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Grues and their Ways

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Grues and their Ways

A report on the elusive Grue

By Tumaros Treesoar

 

 

 

What is a Grue? This is a question asked by so many people that it seems ridiculous to answer with "I don't know," "Teh Evil!" or "What in the name of Almighty Entropy is a Grue?!" all of which being true answers by the speakers. So, sadly, many people who just want to seem smarter than the rest of us have resorted to making up an answer...yet, it may seem unbelievable, but it's true! I have heard such ridiculous answers as "It's a giant troll with three eyes and a huge mouth," or "A big purple cyclops with a single horn and wings," and sometimes (very rarely, thankfully) I hear "Uh...you ever heard of the Bigfoot? One of those...with fangs...yeah..." I am greatly upset with these horrible assumptions! At last...I shall let the public know exactly what a Grue is. It is simply a [hey...every time I type it, it disappears...??]

 

Whether you know it or not, there is always a Grue with you. Gifted with the amazing ability to travel into other dimensions and yet be aware of ours, they follow citizens around on their journeys. However, DO NOT BE AFRAID! One of the things that annoys me the most is how so many people are misled in the fact that Grues attack people who stay in one place for too long. The Grue is NOT carnivorous...it is, in fact, Stradivarius. And it is NOT the Grue that attacks stationary people, but the closely related Flue, which has also been known to infect people with the virus influenza.

 

Although they are almost always invisible (to our eyes), Grues have been sighted by scientists, divers, marine biologists, hunters, fishers, and the Irish. A smart person would have found out the pattern in the above sighting locations...and in case you haven't figured it out already, Grues are aquatic animals that originate from Irilion, and have been known to be at the opposite end of the rainbow as the pot of gold...in the other side of the water. They are attracted to areas of vast water, so they favor the seas and lakes of the world greatly. However, being aquatic, it is odd how they are very well skilled in climbing trees, which they use as a hiding spot.

 

Grues seem to have a keen interest in Elves, which is no surprise as both share a love of the wilderness, and many Elves that are aware of Grues (can see them) have domesticated them and used them as faithful pets. They follow suspicious characters, are EXTREMELY loyal, and are quite affectionate and cuddly, as well as great show offs when the time comes. My dear pet Grue "Silmaril" is gifted with the ability to raise an eyebrow, flare his nostrils, wiggle his ears, do the wave with his stomach, and make a sound like a rabbit while baking a (rather delicious) blackberry pie. He got that from his father's side.

 

Unknown to many who even know what a Grue is, there are actually multiple species of Grues. For example, the type of Grue on Isla Prima is the Spine-backed Tri-nostriled Grue, who, as well as having a unique appearance, also smells more like the salty ocean, having more of a preference for the sea. Although the Grues of the entire White Stone region are very much alike, they still differ slightly. The Grues of White Stone City are known as the standard Grues of the area, slightly taller than most Grue species, and known in other regions as the Dual-beaked Hump-backed Grue (My Silmaril being one of these...these being the most tame of all Grues). The Grues of Tirnwood Vale (formerly Treetown) are thinner and more agile, with a distinct pine scent. And the Grues of the Elavro Mountains are a bit stronger and more muscular. Other species of the continent include the Stocky-bodied "Pickaxe"-handed Grues of Mynadar, the Quill-haired Four-legged Grues of Desert Pines (the city, the Grues of the region vary), and th

e Red-eyed Prong-headed Grues of the Ruins of Tirnym (Note: although these are possible the fiercest of Grues, they have never yet attacked a human, although when approached they rear up on their hind legs and begin to his loudly. At that point, step away slowly until they stop...just to be safe).

 

In closing, I would just like to mention S.P.U.G.T., or the Society for the Prevention of Unfair Grue Treatment, a wonderful organizations that formed when the Grue population suddenly decreased and they were forced to go into hiding nearly all of the time. If this report has changed your view about Grues, or you would just like to see our little friends get help, then please, by all means, contact S.P.U.G.T. at 1-800-HOSPUGT. Silmaril and I hope that you help make a difference. Save a Grue. Call today.

Edited by Acelon

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