I wanna kill someone for telling me this joke...

[Grayseraph]

Lemme tell you this joke, but it may be better in actual verbal terms, but maybe its still funny...

 

A boy gets on a bus. He sits in front of another kid, which is laughing for some reason.

"Hey kid, lemme tell you a bad word," the laughing kid said.

"Ok," the kid replies.

"Nah, I can't trust you..."

"Yes you can, " the kid insisted.

"Ok," the kid replies. "Lean over."

The kid leaned over, and the other one whispered "Strawberry" in his ear.

 

The kid was quite confused, but he continued his normal day.

But the next day, he decided to tell about it.

He got on the bus, and told the bus driver, "Mrs. Bus driver, a kid told me a naughty word on the bus yesterday."

"Well son, what was the word?" she asked.

"Strawberry."

"STRAWBERRY!?! Get off my bus, and never come back!"

So the kid walked to school.

The kid walked into the classroom, and his teacher asked "Why are you late?"

"Well, I told the bus driver I heard a kid say a bad word yeaterday, and she kicked me off the bus for saying the word."

"Well, what was the word?" asked the teach.

"Strawberry," the kid answered.

"WHAT! STRAWBERRY!?! Get out of my classroom, and never come back!"

So the little kid went to the principal's office, and talked to the principal.

"What's wrong, son?" the principal asked.

"I got kicked out of the classroom for telling the teacher I told the busdriver that a kid said a bad word, and I got kicked for saying the word."

"Well, what was the word?" he asked.

"Strawberry," he replied.

"STRAWBERRY?!? Get out of my school, and never come back ever again!"

So the kid ran home. His mom saw he was upset.

"What's wrong, son?" she asked.

"I got in trouble for saying a word that I told the principal that I told the teacher that I told the bus driver that a kid said that was bad."

"Well son, what was it?"

"strawberry"

"WHAT! STRAWBERRY!?! Get out of this house, you are no longer part of our family!"

So the upset kid ran from the house to the nearest ice cream parlor (I don't know why...)

The parlor owner saw that the kid was upset, and asked what was wrong.

"I got kicked out of my house for saying a bad word that I told my mom that I told my principal that I told my teacher that I told my bus driver that a bad kid said."

"Well, what was it?" he asked.

"I shouldn't tell you..."

"I'll treat you to a free ice cream if you do. Double scoop."

"Well....ok....the word was strawberry."

"WHAT! STRAWBERRY!?! Get out of my parlor, and never come back!"

So the kid ran away, and rann and ran and ran, and he was hit by a car that was driving down the street.

 

Moral of the story---look both ways before crossing the street.

[Infamous]

lmfao

[Vanyel]

Great joke - I love it!

[sparhawk]

I think im a caveman.. Im confused...

[Tanyia]

 

What an odd joke...I did smile though

[Vanyel]

Odd jokes and most absurd one are best. Like:

The Paladin of Light was wandering through the forests and saw wounded deer. He healed it. Some time later he spotted evil plants - he cut them and burn. He was wandering through the forest when he spotted the Dragon liar. He entered it and the Dragon ate him.

[Infamous]

Odd jokes and most absurd one are best. Like:

The Paladin of Light was wandering through the forests and saw wounded deer. He healed it. Some time later he spotted evil plants - he cut them and burn. He was wandering through the forest when he spotted the Dragon liar. He entered it and the Dragon ate him.

 

weed?

[Placid]

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?

 

 

One

[Vanyel]

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?

 

 

One

 

 

Hehehehehe --- great one!

[sKuller]

Is that like the 1 :- how many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

 

 

Fish

[Vanyel]

Is that like the 1 :- how many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

 

 

Fish

 

Loolol, this one beats any others! It's like:

 

How differs a sparrow?

 

 

 

Because he has one leg better

 

Hard to translate from Polish:/

Edited April 25, 2006 by Vanyel

[ttlanhil]

Loolol, this one beats any others! It's like:

 

How differs a sparrow?

 

 

 

Because he has one leg better

not bad...

 

what's the difference between an orange?

one of them doesn't

[Vanyel]

Loolol, this one beats any others! It's like:

 

How differs a sparrow?

