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wenyadur

ghosts in the trees

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He placed the flowers at the doorstep, he knocked and then he went away. There were days when it was not enough to tell her in his heart how much he loves her... Would the goddess find a way to her? to bring her joy? He did not risk to ask. He hoped.

After a while, the tree temple having remained far behind, he slowed down. He had to stop working that day (nothing went right anymore...) and now... now that he felt as if releaved of a burden, he would not rush back.

He felt... a strange humming inside... like his heart, exhausted by that last effort, has earned the right to rest and now it was dreaming... Slowly, the humming grew deeper as if it was repeated by more and more voices. It seemed familiar, like there were once words matched to it. The trees, in their stillness, echoed of a memory from long ago that had lost its meaning...

A deer stopped and looked at him. He tried not to startle her and leaned slowly onto a nearby tree. They stood like that for a while... And then, as the deer went her way, a feeling took over him, that he was supposed to belong to that place.

...He did not grow like the other elves. He did not learn the bow, he did not join in their games. He spent most of his time alone, in the shadows. He knew he was different. And the forest knew. It did not teach him how to take his place in this world. Instead, it always called to something beyond him, with voices and lights that first he played with, then he struggled to free himself from, but he never did understand... He thought he has left all these behind. What did the forest want now?

The heart turned in its sleep. It was smiling... All he had to do is be there, in those dreams that surrounded him with magic. And he believed in this happiness as in a promise... But that was not what he grew into. And the way to the dreams that disappointed has been lost. Yet... a part of him is still there, waiting to be realized... holding him back... or in this life... A sigh passed through the leaves.

So... he failed, then? ...No ...He loved her, all those years, from the distance, even if she did not care... He pushed himself away from the tree, but he could not walk.

The humming had stopped and out of a deep, dreamless sleep, a thin silence begun to spread through the woods, like a web. The face of the trees darkened. And as the corners of his vision drew closer and closer, he felt the weight of the need to be loved sinking in on him...

...It was her... A gentle touch led his lowered sight up through the branches. In the distance, the white walls of Aluwen's temple shined in the light of the setting sun... Do you remember? ...Sparks and rays of the glitter entered his eyes to rekindle that moment of heaven when he fell in love...It was her...it was her that love was all about...

It can still be... And he said her name. And once more. And again. Against not having been and not being enough, her name, and against what he knew and against what he knew not, her name, and against his life and his hopes and himself, again and again. Until there was only her...

What was this new dream growing among their kind? Behind the leaves and the twigs and in the hollows, the magic gathered to look at him. Some touched it, some called the dream in their language. But it was no dream. It was real. As real as he was. It was him.

It was a sun at the edge of dusk, warm and gentle and still shining, while the shadows grew longer and longer, overcoming his world. And one step after another, the forest was slowly letting him go, to lead the way...

Edited by wenyadur

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