Guest Cloud9 Report post Posted July 5, 2004 All the leaders of the races sat silent around the table."We cannot keep this threat from the people of these lands", said Melanir, the leadar of the Elfs." I Agree with Melanir",said Ryou,Leader of hte Humans. " And I suppose you expect me to Trust an elf?! Well thats Unacceptalbe! I agree with but I will not die next to an Elf!", Yelled Myander, the Dwarven Leader. "I didn`t say you had to,Dwarf, I just ask you to tell the people about this Threat!", Said Melanir."Aye I will." The Leaders Then left the Inn at Portland to tell the people about the Threat. Soon the leaders all met in Isla Prima The Last place to make a speech. "Well now Looks like like we all met here so who will make the speech?", said the Dwarf. "We should roll dice for it",said Ryou. "Typical Human looking for any chance to gamble", muttered Melanir. They rolled the dice and melanir Had to make the speech. Soon every one in Isla Prima came to the Orasul Woods for annocement. "Peoples of Isla Prima", said Melanir in a Powerful voice" i regret to inform you that are lands are being covered by a dark cloud! The evil Lord Sarumir has taken over Vermor Castle and The Grubia Pennusula and is calling all evil to him! He will deystroy us all, unless we take up Arms and fight! Sarumir will stop at nothing to deystroy all of civlizations! He will attempt to kill every last Man, women, and Child who will not join him. But he forgot one thing! that the power of Humans, Elfs, Dwarvs will be too much for him! We will kill every one of his monsters if you help us fight! And we will deystroy Sarumir Himself if you just join the Army of The World!" The Crowd Cheered loudly. Then Ryou Stood up and said "there wil be a recruiter at every inn and tavern except one The Tavern at valley of the Dwarves For Sarumirs Evil has taken that inn for its recruiting and they also took the town from the Dwarves." I hope you guys liked that storyline Thank you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyanna Report post Posted July 15, 2004 Hmm...why does this story remind me so much of the Lord of the Rings? Nevertheless, I feel you've got some potential as a writer, Cloud. Your dialogue and characterisation skills are good. See if you can work up another story. I have to say that the plot for this story isn't very original or well-thought out, so I would advise you to switch to a different kind of story. Offhand, I get the feeling that if you write a short story about a band of adventurers on a quest, you'll do quite fine. Leave the big epic war stories alone until you have a better grasp of the large amounts of detail necessary. And be patient when writing. You don't have to tell your entire story in one post. You can work on it, part by part, chapter by chapter, so that you can fully flesh it out, instead of rushing through the events. Keep going! -Lyn- Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
