the chickens are this days! How low can they sink that they have to cross the road? Don't they have any morals and values anymore? Do you want this chickens to lead our country? It takes George Bush's clarity, morality and leadership to save this country.

[xavier1]

COBOL PROGRAMMER

 

0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.

IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN

PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD

VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL

ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE

ELSE

GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

 

Gilligan and the Skipper

The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross.

If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost,

the chicken would be lost.

 

Sigmund Freud

 

The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on

which the cross walk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she

was envious, selbstverstaendlich.

 

Sir Isaac Newton

 

Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

 

Louis Farrakkan

It wasn't one chicken, you lying white devils! It was TEN MILLION chickens!

[Grum]

Fortran programmer:

SUBROUTINE CROSS(RDLEN)

IMPLICIT REAL*8 (AH,OZ)

COMMON/CHKEN/STPLEN,CHPOS

NSTP=1+(RDLEN-1)/STPLEN

DO 10 ISTP=1,NSTP

CHPOS = CHPOS+ISTP*STPLEN

10 CONTINUE

END

[Mauler]

the chiken crossed the road to reach the toilet... he needed to go there to see where the other cocks were hanging out...

[007]

Arnold Governator:

Terminate that puny little girly chicken!

[Lyanna]

Shouldn't it be:

It came with me because it wanted to live.

 

-Lyn-