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Lyanna

A Tale of Vermor Castle

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Thanks Xel. I'll change it when I have the time. :P

 

Okay, unfortunately, I won't have much time to work on this, because it's fairly low on my priority list right now, and there's a LOT of things to do... but I'll post up a brief outline of the rest of the posts, just to let you guys know the story and minimise the chance of conflict.

 

4) Banner and Jarrett find out about their heritage, and collect supplies and allies to go take revenge on Adrian. Banner has a serp sword, and Jarrett has the Cloak of Vermor (MM cape). They leave behind Diana, their cousin, in charge of the Lakeside Tavern and set off with allies Purgul and Alyssa. That's where I'm at now.

 

5) On the way to Vermor Castle, they fight a gargoyle in the night. Banner and Purgul become close friends. Jarrett falls in love with Alyssa, but she keeps him at a distance.

 

6) The party is stopped by the hedge maze. Banner figures out how to map it by using lots of string. Eventually, they find a route into the castle, at night.

 

7) The party enters the castle and immediately gargoyles spawn all around them, which they fight. In this battle, Alyssa dies in Jarrett's arms, and regrets not being able to spend more time with him.

 

8) Jarrett is grieving, and all the monsters leave him alone, which is surprising to Banner and Purgul. They finish off the rest of the gargs.

 

9) The three decide to leave Alyssa's body behind and look for Adrian. They explore and eventually find the portal that brings them to Adrian.

When accused, he admits that he killed the Vermor family.

 

10) Banner, enraged, charges at Adrian, but is stopped by a magical barrier. Adrian turns him into an ogre and takes control of him. He uses him to charge the other two.

 

11) Jarrett is frozen in shock. Purgul, wounded, defends him against the ogre and eventually dies, but the ogre also has suffered fatal damage and cannot attack Jarrett anymore.

 

12) Jarrett finally wakes free of his paralysis and charges at Adrian, only to be blocked by that same magical barrier. Adrian tries to change Jarrett, but fails - and is surprised. Figures out that the Cloak of Vermor is protecting Jarrett. Stalemate.

 

13) They rest for a bit, and Adrian explains in greater detail why he needed Vermor Castle. Unolas is trying to challenge Selain, and Vermor Castle is a focus point for large amounts of mana. That's why Adrian had to work here, to tap that source. The Vermors didn't let him, so he killed them, and trapped their spirits into the walls. Adrian reveals that he uses the trapped spirits to power the gargs. Jarrett had been fighting his own family!

 

14) Adrian says, "nothing personal - it's just part of his job as the priest of Unolas". It's a power struggle between the gods - that's why he sends gargs out to try and hunt down Selain's priest in Tirnwood. (But they're pretty stupid, so they wander everywhere). Adrian needs more spirits to power his researches, so offers Jarrett a deal.

 

15) Jarrett can resume the Lordship and ownership of Vermor Castle, and Adrian will leave him alone. In return, he needs to encourage people to enter the castle, where Adrian's monsters can kill them and trap their souls to fuel his research. If enough souls are captured, Adrian may be able to release the Vermor family, and Banner and Purgul - and Alyssa.

 

16) Jarrett agrees for the time being, but secretly starts studying ways to overcome Adrian's spells and protect the innocents that enter his castle. Maybe one day, they can all be free and reunited, without innocent blood shed, and Adrian destroyed.

 

 

Notes:

- Although I set this in the present day, I can quite easily change it to be in the past, with just a few changes of names.

- The roles of Adrian/Unolas and Sylpho/Selain may need to be altered soon, for gameplay dynamic reasons.

 

 

-Lyn-

Edited by Lyanna

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Present day works for my story! I'm working Pre-great war, around the sacking of Mynadar.

 

Sounds like a great story! I look forward to being able to read it all!

Edited by Quinticus

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I'm just pulling this story up, because I would also like to use it as part of the official stories.

Lyanna, do you plan on finishing it?

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The trouble with this story now is that it is inconsistent with the future of EL. (ie. Adrian is Unolas' priest - what happens when the plans we have for the god quests go through?)

 

That's the danger of using NPCs in stories. :P

 

Best thing to do would actually be to remove it from the "official" stories and cast it as fanfiction, but in any case, I don't think I'll be finishing this story. Someone else may want to take it over, if they wish to.

 

-Lyn-

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Sure, tack it on to my list :) . I'll begin work on it as soon as i finish everything but the last 2 parts of the Prelude to War. Spreading myself thin, but i don't want to see such a great work go to the pooper :D .

 

Or, if you would rather i can bump it up in my priority list and work on it before i do anymore of mine.

 

Just let me know.

Edited by Quinticus

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Okay, I've read this all through and it does sound like a promising work. I'm familiar with Eddings' work and can see bits and pieces of the influence of some of the modern fantasy classics. As a general idea it works quite well.

 

It will require some editing for detail and consistency fixes. And I have some concerns about the later plot points. Atm I'm at a loss for explaining the coming together of Jarrett and Adrian. This does not seem to be in the character makeup of Jarrett. I think such a large character arc would be beyond the scope of a very short story.

 

Also I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to consistently match the writing style. If that becomes the case that would require a full re-write versus editing. In either case it will take quite a bit of mulling and planning.

 

If you have any thoughts or suggestions on this I'd certainly welcome them. As of now I'm not yet committed to working on this but it does provide a good basis for a story.

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Matching the writing style is also something I'm concerned with on the great war story, and any others that are unfinished and that need to be.

I think if there only needs to be minor edits in the current text, then the next chapters that you write should be ok if the style is slightly different. It'd be stated what part is by you and the other persons..and since we're not doing major publication work here it should be alright.

 

Again, you don't have to edit this story, you can start from scratch..it's really up to whoever wants to take on the story, what they think is the easiest and best route.

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Ah yea we could certainly introduce a conceit to explain the different writing styles. Perhaps an acolyte of Lyanna's or somesuch finished the work at a later date. Might provide some interesting meta storytelling. I'll toy around with this during the week and see if I can make it workable. And I'll mull some ideas for alternates should something really cool come to mind.

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