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A work in progress

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Ok, i know that some of you already seen this, not the whole thing of course, but roja told me to put it here so i can have some help with it. I NEED editors! My grammer is horrible! So, if i can have maybe 1 or 2 ppl help me out as i go along with the story, i would really apperciate it! thx, and here it is!




Chapter 1

An Important Notice


“Wuutta? Where are you? This isn’t funny! We have just received an urgent letter council of the Most High!†Lady Subaru screamed at the top of her lungs as she was getting frustrated. Lady Subaru had long beautiful lustrous hair that rolled down on her back unto her hips. She almost looked like an elven princess how frail and skinny she was. Although she is human. Some say she had a great, great ancestor who was half-elven, but no one really knows. Lady Subaru continued to look for her younger brother and was getting to the point of giving up. Even at the age of 30 they still fought.

“Why must I live with such a pest!†Moaned Lady Subaru. There was a little rustle in the tall oak trees. It must be a silly squirrel thought Lady Subaru.

“AHHH!!†screamed a voice that came out of no where. That no where turned out to be right in front of her. Lady Subaru rushed over to see who it was who fell out of the tall oak. It was no other than her pesky 28 yr old brother.

“So, what do you have to say for yourself?†asked Lady Subaru who was leaning over Wuuttaa.

“Ouch?†he asked.

“So I see,†Lady Subaru put out her hand to help her brother up. About half way up she let him go, and he landed with another loud thump. “Serves you right to have fallen out of that tree. You’re just lucky you didn’t break an arm or a leg.†No sooner than she turned her back she ended up being flat on her face.

“Hahaha,†Wuttaa laughed histaricly. “Here you missed a spot,†Wuuttaa picked up a pile of dirt and shoved it in her face.

“Why you little-



Chapter 2

The Council of Most High


“I thank you all for coming at this time of great distress,†said Roja. “I find this a very difficult time in Eternal Lands. We must find a way to stop this great evil that has been destroy Eternal Lands.†There were a couple frightful glances and confused looks around the large courtyard.

“Then we must attack it at once, I shall summon troops from all over Eternal Lands!†shouted Tornado, one of the Captains.

“I wish it were that simple, but it’s not,†sighed Roja. “That’s why I have planned to summon four brave adventurers.†People started to shout and talk about the matter that Roja had put down on them.

“Silence! I will not tolerate this in this courtyard!†A loud booming voice shouted. It was Entropy. Some say he has powers like the gods, others say that he summoned this great power from the underworld. He was always known to do peculiar things in the world of Eternal Lands. “Now please, let the lady speak!â€

“Thank you entropy; as I was saying the reason why I have chosen four adventurers, is because sending an army after this would cause too many deaths.

“So you would rather just loose them over an army?†asked Whitediablo, another Captain. “That doesn’t seem very wise just sending four people after this great evil, they would probably just get killed sooner then any of us would.â€

“You are fools, you need to start using your minds!†Entropy snickered.

“Please Entropy,†Roja sighed. “The reason why I picked four people and only four is because they would be able to protect each other unlike a huge army. Less people means more commonsense, and less confusion.â€

“Alright, I see your point Roja, but please enlighten us about the people you have summoned,†said Ogerawa, the highest mage.

“I’d be happy to, once they arrive,†answered Roja. “For now, just enjoy the wait and you’re welcome to have some meat and wine that I had especially made for this occasion.â€


Chapter 3

A Stranger and an Old Dwarf


Djv slumped himself into a nice comfy chair in the crowded tavern at Grahm’s Village. He had just come back from a long journey and was very tired. He would have just simply gone back to his house, but thanks to a recent fire in the tiny village his house was left to nothing but a humping pile of ash and bits and pieces of wood. The only place that was not scorched by the burning flames was the local tavern.

No sooner than he started to doze off a fight broke out between a heavy built man and a small yet strong man.

Djv grumpily got up and out of his chair and went over to try to stop the raucous. “All right, all right, gentlemen break it up, break it up!†Djv shouted. The big man gave the smaller man one last push before he stopped.

“Who are you to tell us what to do, dwarf?†the big man asked getting ready to take a blow from the smaller man.

A gusted wind all of a sudden went through the tiny tavern sending a shiver down everyone’s spine. A mysterious hooded figure then appeared in the doorway. The only thing that was visible on the mysterious figure were his glowing eyes. So very strange were its’ eyes. He looked around the room menacingly at ever person until his eyes locked on the ancient dwarf. He stood there, glaring, as if waiting for an answer.

Djv finally pulled himself together and tries his best not to stamper. “What brings you here stranger? Why don’t you come and have a cool drink of ale?†asked Djv.

“I have not come here for a drink of ale, I have come here for you,†replied the hooded figure.

“Why? And for what reason?â€

“I have been summoned from the council of Most High to come and find you, as well as a certain mage.â€

“Why should I go with you stranger?â€

“If you’re not to leave, the world of Eternal Lands will be lost.â€

“Tell me you name, stranger.â€

“My name doesn’t concern you mortal.â€

“Alright stranger, what must I do?â€

“I would rather wait until I find that mage.â€

“What mage?†Djv started to get a bit uneasy about the mysterious person or... thing.

“It seems he will not be joining us tonight,†said the hooded figure. A piece of parchment all of a sudden appeared in the dwarves hands. “Watch for a mage who wears the red robes, when he comes give that scroll to him and read it. Remember this, the fate of Eternal Lands depends on your decision here tonight!†And with that, the strange hooded figure disappeared into the night’s darkness.

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Um.ok the last part with the dwarf..you practically quoted a specific book, might as well have just named him Flint Fireforge already :)


Try being original, roleplay with others to make up your own stories. That is a good way that many people, even great authors, come up with their own fantasy stories. And I think Eternal Lands is great for RPing with your friends :)

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ok, sry, about that. I was thinking of that certain book when i wrote that chapter, thinking it would be a good way to have two old friends meet. But i changed it. Grahm's Village is still Djv's home town, and the same is with the mage, even tho he doesn't appear in this chapter. Instead of the mage a strange hooded figure appears. I almost forgot to mention that the setting of the 3rd chapter is in the tavern.

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It's not really the spelling, it's more of the puncuation.

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The trouble with spellcheckers is that as long as a word is spelled correctly, they don't check any further. I noticed quite a few words that didn't match the context and/or were in the wrong tense, but WERE spelled correctly. :D And yes, punctuation is something to work on...but I'll edit it once it's all complete.



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Kat, this is great fun, will you be finishing it? I will be happy to edit for you although that may be a while in the future as actually compiling stories and creating a cohesive history is the main focus right now. I would be happy to go over it if you like.


Please let me know as soon as you can, making a list and checking it twice kinda thing. The completed projects will be vetted and sent on for integration while the others will be listed as abandoned.


Thanks :blink:

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