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zsert

short story in eternal lands by zsert

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In a small island of isle prima a small elven boy was concieved by 2 female elves. Such a wonder not even the smartest of the wizards could figure it out. Maybe a sign from a unknown god not wanting to be revealed? Such a great god, some thought. Many believed that this was a greater god coming down from the heavens looking for followers. And many elves, dwarfs, and humans abandoned their gods to serve this mighty god. But thus as they left their beliefs and became traitorous this holy god did not descend from the heavens as some prophesized. This boy that was concieved of two females did not look like a normal boy. this boy had eyes of those from a girl. His mothers thought "such a beautiful boy" and became entranced in his eyes. People from all over the world came to see this little boy and they all fell in love with him, they served him day and night and killed bunnies for him. Thus the world plunged into darkness. There was hope because a small band of warriors had the sight of aluwen who was the only person god thing that did not become entranced by this boy. The band broke in and with one swipe sliced the boy in half. "This is the end of the great darkness....." said aluwen as she spied at the house."This is only the beginning, the murder of this boy is the beginning of the end" said a mysterious voice.

to be continued...

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as aluwen turned around she was compelled to bend down at the feet of this cloaked stranger."m-m-m-my lord?...." aluwen shivered out. The cloaked figure who was wearing a black cape unveiled his face. He was a tall man boreing resembelence towards a extremely short dwarf. He had a beard and had red hair everywhere. Then she thought this man looks almost identical to redbeard the fierciest pirate in portland. He was no dwarf but redbeard was. "you are the king of light?, or have you come to laugh at this world that i have spent time shaping."no" said the man "your planet atioch is under attack by mortos, he has sent 100 thousand troops via teleportation to undergrowth. "undergrowth? That is where my worshippers pray. IMPOSSIBLE!" Aluwen gets up to her feet quite shaken of such harrowing new."take this message as you want, i am only the messenger only you can come to the aide of your people if you ignore me then atioch and even eternal land will both be conquored." And with his message sent the man just disappears, Aluwen looks around there is nothing but trees and she looks inside and the baby is still alive. She goes over to the acient house and breaks the door down with a swipe of her sword."by mother of mercy.." as she walks towards the evil hell spawn she sees him in a whole new light. He is a pure soul that she had tainted with blood. He is still alive and breathing and she takes him in, as she picks him up he calls out "mommy".

 

to be continued...

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(note from author*) i just realized a title for this story

 

it'll be

the war of the planets

 

now back to business..

 

cont.

With the boy calling her mommy she knew she could never again abandon this boy. so she put him with a family that followed aluwen and feared mortos and selain. She made sure this family was protected and sent 2 gaurds to watch over them

 

10 years later

 

Aluwen in her sleep had a dream

"where am i?"

"you are my guest aluwen god of defense and peace" roared a deep voice

"mortos?"

"no i am someone greater then that puny lord, i am zenthios god of gods"

"what?, the prophecy stated there will never be a god of gods to unite us all. We will never be united, disagreements is the way of the gods it's our only error!" shouted Aluwen as tears poured down her cheeck slowly.

"no embrace me my child i know i have been gone for many a centuries but you must never forget who i am."

"i am the god who destroyed zeus. leveled troy, and started the great portland massacre to teach the humans their errors and to try to get them to understand about our objectives as gods" whispered zenthios

Zenthios walks around her all the while whispering

"i am your father hold out your arms to embrace me, dont fight it you have tried to destroy my son, you ignored my warnings from hermont...you are too cautious your planet is getting destroyed slowly the uprisings have already started."

"w-w-w-what uprisings?" squealed aluwen

"exactly" said the giant lord slowly

And with that she wakes up fast with beads of sweat all over her face. She starts to cry her tears lit up the room, and she is gone.

She arrives at her planet and sees nothing it's barren all over. "oh father forgive my stubborness" she says under her crying. Her tears coming down like a ocean and soon in front of her, her town is back to normal the way she left it. "what the?" and a royal gaurd steps up in front of aluwen and says "my goddess what are you doing here? i thought you were going to the eternal lands to make a new planet."

"i did not.. there were races already over that world. but they were all fighting so i put an end to that but the dark lord is spreading soon over the planet. and i heard that he was massing troops over here. so what i want you to do is to ralley the army here and head towards undergrowth."

"undergrowth?" said the soldier amazedly

"yes! do i as i say now. send them there and do a search of the palace of the shrine in the ground look for orcs not goblins."

"WATCH OUT ALUWEN!" shouted the gaurd

to be cont.

