Jump to content
Eternal Lands Official Forums
Sign in to follow this  
Aledezar

Three pairs of Eyes: by Aledezar

Recommended Posts

He knew it was a mistake the moment he saw the other man raise his hands, the glint of evil intent blazing in his eyes.

Aledezar braced himself for the underworlds embrace, and wondered desperately to himself, "Why?"

 

Earlier that day Aledezar had decided on a whim to visit the legendary Valley of the Dwarves, notorious for its ridiculous monster invasions and wealthy supply of precious gold. He had dreamed of the veins of the shining metal since he had heard of them from his sister, and decided to check it out for himself.

As you and I both now know, the gold mines in the Valley aren't particularly safe for the unwary traveler. Unfortunately, Aledezar underestimated the strength of the goblins, and almost found himself at the gates of Hell, figuratively speaking. Aledezar barely managed to escape with his life, and decided to go to the local storage to find some food and some aid in healing. While there, he saw the sight that would change his outlook on things, however cliché, for the rest of his life.

Standing there next to the man who calls himself Molgor was a man dressed in black that I shall, for the purposes of this retelling, name Jack. Now, Jack wasn't the kind of man anyone would have expected to be doing anything less than honorable at first glace. Calmly sitting, apparently in deep thought, he would, in fact, seem the perfect example of your normal resident of Seridia. Aledezar was on the brink of complete recuperation, (thanks to some kindly young fellow with a couple of health essences!), when he got a look from Jack that plainly told him he wanted to speak. Aledezar briskly walked over to the man and listened to his plea.

Through the course of their pleasant conversation Aledezar learned that Jack was an honorable fighter simply wishing to hone his skills so that one day he might prove his mettle in combat, and perhaps earn his way to an easy life. He was strictly a fair man, and never broke the law, not for person gain, nor for the gain of a friend. After offering to train with Aledezar, he even suggested that they go first to an arena, or cave as not to disturb the local residents with their clatter.

It seemed well enough to Aledezar who believed whole heartedly he could easily match Jack in hand to hand combat, even if only for a while, so he decided, why not? They made their way south past the old mines and through the pass in the mountains, drifting east, to the outside of the city walls of noble Nordcarn. They found the cave with relative ease, the entrance sticking well out of the side of the cliff. They entered its dark depths and found a well secluded area, far from the stench of rotting goblin flesh. They faced each other, ready to spar.

He knew it was a mistake the moment he saw the other man raise his hands, the glint of evil intent blazing in his eyes.

The next instant, there were three pairs of eyes in that particular section of the cave. Jack's, Aledezar's, and the eyes of the white tiger, standing squarely next to Jack. Within seconds, there were once again, two sets of eyes in the cave...

Awaking to the sound of movement beneath him, and the heat of the air around him, Aledezar slowly rose to a sitting position, taking in the view around him. Red. Everything was red. His eyes hurt immensely as they adjusted to the vast change from the earlier darkness of the cave. As soon as they did, he almost went unconscious once again. He was, of course, in the underworld.

Far to the north a grand gateway appeared through the rising smoke and waves of heat, standing tall against the death and desolation that was the underworld. It was red, of course, but unlike everything else, it provided hope to all who gazed thereupon. Aledezar had seen it before and knew where it led, back into the world of the living.

Stepping through the gateway he found his eyes in pain once more, adjusting to the much more agreeable light, vibrant colors of Isla Prima. Walking to the south, he arrived at a familiar sight, the boat leading from primitive Isla Prima to the grandeur of White Stone, oldest city in all of Seridia. He boarded and watched as the tiny village drifted back into the distance, and became swallowed by the horizon.

After some quick thinking, he decided wolves were indeed the better trainers than humans......

 

 

 

Anybody is welcome to post comments, tell me what you think! ;)

Edited by Aledezar

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds good.

 

Personaly I enjoy stories with a little more dialogue. Just a description dosn't help you get to know the characters as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes dialogue and try to organize the story better when writing it. It sounds like you've got a lot of ideas and you just want to throw them all in there, but they have to be put in properly, and slowly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Annatira

Very interesting! Seems more like an outline to a story though, with details missing?

 

Dialogue and more content (stretch it out).

 

But very good effort, I look forward to seeing it develop!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×