 

 

 

Because he has one leg better

not bad...

 

what's the difference between an orange?

one of them doesn't

 

 

Lool - another great one - thank you people for them - gimme more more more more more, plz! (I reall enjoy such jokes).

[Mar(c)]

I know it something like this, iirc...:

 

What is the difference between a dead bird?

His one leg is just as long.

 

What is the similarity between a dead bird?

His other leg is broken...

 

 

 

Another one:

 

A man walks into a baker's shop...

Baker: "Hello, how can I help you?"

Customer: "Can I buy a bread please?"

B: "Sure, white or brown bread?"

C: "Yes."

B: "Yes.. what?? "

C: "Oh I'm sorry... Yes sir!"

 

 

 

(Since it's translated from Dutch, I hope this still makes any sense doesn't make any sense...)

[Vanyel]

Another one:

 

A man walks into a baker's shop...

Baker: "Hello, how can I help you?"

Customer: "Can I buy a bread please?"

B: "Sure, white or brown bread?"

C: "Yes."

B: "Yes.. what?? "

C: "Oh I'm sorry... Yes sir!"

 

 

 

(Since it's translated from Dutch, I hope this still makes any sense doesn't make any sense...)

 

This one is awesome:D

 

The Paladin was wandering through forest and he saw big lake with huge cave next to it. From there cave there came out a five-head dragon. The Paladin charged at him and cut his one head, cut second... third and fourth... The Draong rose the last head and said: "Paladin, what the fu... is wrong with you, I'm only drinking here!"

[ttlanhil]

what do you call a deer with no eyes?

no idea

what do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?

still no idea

what do you call a deer with no head?

dead

[KibblesAndBits]

How do u get a FSU graduate off ur porch

 

pay for the pizza

[Arnieman]

How many University of Michigan Freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

None - that's a Sophomore course.

 

A bear, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... well, the bear has a snowball that he tries to tuck into the seat of his pants. The bartender sees this, then says, "hey, bear. is that a snowball you're trying to... HEY! what the heck are you doing in my bar, and not wearing pants?"

 

The bear looks at him and says, "'Cause I'm bear!"

[Samanex]

What do you call a man with no arms and legs, hanging on a wall?

 

Art

[Knuckles]

HarHar..

 

Maybe it's my sence of humor.. o.O

 

[Edit]

 

Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A. Fsh

 

Yes, not funny... Oh well..

Edited April 29, 2006 by ManHunT

[spock534]

What do you a man with no arms and no legs that fell into the toilet?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Turd Furgeson!!!!!

[peeper :)]

George Bush walks into a library and says to the librarian; can i have some fish and chips?

 

The librarian replys; i'm sorry sir this is a library

 

George bush replys; oh yes, of course, then whispers; can i have some fish and chips?

[Knuckles]

George Bush walks into a library and says to the librarian; can i have some fish and chips?

 

The librarian replys; i'm sorry sir this is a library

 

George bush replys; oh yes, of course, then whispers; can i have some fish and chips?

 

LoL!

[jamesjersey]

oh that bush joke reminds me another one i like most.

 

George Bush went to the doctor for a routine physical. "I’m sorry to tell you," said the doctor, "that you have a brain problem. Your brain is in 2 parts: left and right."

"Yes," said Bush, with his usual arrogant certainty, "the same as everyone else’s."

"True," replied the doctor, "But in your case, the left part has nothing right in it, and the right part has nothing left in it!"

[Acelon]

Warning: Not for the faint of heart

 

My one friend told me these, they DO make sense but I wanted to kill him

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

-Nail its other hand to the ground.

 

Why do you put a baby in a blender, feet first?

-To see its expression.

 

What's even more fun than nailing a baby to the wall?

-Ripping it off.

 

What's the difference between a camero and a pile of dead babies?

-I don't have a camero in my garage.

 

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a baby?

-You can't stick a pitchfork in a bowling ball.

 

What's worse than 10 babies in 1 trash can?

-1 baby in 10 trash cans.

 

How do you get a baby in a bowl?

-A Blender

How do you get it out?

-Nachos