conavar

Totally understand . I wrote the story as someone who has played the game for over a year ,forgetting that the stories might be read by people who have only just or never played.I took it for granted being on the EL forum ppl would understand I would like that thankyou and if its possible and time permitting I would like to continue the story of my character as well

Like I mentioned in my original reply to your editing .You havent taken to many liberties in anyway. It all about THE story being better not MY story. If i wasnt open to change and critisism then i never would have posted the story in the first place. As long as any comments are constructive ( which they all have been thanx again) then it is fine How to explain what im trying say ermm Im not someone who take his story/work and treats it like a baby ,wrapped in cotton wool to keep it safe from outside influences.Its there to be made better by who ever can .so I take the critisism in the good way it was ment. Have I given up on the story, no I havent but I cant see how myself can make this part of the story any better. Maybe its myself who takes a few liberties with what I know as the writer and what I want the reader to know .As see you point about the outlaws and praying but to me what he would have prayed about was not important it was why he didnt if that makes sense The outlaws could be classed as THE main thread but I see it as Conavar himself is the main thread ( Roja ask for storys about our characters as examples , so I tried to keep it firmly based on the man and not get jumbled trying to explain all his abilities, skills etc in one short story ). Your Help and comments have been greatly appreciated Phil so thankyou

You should probably have said essences then, that would make more sense, plus it's better to have more relational objects present in your story, so the story is more easily viewed as being from EL. Point taken just me trying to make it more interesting than just " he take's out 5 health and 3 death essences to cast a harm spell " <<< maybe me but i think thats lazy story telling .Stories are best in my opinion if u can visualize what is happened rather than just being told. Which is why i took the look of the Essences from the game ( health = rainbow ) and the amount and left the rest to peoples imagination ( I tried to tell the story from the view of what the character would know not what I know as a player ), if that didnt work then im sorry but felt at the time made a better story. but it was my first attempt in 13 years (im old ),you asked for people to submit there work and was only really ment to show what I can write ( not perfect by anymeans i know ).So if its not the type of thing you are looking for then that is fine , I will take the critisism in the way it was ment and say thankyou I learnt a lot Help alot though having someone else read it and add there own lil take on it Edit : Maybe I suffer from trying over complicate the story thats not for me to judge

I've taken a few liberties with your original text hoping to make it easier to read That is fine.The story was just an example of how I can write,It was not perfect by any means and any suggestions that help the story flow etc are always welcome.If I write a story and people edit it to be better then fine ,Its about a good story not about me lol. Theres a few things that maybe I wouldnt have changed in the way you have but thats just down to the odd word here and there but thats personel preferance: The only one I defiantly wouldnt change is : thanking them for this moment of stillness and reflection for no reason apart from that in my mind he would have prayed to the God because of what was going to happen ( outlaws ) not for the stillness. The stones : I took a few liberties with the EL world >The stones are 5 health essences and 3 Death and when combined together make a HARM spell . I didnt just want to write " He cast's a harm spell " I tried to visually interpret it. hope it worked Thanx for the help . I know im not perfect at this so any help is appreciated Thankyou.

Edited the parts you pointed out and like you said more than likely more, and can totaly understand now why editing/proof reading is normaly done by someone other than the author.To me having read it so many times it reads ok but to an outside mind they will find the mistakes a lot easier . Myself I cant see them for looking at them now . To get it spot on it needs an outside influence to pick up little mistake I have missed ( and there will be some because Im not perfect ) Edit: Ran it through spell checker again and it picked up a few more grammatical errors these have been changed .

Ok Edited the Story to the best of my ability but I have read it that many times now I proberly cant see the woods for the tree's . Hope It reads a little better Thanx lightning

ok Ive printed a copy off, so I will sort ( to the best of my abilities ) the grammar and punctuation tomorrow thanks for the comments helped alot

Excuse me if your thought I was being funny I wasnt and I appologize for any mistake On a side note as I have said a differance in spellings between UK and USA most notably colour/neighbours and color/neighbors . Now being microsoft my spell check is American would you prefer spellings in American ?

no problem comment on the spell checker thats a valid point but also remember the differance in spellings ie: being English i write colour/neighbours while Americans write color /neighbors but thanks for your comments (note: spell checker ) And periods equal full stops ? am i correct . < fullstop Edit: quickly ran it through spell check ( omg I am thick )

Rangers Cloak: Price: 15k Colour: Brown & Green Description: Nullifies the effect of adverse conditions.Immune to all Enviromental Damage cold,heat,radiation Dragon Cloak: Price: 50k Colour: White with Red Dragon heraldry Description: Gives Monster Magnetisism Against the Dragon Holy Order Cloak: Price: 12k Colour: Black with white Cross Description: Gives added 5% xp to all skills that gain gods xp IE: completed gods quests in Att and magic,Cloak gives 5% more xp in them skills Wraith Cloak: Price: 7k Colour: Pale Blue Description: Gives the evanescence perk to wearer Guild Cloaks: I know it is possible for players to buy Cloaks From the Devs .I think the price is $100 to have them implemented in game ( correct me if im wrong) It be nice if a guild had the option to do that . Pay $100 for a guild design cloak (to have it programmed) then proberly a fee of $1-$5 per cloak bought. It would add more diversity amongst EL and hopefully generate more money for the Devs.(who wouldnt have to programme anything till paid) EG : Thor guild : Cloak emblazoned with Thors hammer on the back

