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ttlanhil

husband's revenge (well, mostly)

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[note: this is something I read, not my story, despite the 1st person telling :) ]

 

I have never understood why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.

FOR EXAMPLE: one evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She then responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not for what I do in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep...

 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out to a good lunch and then went shopping at a very big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said "Let's get a pair for each outfit".

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

 

I started to think she was testing me because she then asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"

I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

 

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

 

ed: ooh yeah... and nobody add any comments that are overly sexist, I can't change the warning/disclaimer :)

Edited by ttlanhil

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yes.. men definitely have PROBLEMS with choosing THE RIGHT tactics to get what they want...

Edited by LadyReni

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yes.. men definitely have PROBLEMS with choosing THE RIGHT tactics to get what they want...

You made a typo;here,let me fix it for you:

yes.. women definitely have PROBLEMS with choosing THE RIGHT tactics to get what they want...

Much better. :P

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That seems more like an :P adult joke. I'm only a teenager!! Just out of curiosity are there more adults or kids that play this game? :cry:

 

Yes

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That seems more like an :P adult joke. I'm only a teenager!! Just out of curiosity are there more adults or kids that play this game? :cry:

Dost thou belongeth to the 20th century?Only old,feeble people with 200 years of experience dareth play this game

*chases with a cane*

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