One For Ent.

[p0tn00dle]

This is totaly off topic but i thought entropy might appreciate it.........

 

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of Peter at the Pearly

> Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

>

> He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

>

> St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a

> Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.

>

> "Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?"

>

> That's Nelson Mandela's. The hands have never moved, indicating that he

> never told a lie.

>

> "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?

>

> "St. Peter responded," That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have

> moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.

>

> "Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.

>

> "Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

[Wolf_Lord]

ROFLMFAO OMg that's great, thanks for the laugh

 

NeoSeS

[fred_penner]

funny.

[jakoblin]

funny

[Aepox]

 

 

roflmfao XD

[kat]

:lol: LOL :lol:

[Platyna]

Oh finally the USA joke which was funny.

 

Regards.

[scarr]

whats a ceiling fan

[Platyna]

You know what you have on your CPU? It is simmilar thing but bigger and it is hanged to your ceiling

(that what you have above your head while sitting in a room) and it is cooling you during heat.

 

Regards.

[duran]

now that gives a new meaning to the term spin city

[Entropy]

Great joke

I guess Limbaugh's clock is used in conjunction with a magnet and coil to provide all the electricity in heaven

[scarr]

lmao i understand it now

[Ladybugs_rule]

That's ok, God's fan is powered by the second hand alone on John Kerry's clock.

[Ladybugs_rule]

I've got a better joke!

 

I would like to introduce myself.......

 

I am John Kerry.

 

I was against the first Iraq war. I am against the second Iraq war, but I voted for it. Now I'm against it but I was for it. I support the UN. I'm against ism and against the Iraq war. But I voted for the Iraq war. So, I voted against the first war and supported the second war, wait.....

 

I'm against gay marriage but for gay unions. I support gays but think the San Francisco mayor is wrong. I support gay marriages. No, wait, gay unions.

 

I'm Catholic. Wait, I'm Jewish. My dad was Jewish. But I was raised Catholic. What am I? I don't want to confuse people.

 

I am for abortions, but wait, I'm Catholic, and Catholics are pro-life. But I might consider putting pro-life judges in office, but I'm not sure. I do know I voted for a pro-life judge, but I stated that it was a mistake.

 

I went to Vietnam. But I was against Vietnam. I testified against fellow U.S. Troops in Vietnam, threw my medals away and led others to do the same. But I am a war hero. Against the war.

 

I stated I threw my medals away then I threw my ribbons away. I then revealed that I threw my ribbons away but not my medals, then lately I stated that I threw someone else's medals away and never threw anything of mine away.

 

I believe Ribbons and medals aren't the same thing. Medals come with ribbons, so now I believe that ribbons and medals are the same thing besides the fact that ribbons are cloth and medals are medal.

 

I wrote a book that pictured the U.S. Flag upside-down on its cover. But now I fly and campaign in a plane with a large flag right-side up on it. But sometimes, we fly upside-down for fun.

 

Yasser Arafat is a hero and a statesman. The Israelis shouldn't kill Palestinian ists, but they should stop ism. Yasser Arafat is a ist supporter. I support Mideast peace.

 

I am for the common man, unlike Bush. I am against the rich. But my family is worth $300 million dollars has a jet and many SUV's. I am the common man.

 

I am against sending jobs overseas. My wife is a Heinz heir, which Heinz has most factories offshore. I am against rewarding companies for exporting jobs as long as it is not Heinz.

 

I own $1 million in Wal-Mart stock. I believe Wal-Mart is evil by driving small business owners out of town. I am a capitalist and I own part of Wal-Mart but I am a good guy for small corporate America.

 

I own SUV's when I talk to my followers in Detroit, Michigan, Teresa owns SUV's, I don't, when I talk to "tree-hugging" followers. I have a campaign jet that gets 1/3 mpg, which is great fuel efficiency.

 

I am against making military service an issue in presidential elections. I defended a draft dodger Clinton and stated that all serve in their own capacity whether they draft dodge or not. Did I mention, I served in Vietnam and am a hero? Are you questioning my patriotism? I served in Vietnam. My opponent didn't. I have three purple hearts! I am a hero. I am qualified to run this country since I served....those 4 months, which seemed like a lifetime!!!

 

I am John Kerry. (What you see is what you get).

 

.....and remember, my initials are JFK, but I'm not John Fitzgerald Kennedy!!! .... (but right now I wish I was!!!)

 

 

THERE'S A REASON WHY WE WEAR FLIP-FLOPS ON OUR FEET!

[MikeH]

hi im bush

 

i assigned a convicted homosexual a prejudice lawyer who didnt support his client one bit and he was pretty tired so he fell asleep during the trial, but i had that little queer executed even though he got no say in his own fair trial!!! that little bastard

 

Also 2 underage mentally handicapped kids were convicted, but you know... even though they had no idea what they were doing and were just kids, i had em executed... cuz im a big boy

 

I like to be hypocritical and spend billions of dollars on studying the porduction of wmod, but at the same time, i tell the whole world they are evil. tehehehehehe. Also my vice president made millions and mbillions making deals with Sadam hussein, tehehe i also told the world hes evil!!! Tehehehehehe im a tricky guy aint i?

 

But you know, being a president is tough, so i took 250+ days off. Oh whats that? You only get 9 days off a year? Well... then i'll just have to tax you more

 

And i only put us into a 400+ billion dollar debt

 

I got a C average in college and arrested three whole times!!!!

 

I got baseball team too so im a cool guy

 

heh.... i also like to lie to america, you know this one time... hehehee... one time i told them i was going into war for this dude called Osama bin laden, hehehe but when we almost had him i made up this game where you grab your penis with one hand and stick your other hand over your eyes and run in circles!!!! And we never got him!! ahahahha!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: im such a jokester!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: hehehe. So what i did is put on my FLIP FLOPS and went after Sadam hussein (and his oil facilities but shhh its a secret) and... heh get this part!!! i told them to become a democracy!! and now we are making them do it!!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee. FLorida sent them some voting machines so we're all set

 

Im george bush and my daddy said i cna do anything i put my mind too

 

[Entropy]

My name is Dubaya.

 

I promised that I will never engage USA in Nations Building, yet the first day I came to the White House I called my staff and told them to find reasons to invade Iraq.

I am also a Christian, but I don't follow Christ's teachings. Namely, I don't understand the phrase: "and forgive our tresspassings as we forgive those who tresspass against us". I also don't understand the concept: "with the same measure you judge with that measure you will be judged". So I try to put my religious beliefs into your laws.

Then I say I am "pro life", but while I was a governor my state had the record of executions.

Oh, and while we are at it, I also killed 50K people in Iraq, at least 10K of them being non combatant civilians. We also liberated two wedding parties, one in Afganistan and one in Iraq. One missile at a time.