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Saii

The Battle of Portland

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The Orcs pressed home their advantage with an unstoppable momentum and began to gain ground. Folis and a small cadre of talented fighters near him were quickly left isolated in the middle of their bridge, as Satyrs at the front to tire and fall back.

 

Salia checked on the forces rushing to Folis' aid. Fifty Centaur had raced ahead of the pack and would arrive in mere moments, the rest would be a few minutes more. Salia held his breath as the cavalry pushed their way through retreating Satyr bodies to try and rescue their leader.

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Folis looked exhausted, barely able to catch breath enough to keep moving. Despite the heroic efforts of a few Satyr who still formed a circle around him, he was having to fight two or three Orcs at a time. Even the strange power that had carried him this far seemed to start losing its effect. Through what seemed to be an extra sense, the Orcs noticed his waning strength, and the hulkish green creatures grew bolder, pressing around him, bearing down upon him and his small remaining group of protectors.

 

Even as the first Centaur fighter reached Folis, Salia could see it was too late, and a stray Orc blade cut deep into the hero's breast just moments before a parry and counterthrust from his comrade could land. With a sigh that seemed to shake the ground, Folis fell, and with his passing the Satyr troops could hold no longer. While Centaur skirmishers held the line for just a few more minutes to bring their dying leader from the fray, their panicked allies ran from the fight, heading towards the mouth of the Kamara pass.

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War's end

 

The heroism of Folis and his Centaurs was the turning point of the war. With thousands of Orcs stranded behind the collapsed West bridge, and astoundingly, another thousand dead from Folis' last stand, combined with the delay caused to the remaining Orc troops from that fight, Glydoc and Glilin were almost equal in number to Selain's troops, with superior warriors and the decided advantage of magic.

 

Although Ogre shocktroops caused some fractures in the Dwarven line, the elderly Glilin showed immense courage in rallying them to his banner, and a counterattack from the deadly Dreagoni caused utter devastation in return. In under an hour Selain's troops had begun to weaken, and the addition of nearly one thousand Satyr charging into their flanks finally caused them to rout entirely.

 

The remaining Orcs following hot on the Satyr's heels ground to a stop when they saw what was happening, and faced with overwhelming odds, withdrew from the battle. As reports filtered back about what had happened, it is reputed the normally unflappable Selain roared with such anger that his throne collapsed, much to the delight of his court.

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Selain sued for peace shortly afterwards. He had no choice. His army was in tatters, supplies of food and the drugs he used to control his forces were running low, and an agreement from Elandria that she would join the struggle against him had finally been signed.

 

The victorious Aluwenists were quick with their decision, accepting only his total surrender and dictating his punishment. Although his status as a God could not be taken from him (nor could it from Unolas), he was barred thereafter from taking an active role in the life of the Eternal Lands.

 

Folis died shortly after the Orcs took the East bridge, and was carried by his few remaining kin to the Tahraji desert, where he was buried with all honour. He is regarded as a patron saint for warriors everywhere (the red and black is now often worn in his honour) while his spear, refashioned by Glilin and buried with the body, has become a relic of great potency.

 

Salia was recaptured by the Orcs and put to death in a field execution just minutes after witnessing the fall of Folis. His weakness is a source of shame for the Satyr race and led to Glilin's intense dislike of Gaia.

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As usual, a very good story, Saii...a bit detail-heavy, but other than that, not bad at all. :) See if you can spice up some of the facts and figures in your earlier posts by changing the way you describe them (ie. "a score of..", "a ragged handful", "the massed legions of..." instead of just plain numbers).

 

Folis' story is well-told, but Salia seems fairly left out of the picture. You might want to consider revisions here and there to give them both a little more characterisation. (They DO seem a little one-dimensional, after all...great, brave and noble warrior and cowardly, sneaky traitor...) However, this is optional, since historical tales and legends in general DO tend to polarise characters a bit. If you want to stick with the general style of the genre, you can leave it alone, but if you want to tell a more "human" (figuratively-speaking) story, it might be nice to see deeper, more multi-faceted characters. The stylistic choice is yours. This would probably apply to the way you describe numbers as well, so my earlier comments above would also be affected.

 

About your ending...it seemed a little abrupt, but it's serviceable, nevertheless. You might want to add a few more details about Folis' death and burial, and the disbandment of the armies. Also, I'd be careful about Selain's punishment - whether he takes "an active role in the life of the Eternal Lands" should still be open to debate, I think. After all, despite it all, Selain IS still the God of Summoning, so... :wink:

 

What happened to the Satyr? Are you going to write about their disappearance after you finish off the Centaurs?

 

That's all I can think of for the moment. It's still a great story, nevertheless. It can easily tie in with the rest.

 

-Lyn-

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Right sorry I haven't replied, million and one things to do and all that :oops:.

 

The story is very much told along historical lines (as I say at the beginning, it's told as though two bard's tales have been woven together by historians), which is both why the language isn't too flowerly (historians not being fans of this sort of thing) and the characters are fairly simple (bards not being fans of complicated people 8)).

 

I was thinking about adding some more details to the end, but chickened out cos it was already 6,000 words long and people were complaining. Selain's punishment.... I said he was banned I didn't say he wouldn't cheat :(.

 

Yes I was planning to add a bit to the Satyr legend, though not too much, mostly just explaining how they got on the greatships with Gaia and where the remaining thousand or so went after the war.

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