Mister_Q Report post Posted May 18, 2005 (edited) this is for the storyline-contest, before you all have comments on it--> I know it is Lame the creature of white stone I’m walking through white stone On my bare feet This is the land where so many people meet I know I’m not alone What is that smell It smells like something from a well This creature in my sight Is that the thing who roams the night Suddenly the creature sprung up in the sky This is hard to believe but this isn’t a lie I grabbed my almighty sword And attacked After a fierce battle the thing collapsed The moon revealed itself from behind the clouds And the sight opened my mouth Did I really defeat the gargoyle with only my sword Has it really gone this fast It has to be, because I gave the king my word Now the land is save again and the newbs will last The end Edited May 18, 2005 by Spruit Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Quinticus Report post Posted May 18, 2005 Looking good! Your entry has been noted. Thank you for your participation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brom Report post Posted May 24, 2005 Excellent work! I could not do better but if you want advice, Ill give you what I see. Its clean, no spelling errors I found, with the exception of capitalization, you may want to consider capitalizing your title. but that is up to you. Also, the line in the second to last stanza, its fine how it is, but you might want to add a little more because it disrupts the flow (just what I see) And attacked And with a great force, attacked Something along those lines. this is for the storyline-contest, before you all have comments on it--> I know it is Lame Dont belittle your work, I enjoyed it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ttlanhil Report post Posted July 18, 2005 it's been converted and will be added to the list shortly. if you have any changes to make, contact quinticus or myself before 1.0.2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites