Jump to content
Eternal Lands Official Forums
Sign in to follow this  
dawench

Recent Medical Article

Recommended Posts

article from the Draia Associated Medical Professional Gazette

 

The Effects of Toadstool Consumption on the Elven Brain

 

by Dr. Wascal E Wabbett, Chairman, Hulda Psychiatric Research Center

 

The toxicity of the general variety toadstool has been long known by the medical community. Many residents of Hulda and other nations have been "experimenting" with the eating of toadstools for generations. Usually, after their first poisoning, these very rational people stop eating toadstools. This is not the case with Elves.

 

Rather than acting as a general poison, toadstool toxins, when introduced to the Elven physiology, react more as neurotoxins. These neurotoxins seem to induce a sense of euphoria and invulnerability to any Elf who consumes them. Consequently, Elves tend to crave toadstools the more they get poisoned. In short, toadstools are highly addictive to Elves.

 

Furthermore, long term toadstool abuse leads to various psychiatric problems. The "toad eater" or "toad sucker" is generally inflicted with paranoia. This paranoia, somewhat delusional in nature, leads the Elf to conclude that there is a conspiracy against them. They refuse to accept that their destinies are in the hands of the Gods. Rather, they believe they are controlled by things called "the random generator" and "the AI". Toad addicted Elves are often heard to say things such as "the random generator is broken" and "the AI is out to get me".

 

As well as paranoia, most toad addicted Elves are highly delusional. This often leads them into dangerous situations and to engage in questionable activities. On a recent trip to the Hulda National Bestiary two incidents occured that illustrate this point. One of my patients approached a Feros and called him a "good doggy". The patient then attempted to engage the Feros in a game of fetch. The patient was unfortunately mauled to death. Another patient grabbed a Yeti around the waist in a rather unseemly tight embrace. The patient then said, "A bunny wabbit of my very own, I will hug him and squeeze him and call him George". Fortunately for that patient the Yeti's name was George and he took no offense at the personal liberities taken of him.

 

All attempts at rehabilation have proven fruitless. Rather than burdening society with these mindless creatures, we have found useful employment for them. They make excellent Fluffy bait. That having been said, I have 24 Elves for sale to any of my fine colleagues in Grubani.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey, man! I'm no toad-junkie! I can quit anytime I want. I just don't want to. :P

 

Great stuff, dawench. :D

 

 

 

 

(PS: The AI is out to get me.)

Edited by peino

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That was funny :P I'll never watch cartoons again without thinking about whacked out elves :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hey, man! I'm no toad-junkie! I can quit anytime I want. I just don't want to. :D

 

Great stuff, dawench. ;)

 

 

 

 

(PS: The AI is out to get me.)

 

You sound like my guildie who does weed irl :P lool.

 

[/sarcasm]

 

Nice article, how'd it get found again?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×