Thats better idea penni then keeps in with the RPG and story element as well should me made though if you renouce the God the cloak disapears

"Holy" would imply that the cross has religious significance with at least one of EL's goddesses and gods (actually all if it's supposed to affect all gods you serve). Please explain On the effect: you already get extra experience when you completed the quests for a god you serve... would be a bit much to get even more on top of that for only 12k (or 120k for that matter). The Cross is an example . Its gives a visual referance to the idea the final design/heraldry isnt an issue it could be a Unicorn for all it mattered On the effect: you already get extra experience when you completed the quests for a god you serve... would be a bit much to get even more on top of that for only 12k (or 120k for that matter). Edit: incase your wondering ive got the godless perk so wouldnt benefit me in anyway.But the suggestions are not about benefiting myself but the whole of EL from old to new Would it ? in a fighter example . do they give up there NMT cloak for an extra 5% xp

Selling the following items : Essences 5000 Life ess 5.5 gc ea ( 25k for all ) 5000 Water Ess 5 gc ea ( 23k for all ) 1000 Energy Ess 6.7 ea ( 6.5k for all ) 5000 Fire Ess 3.7 ea ( 17k for all ) 1500 Earth Ess 5.7 ea ( 8k for all ) 1000 Matter Ess 5.7 ea ( 5.5k for all ) PLz post here or pm ingame thanx

pm in game then ALL SOLD THANKYOU POST CLOSED

NEW ESSENCES ADDED See original post

Yes i know that but im i right n thinking they are only visible to the person who edited there El files and not the whole community? which is what im proposing

lmao short story from last night: Con3or was looking for a sword at WS storage so i gave him a free irno broad sword and he asked to add me to his friends list ,which we do. Next think PM from krius : "Con3or is a friend of mine scam or hurt him in any way and i will hunt you down" Before i even looked at his stats I laughed and after well nearly fell off my chair moral of this story ermm if Krius is a friend of con3or nice way to treat your mates ,and seriously have fun and a joke but to post it = sad Chosen they in IDK guild

Yeah I know you was joking, but he asked why a PS2 disc can hold more data than a CD, I answered him - PS2 is DVD not CD. PS2 are both some games are DVD some are CD depending on game size and age

If the informtion is on both sides of the Cd this will work like a doudle sided DVD and has to be manually flipped over but most Cds/DvD's are multi layered nowadays , how the laser reads the differant layers and knows which layer to read then personally i havent a clue ( I know how a DvD works but not that technically), Im sure a Web search on how the laser works/reads discs would help Howstuffworks.com

maybe a break rate of about 3% is right and its what they break on the needs to be adjusted.maybe they would be better if they only had a chance to break on Radon damage and collapse damage

No worries.As you have proberly come to understand now im an Aethist but that doesnt make my views right.As a non-believer,heritic whatever you would like to call me lol (j/k) I have had many interesting conversations with work collegues/freinds etc who do have beliefs of one kind or another and I just thought it would be a nice off-topic subject to talk about and to give people a forum to air there views. Im not looking for salvation/redemption or even God and I very much doudt unless im struck by lightning and hear a booming voice I will ever be a Believer but that is my choice and any one with faith in any god i take my hat of to,I believe that is there choice as well and who am I to say they are wrong. When I started this post I hoped it wouldnt get flamey or Preachy I just wanted ppl to tell why they beleived one way or the other from a personel view point with out the bible bashing or flame from aethists.As others have written many have found god but aslo some have lost faith and its interesting to her both accounts. To be honest this post has been more popular than i thought it would be and thanx to everyone for that,its nice sometimes to be able to have a serious debate about things not game related and to get ppl views from around the world.

Atlantis made some good points about short term goals but if you make them goals to fit into your long term scheme then you will still be ever moving forward take Atlantis hydro bars for example: To raise you Harv : Harv Fe ingrediants and Metal Bar ingrediants Alch : make the bars and essences you will need for steel two edged swords Manu: make the swords etc . make the short term goals fit into the bigger picture

As well as being a medieval setting EL is also magical ,so any idea are easily explained away Landmines : magic induced Fe's in a Jar << I know simple and basic answer but an example of magical world not everything has to be explained in modern days science

Joining a guild is a good option sooner rather than later for the simple reason 90% of the time someone is online to offer advice and help (and also helps during the long long Harv sessions to have a laugh and a joke with fellow guild members) Edit: And Welcome to EL .The game is good but the community makes it great apart from the few F** idiots lol ,

80/80 a/d couldnt stnad toe to toe with some of the top players now let alone how far they have advanced when you reach this point. anyway thats beside the point .My only advice really is you've got your goal . STICK TO IT dont get sidetracked and most of all have fun doing it Good luck Edit: Try and keep your character as flexible as possible ,to take adantage of the special days ie: keep Phy,coord and will up to take advantage of fighting days: day of sun tzu etc. A wont comment on the Stats you need for being a proper Pker(if thats one of your goals) but im sure a Pker will help you out there.