sirdan Report post Posted April 24, 2004 ok well meet this saterday 4/24/04 at like... 8 eastern prolly well have stand up comedy whoever is funniest wins tit serp tit chain doom cloack umm stars med steel shield and whatever else im wearing there will be some rules but only for the adience yes for the adience but ill exsplaine there this event is in honor of the lancers success so far! im rick james bitch!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jojomama68 Report post Posted April 24, 2004 where r u gonna have it? who will b the judges? and... how do u know if we cheat? (u can probly look up stand up routines online or something) but still i wanna do it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xavier1 Report post Posted April 24, 2004 im rick james bitch!!! I have a firend that says that about 40 times a day......... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sirdan Report post Posted April 24, 2004 o yeah the place thats what i forgot... umm hows about monie tavern and judges will be picked at random as for cheating well if u wana go ahead as long as i laugh my ass off Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jojomama68 Report post Posted April 24, 2004 hehe sounds good i'll try to get mahself there Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GloryFades Report post Posted April 24, 2004 tehehehe Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sirdan Report post Posted April 25, 2004 crap due to computer problems i couldent make it current time : 9:20 just post your best jokes and whoevers is the best wins Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jojomama68 Report post Posted April 25, 2004 there r two things u need to know about texans: 1. when a man gets low on self esteem, he blows his paycheck on a trip to the ol' warehouse 2. texans are bad spellers Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warder Report post Posted April 25, 2004 whats the worst thing about eating a vegetable? Gettin that bitch back in her wheel chair! :shock: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sam3773 Report post Posted April 25, 2004 I edited them for EL • A dwarf walks into a bar - ouch. • A dwarf, an elf and a human meet a wizard, the wizard grants them each one wish, the dwarf asks to be locked in a room with beer all night, so the wizard locked him in, the human asked to be locked in a room full of beautifal girls all night, so the wizard did it, the elf asked to be locked in a room with tonnes of ciggars all night, so the wizard granted his wish, next day the wizard lets the dwarf out and says "how was it" and the dwarf collapsed and said "ace!", he then unlocked the human and said "how was it" and the human, limping out the room, replied "great!", the wizard then unlocks the elf and says "how was it" and the elf replied "anyone got a light?" got more, cant be botherd to type em out Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yoshi Report post Posted April 25, 2004 1.read my siggy. 2.Wonder Why you park in a drive way and drive in a park way. 3. A french captin captures a british captin. the French asks the British, "why do you wear red shirts, it makes you very visible." The British Capt. replied, "so that if we get shot, we can continue fighting like nothing happened, the blood wont show." The very next day the French changed there pants to brown. sophisticated humor...but i think most of you are old enough. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aerowind Report post Posted May 1, 2004 3. A french captin captures a british captin. the French asks the British, "why do you wear red shirts, it makes you very visible." The British Capt. replied, "so that if we get shot, we can continue fighting like nothing happened, the blood wont show." The very next day the French changed there pants to brown. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is HILARIOUS Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alderan Report post Posted May 6, 2004 heh, kinda funny... but a little bit to sick for me Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ninja2121 Report post Posted May 6, 2004 ok this one may be kinda of old but everytime i hear it i fall down laughing... Don't Fart in Bed If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face . She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. ''Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.... But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in." :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karba Report post Posted May 7, 2004 whoa!!!! that was killer! u should win the prize, did u copy that from somewhere? nice tho.. here is mine.. Once upon a time there was a magical place where it never rained... THE END Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tropicano Report post Posted May 7, 2004 omg u SICk fuck Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Acelon Report post Posted May 8, 2004 LMFAO! THAT WAS AWESOME! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sam3773 Report post Posted May 10, 2004 The funniest thing is that he expects me to read it... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Toyminator Report post Posted May 10, 2004 Moesta and Hoesta fucksta kucksta, humpa dumpa frumpa! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ninja2121 Report post Posted May 10, 2004 when is the winner announced? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cunlusias Report post Posted May 12, 2004 ok heres one: A man falls alseep at church.. One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!" "Amen," replied the congregation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ninja2121 Report post Posted May 13, 2004 Good One, Sirdan are you going to announce a winner? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Erinwolfrus Report post Posted August 5, 2004 whoa!!!! that was killer! u should win the prize, did u copy that from somewhere? nice tho.. Yeah, I've heard that one 5 times already. I heard it off some joke site. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
abnormalone Report post Posted August 5, 2004 ok here goes my attempt at humor A man walks into a bathroom and see's a guy with no arms standing above the urinal. The man feels bad for the guy with no arms but figured he knew what he was doing. the man used the facilities and started to walk out. The man with no arms looks at him and says,"i hate to ask, but could you help me out here?" The man felling bad for him says "sure. What do you need?" The man with no arms says,"just get it ou and aim it" The man nodded and unzipped the guys fly, as he yanked his penis out he noticed a weird rash and lots of disgusting looking bumbs and sores. The man already agreeing to do this just aimed and didn't think about it. The man with no arms finished and asked him to shake it off and put it away. The man did so and started to leave. Then out of sheer curiosity he turned and asked"What was wrong with your penis?" The man with no arms replied"i don't know but i didn't want to touch it" and he puuled his arms out of his shirt and walked out of the restroom. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites