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Kayliana

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Haha...did you clear this story with Di first, before writing it? :D Having said that, if you're trying to merge your style with Saii's, watch out for the way you make Satyr speak. You can use the formatting tricks that Saii used, and be careful of the usage of Olde English.

 

Nice story, though. Probably will not put it in (though you can easily post it up on the GDC forums), but if I do, it'll definitely be under either Misc. (most likely) or Legends.

 

A few minor typos here and there...I'll leave you to find them out yourself. :wink:

 

-Lyn-

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haha...that's why it's important to take breaks now and then, freeone, before attempting to proofread another story. Go slow. :) There's plenty of time.

 

Try these sentences:

 

All around her, tangling in her senses yet incredibly clear where the sounds of the forest.

 

"Tiral, whatever distress thee so that thy great heart echoes so loudly within thy breast?"

 

There are more.

 

-Lyn-

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