Post your jokes like these one's ;)

[HolyDragon]

hehe these jokes are funny/weird hope you like them.

 

A few weeks ago I became religious, i started praying to God for a candy bar once when I was hungry. I closed my eyes and focused on "God, I NEED a candy bar, amen" I tried this a few more times and quickly came to realize God didn't work that way. So I went down to the local market and stole a candy bar then prayed for God's forgiveness.

 

A man needed to go on a long voyage, so he went to the local priest and asked if he could borrow the church mule to take his bags. The priest said "Sure, but you must remember, it is a Holy mule... to make it go you say thank the lord, to make it stop: Amen." So keeping this in mind the man started off his journey by saying "Thank the Lord". He quickly fell asleep in the tiring sun and when he woke up he was three inches from the edge of a cliff, 'AMEN AMEN AMEN" he shouted... the mule stopped then the man said *whew* "Thank the Lord."

 

Last one: A kid named John had terrible grades... especially in math. He had B's, C's, and an occasional D or F in the other grades but in math F,F,F,F,F all year long. So his parents decided they would try a catholic school and see if his grades went up, after a year was up and his math grade was all A's his parents became curious and asked John "Why did your math grade raise so quickly this year" and John replied "Well when I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign i knew they were getting serious" (sorry if this joke might offend you ;( i am catholic and i dont take any offense in it, if someone finds it offensive post and i will take it off)

 

 

 

Well hope you liked those jokes... i would love it if some people could post story jokes back ))

[ville-v]

Actually I have heard them already in the cradle

[Mikie]

A blonde went to take flying lessons, but they told her they were short-handed and she would have to fly by herself in a helicopter and they would give her instructions by radio. So she started out great and they told her to fly up to 1000 feet. She made it successfully, so they said go up to 2000 feet. Then suddenly the helicopter crashed to the ground. They quickly got to the wreckage and pulled her out and asked what happened. She said that she got cold so she turned off the big fan, and after that she didn’t know what happened.

[Feromor]

( i am catholic and i dont take any offense in it, if someone finds it offensive post and i will take it off)

 

Actually, I do find it offensive (I am Presbyterian). Not that I don't believe God has a sense of humor, but I think it stops at being sacrilegious. Thank you for your consideration.

 

Also, this topic may be redundant, because I started an identical one several days ago in this same forum. Why not merge the two, but instead stick to jokes of a less religious nature?

[Ateh]

would you please stop being offended it makes you sound really boring ( i am pagan )

Edited January 18, 2011 by Ateh

[Zaer]

You know the number one cause of paedophilia?

 

Sexy kids.

Edited January 18, 2011 by Zaer

[bigkav]

You know the number one cause of paedophilia?

 

Sexy kids.

I lol'd

[eagleprince]

You know the number one cause of paedophilia?

 

Sexy kids.

I lol'd

Actually Kavvie., I don't think that is a joke.

 

It's an unfortunate reflection of society, unless you're from one of those morally-upstanding countries such as the US!

 

One of my friends used to say that she loves the cold of winter because it makes people think twice before walking around with 70%+ of their total skin area on show.

[Feromor]

would you please stop being offended it makes you sound really boring ( i am pagan )

 

I have three things to say to this.

 

1. HolyDragon was considerate enough to offer to remove this joke, seeing as it possessed potentially offensive content, so for you to ask me stop being offended is really irrelevant and none of your buisness.

2. This is a joke thread, if you have a problem with me being offended either pm me or post it in the abuse forum.

3. You really have not said anything meaningful or worthwhile that supports your statement that I am "boring". You have merely claimed that I am "boring", which tells us all that you are immature, and that whatever does not amuse you, you scoff at.

[Zaer]

Which part of a vegetable can't you eat?

 

The wheelchair.

[Wizzy]

If we can not use common sense to tell 1/2 funny jokes that are not insulting, and break game rule #3 then we dont get to post jokes on forums,