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With the gaurd shouting at her to look out she automatically ducks down and a giant spear comes over her and barely misses ur head. "aluwen get over here, we must hurry before the enemy gets to our town!!"

then 50 gaurds came running down to help the one thousand that was already preparing to engage the enemy."we dont have enough troops you'll die!" shouted aluwen."but at least we will die knowing that we served u mighty goddess who gave us life and peace." the enemy which are gonbei a different form of elves and humans and dragons intertwined had giant swords and fell beasts flying, scouting the land. the time had come for the first battle of the epic war. "men! get ready to kill some dirty gonbeian!"shouted the hulking captain."yeaaahhhhh!!!" and with that the gonbeian came down rushing them. Captain renuld came running up and ducked down as the enemies sword came to slice his head off, he shifted his body towards the left hand side and swung with his mighty arms to cut the gonbeians body in half. It fell apart cleanly and the blood was little. he had a quick death, he would have the only quick death.

the soldiers were locked into battle as aluwen surveyed the area. She saw a pair of soldiers get thrown a hundred feet as 3 gonbeians came chargeing down with spears, they had landed on pikes that were positioned up on the ground for defense. their moans echoed through the battlefield."aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!" the captain looked back and a single clear blue tear came rolling down his rough cheeck. never had he seen such violence in his life, never such heartless behavior the gonbeians cut them into quarters halves and even 1/20 th of a person. their side was dying slowly and painfully and he knew that.

to be cont.

(note*)

hehe battle cont. i hope u liked that lil juicy tidbit hehehe

im dedicating tomarrow to write a lot hehe

:lol:

mortos is looking :twisted:

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The captain turned around to see a juggernaut looking at him with his twin steel axes drenched with blood of his comrades. the juggernaut smiles and lets out a huge and terrifying laugh."AHAHAHAHAHAH, you coward you dare not even move in my presence humans are weak.......aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh" the captain had drawn his sword and thrusted it deep into the juggernauts genitals."aaaaahhhhh" the captain does a spin and thrusts the sword into his chest. he turns his sword slowly, and painfully tortures the juggernaut."whos the weakling now?" and with that he withdraws and enters in the juggernauts head.thumpthe juggernaut falls to the ground still warm. "boom boom boom" there are cannon fire and the captain looks back, the cavalry has arrived. the alliance between aluwen and the humans in the eternal lands and the planet geirgos of the high elves have come to her aid. the gonbeians get totally wiped out fast and hard. Aluwen stares outside of the village at the field and she thinks to herself "there was no war happening only a battle what was i thinking when i thought we were going to have a great war? we have won the battle and the war"

"the end" she thought "was just the end of my planet, but they were all destroyed.. someone played back teh strings of time" and with that she smiles up into the sky and says "father"

THE END

(starwars theme plays) by zsert.

writing by zsert

concept by zsert

typing by zsert

special thanks to my friends

 

 

 

 

mortos is over :twisted:

 

 

 

 

epilogue

with aluwens battle over the gods with her quickly jail mortos and selain for a short period before mortos breaks out weak.

his anger brews. "there will be blood running in the streets" said mortos as he crawled away

The little boy concieved by two female elves was sent away to the planet armad so that he will always be safe, the two parents that took care of him were paid very generously.

They had a ceremony for all who gave their lives for aluwen.

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sorry about the last chapter being mostly italicized i dont know how to use the forum thingy ma bobber. yeah so i hope to hear from you lyanna and other people. i like typing its fun

 

 

:shock: my god is my only god

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Hmm...zsert, did you read my 3 Rules for Writing a Good EL Story? It's in one of the Stickies. From the looks of the story, I don't think you have.

 

No offence, but I think that this story sort of wanders away from the medieval theme of Eternal Lands and mixes in too much new stuff - what with the father of the gods, other planets, more races, and all. The style of writing also leaves much to be desired, but that can be improved on slowly.

 

I liked your idea in the first post. If you could write a story that focused on this small Elven boy's life, and didn't have to drag in extra races or other gods, that would be more suited to Eternal Lands, I think.

 

However, this is just my opinion. Don't take it too hard, okay? :) You're a very creative writer - you just need to tune yourself to the world of Eternal Lands, and write about what is in it currently, instead of writing in any story idea that you like.

 

-Lyn-

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hey lyanna yeah i sort of did wander a lot away from the lil boy. i was tired cuz i was volunteering at la county hospital when i wrote the middle partrs of the story. it's not my best story far far far from that. but lemme make another story up. i'll make it up at home cuz the hospital i'm tired :shock:

bye

hobs aka zsert

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