Here is a copy of the text I used for today's event for those that didn't get to read it.
William Shakespeare had a working vocabulary of nearly 30k words. Today's modern millennial has a vocabulary of 2000 words. The game is afoot.
Harkin thine ear unto me and I shall enlighten thou with the most dreadful of tidings. Creatures of no small number, I can be sure to tellest thou.
Both great and minuscule in stature hath left domicile of home and hearth. To wit all thoughts of peace and tranquility long forgotten.
In a rage, with madness and great furor, these beastly brutens hath stormed, plundered and rapine the encompassing surroundings.
Shouts, cries and vociferation of no small boisterousness arose from the inhabitant plebeians abiding in yonder purlieu.
My comrades, friends and acquaintances of both considerable and scant faculty at blade and buckler, prepare thine selves for hostilities.
Take to accoutrements and armaments to gird thy loin, breast and cerebrum. Gather weapons to hack, maim and slay. Potions and ointments for healing.
To the arid deserted wastes tho must traverse. This sadist of savage will be with great number bereft crest and crown.
Thos of lesser proficiency, say three score twice and a bit. To the forested district of Aeth Aelfan, carrying no fewer articles to battle said beasts.
Take care brothers and sisters of my bosom, such beasts may arise where least expected. Your flight to safety may deposit you in more peril.
and the millennial said: Wat?