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A Strange New Life


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#1 dawench

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 04:43 AM

A Strange New Life

She sat confused, huddled in on herself beside a roaring campfire. She had no idea how she had come to this strange land full of strange people. She didn’t even know who she was. Her mind was blank. She softly wept, her misery and loneliness apparent to the hulking figure on the other side of the fire. He rose to his full height and moved to sit beside her. She grew anxious as he sat. Something about his long snow white hair pierced by sky-blue horns filled her with dread. She was sure she had never seen anyone like him before. As she looked at him a name came to her, “Torix”. She wasn’t sure how she knew this but she was sure that this was his name.

“What frets you little human?” he asked in a booming voice.

“I don’t know. Everything is so strange. I don’t where I am. I don’t know who I am,” she sobbed loudly as she burst into tears.

A look of understanding crossed his saturnine visage.

“Ease your mind little human,” he told her. “You are new here and know not the ways of Draia.”

Puzzled she asked, “Draia?”

He laughed heartily, the sound rumbling out of his chest and washing in waves over her.

“Draia is the planet you are on. It is actually a moon. But still we Draians like to call it a planet. You are on Isla Prima which is one of the territories of the continent of Seridia. All people new to Draia first appear on Isla Prima.”

“But how did I get here? Why me??” the young human asked.

He frowned in puzzlement and then responded, “It matters not who or what you were. All that matters is you are here now and what you will become is up to you. To know your past you must go and speak to Lasud. She can tell you how to discover what you were. Before you do that you would be wise to speak to The Wraith and to Tutorial NPC. They will start you on your new life.” He paused for a moment and then smiled at her.

She sat there wondering which of the many questions she had to ask him. He suddenly stood up and seemed to be staring at something over her head. She looked up but saw nothing. His eyes widened and he leant over her.

“I’m sorry but I must go. There is a massive invasion on Irillion and my guild calls to me for aid in the battle. Go now and talk to The Wraith and to Tutorial NPC. Any questions you have will be answered if you just speak them out loud.” He smiled at her and then slipped a ring on his finger. With a flash of swirling light he disappeared.

“Invasion?? What invasion?” the young human asked aloud.

Like a lightening bolt the knowledge of what the invasion was filled her mind.

“Where is The Wraith?” she queried.

An image of a ghostly figure flashed through her brain as well as coordinates. Her feet moved and she walked directly to The Wraith.

She spoke to The Wraith and he called her “Enera”. At last she knew her name. After talking to The Wraith, Enera felt stronger and wiser. She turned from his spectral presence and saw close by the one called Tutorial NPC. He sent her on quests to find flowers and to hunt small animals and to scout out the nearby land. As she learned and grew stronger she came to love her new home. Standing on the boat sailing for Whitestone, she smiled widely and her eyes gleamed with excitement as she began her strange new life.

#2 Roja

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Posted 22 June 2008 - 04:24 PM

Hi,

This is pretty well written. You can have a chance at writing an official story, just keep in mind though that the story world is separate from the game world. You wouldn't describe game type things as they are for a real story-such as your references to invasions, coordinates, etc..



She didn’t even know who she was. Her mind was blank.


You have to watch out for incomplete sentences. There's a few places like this, and you should combine them or change it to something else:
She didn’t even know who she was, her mind was blank.

#3 dawench

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Posted 23 June 2008 - 06:55 AM

Thanks very much for the feedback. I'll keep what you said in mind and try again :pinch:




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