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The wife was having a go at me. "Life's just one big joke to you isn't it."

 

"I don't know what you mean. Sit down love and let's talk about it."

 

That's when I pulled her chair away.

 

 

- Also bad times for Japan :<

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My new telly is brilliant, it shows 50 frames per second.

 

I managed to watch the whole of the snooker world championships in less than a minute. I like this!

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My new telly is brilliant, it shows 50 frames per second.

 

I managed to watch the whole of the snooker world championships in less than a minute. I like this!

It's funny because it's true :D

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Should start a daily humor thread :D

 

I'll get bored of/forget to do this soon... Also shows people the mega fun they could have in Hc if I ever played :S

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My mate was telling me that there's rumours flying around that I secretly download dated, manufactured British pop.

 

That's Hear'say, Pure and Simple.

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Was in the gym earlier and decided to jump on the treadmill.

 

People were giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"

"Yes."

"Oui."

"Sí."

"Ja."

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<3 Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

 

Sometimes, life throws you a curve ball and you just don't know enough about baseball to finish the metaphor...

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Ahaha, so true:

 

Girl: What colour are my eyes?

Guy: 34C

^^ Hehe.

 

PS. I was sad when a few days had passed and you hadn't posted a new joke :(

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Ha, I have to find ones that aren't too rude to post here :P

 

I sell balloons for 10p each or if you want them blown up it's 15p.

I've adjusted the price to allow for inflation.

Edited by Zaer

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A guy comes to a bar and throws $100 on the counter "Give me something strong, I just got to know my dad is gay".

A week later, the very same guy comes to the very same bar. Throws $100 and says "Give me something strong I just got to know my bro is gay".

A week later, ther very same guy comes to the very same bar. Throws $100 and the barman says "Is there anybody in your family that does it with women?"

"Yes, my wife. Just got to know."

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I bet Dracula does all his shopping online, just so he can keep clicking on 'Your Account'.

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This one makes me laugh every time:

 

I put some body spray on last night, but I only managed to pull Anne Robinson.

It must have been the weakest Lynx.

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