SleepyDragon Report post Posted January 5, 2008 There once was a goblin called Bob Who was known as a bit of a slob He was all green and smelly and as for his belly! Well a diet would do just the job. Now Bob had a girlfriend called Sheila A bit of a sly wheeler dealer She thought of a plan, to sort out her 'man' (with the help of a little tequila) She invented a new fangled diet But she wanted to keep her plan quiet Till she'd have what she'd need to sate her Bob's greed And until she was ready to try it. So Sheila got writing at once A list of what Bob had to hunt. Fresh human and elf - not stale from the shelf and a dwarf (tho not some little runt) She needed to stock up her larder, The next few would be a bit harder. An orchan, a gnome who were far from their home, She thought they would make a good starter. So after much mumbling and moaning Bob started his search, tummy groaning The human died quick As he fell on his pick. his blood all frothing and foaming. Bob next went in search of an elf and found one with very low health. He killed it with ease as it sat among leaves harving flowers to increase it's wealth. And so to the next on his list. A Dwarf with more muscle and fists it took a bit longer, but Bob was much stronger And killed it in just a few hits. And now's when his problems will start as he hunts for the gnome with a heart that will fill him with food that tastes really good without ripping his body apart. Bob hunted all through the dark night searching places with very low light, till he found what he needed, and so he proceeded to start on his very last fight. The gnome she was wily and fast and her magic, was so quick to cast it didn't take long Bob could feel his strength gone as he breathed out his breath at the last. My story has come to an end and I wish I could only pretend, that our old friend Sheila and her bottle of tequila, her old ways she soon learned to mend. Alas it is not really true so just between us, me and you, when you see a fem gob with an ex she called Bob Just hope she gets eaten by grue. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jezebelle Report post Posted January 5, 2008 wow, thats good!! I enjoyed it and laghed through it all..VERY well written!! Jez Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enly Report post Posted January 5, 2008 (edited) Nice job Sleepy I like it, a smooth enjoyable read I'm not sure if your intent was to make every stanza a limerick (because its very similar to limerick form), in which case I might have a few critiques on it. But it does work very well as just a free verse poem Edited January 5, 2008 by Enly Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roja Report post Posted January 6, 2008 haha, that's a fun rhyme/poem, good job and as for his belly! Well a diet would do just the job. Wouldn't the ! be at the end of the last sentence and a common after belly? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suncie Report post Posted January 6, 2008 Ut oh, tequila Sheila ! Well done Sleepy, really enjoyed it. tehehehe poor Bob Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sywren Report post Posted January 6, 2008 I love the poem, and I love that it was done in limericks. It was a good choice because it keeps the lighthearted, silly tone of the poem. Nice job! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SleepyDragon Report post Posted January 6, 2008 Thanks for the feedback everyone. Glad you enjoyed it. I haven't written anything for a number of years and have never made anything public before so it's nice that it made people smile. Nice job Sleepy I like it, a smooth enjoyable read I'm not sure if your intent was to make every stanza a limerick (because its very similar to limerick form), in which case I might have a few critiques on it. But it does work very well as just a free verse poem Each verse was intended to be in limerick form and I know that some of the rhythm in a couple of verses doesn't quite fit. I put the story over exactitude towards the end. Roja' Posted Today, 04:10 PM haha, that's a fun rhyme/poem, good job smile.gif and as for his belly! Well a diet would do just the job. Wouldn't the ! be at the end of the last sentence and a common after belly? The exclamation mark was put in to emphasise the size of the belly and the diet was the solution rather than emphasising both things which putting an exclamation mark at the end would have done. (I think) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RunTime Report post Posted January 6, 2008 (edited) lol very nice SD Edited January 6, 2008 by RunTime Share this post Link to post Share on other sites