To the_antiroot

[LadyWolf]

***First off, please do not flame, bitch, whatever in this thread or I'll have a mod lock it to keep it clean. This is something that needs to be done and I ask that you all kindly respect the parties involved.***

 

As most of you may know, back in september of 2005, the_antiroot and I were "married" in game. Then to everyone's shock (everyone that wasn't close to either of us.) back in January he #bc'd in game that it was over.

 

Why am I bringing this to the forums in front of everyone? Because I brought grief and pain to someone that is highly respected by this community, and in some cases I damaged his reputation. I write this today as a public apology, not only to antiroot, but to everyone involved. I care nothing about how people feel about me after this is read, only that it may help start to correct any harm I may have done.

 

Antiroot came into my life when I needed a friend the most, and as some things go, real life feelings got involved. We married in EL in September and I couldn't have been happier. Unfortunately, my real life feelings started to fade, and someone else caught my eye. This is when things went bad. Instead of being an adult about it all and just tell anti the truth, I tried to cover things up. Guess I kinda wanted to have my cake and eat it too.

 

Instead of just saying it's my fault things are going badly, I tried to keep my image clean and put the blame off on antiroot. I tried to make it look like everything was his fault, and in some cases I defamed his reputation. I am not proud of the things I did, or the things I said. And I know I can not take them back, lord knows I would if I could. They say hindsight is 20/20, and that saying is true. I see now how I should have handled things, unfortunately I can't go back in time to fix my mistakes.

 

Antiroot- I lied to you and about you. I did damage not only to your name, but to you as a person. For that, you will never know how truly and deeply sorry I am. You were my best friend, and I miss that the most. You were always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, and what I did was worse than spitting in your face. You will never know just how sorry I am for all the hurt I caused you. I only hope that this can start a healing process for all of us involved.

 

To the EL community- I am ashamed of my actions, and the lies that I told to try to keep my image clean. I can only hope that any that were involved in this, read this and see that I am truly sorry for my actions. It took me until now to realize that I had to try to apologize to all of you for what happened, and to thank the few of you that actually stuck by me and didn't desert me (altho if you had, I couldn't blame you).

 

I'm not going into details about everything that happened or was said/done. I do not wish to cause antiroot any further grief/pain/embarrassment on my behalf.

 

Just know that I see now just how wrong I was, and that I deeply regret my actions. Also that I am truly sorry to antiroot, and to the whole community for my actions. I don't ask for your forgiveness, I don't know that I deserve it, just for this heartfelt apology to be accepted, and the opportunity to earn the respect I used to have among those affected by this.

 

I hope that those that read this don't take the opportunity to chastise/flame or whatever. I have my punishment, and I deal with it everyday. The fact that I hurt one of the sweetest, kindest people I have ever known, and in doing so, lost my best friend and the respect of so many.

 

This is all I have to say, I can only hope that this can be a start to a new beginning for us all. The old LadyWolf (that caused all this heartache and grief) is dead, and it's time for the real me (the one that started playing this game 13 months ago) to shine through again and start anew.

 

Sincerely (and humbly)

 

~LW~

[Mr.Mind]

Is this apology meant for everyone, or just the antiroot?

[Aislinn]

Is this apology meant for everyone, or just the antiroot?

Why am I bringing this to the forums in front of everyone? Because I brought grief and pain to someone that is highly respected by this community, and in some cases I damaged his reputation. I write this today as a public apology, not only to antiroot, but to everyone involved. I care nothing about how people feel about me after this is read, only that it may help start to correct any harm I may have done.

 

Read much?

[Mr.Mind]

I'm asking about the people who aren't involved with the antiroot's situation.

 

I'm not convinced that this is sincere.

[Entropy]

I'm asking about the people who aren't involved with the antiroot's situation.

 

I'm not convinced that this is sincere.

 

So, would you be so kind and enlighten us on how a sincere apology should look like?

[shallara]

IE: If you weren't involved, didn't know about it, or it didn't affect you or your attitude regarding the key players...

 

Then this is basically none of your business and keep your mouth shut.

 

Ladywolf, I highly respect your coming clean, so to speak, even though I personally didn't know much of what happened. I can only hope you have set an example to others, to publicly voice when you've wronged another, in public...

 

Aislinn and Entropy, thanks for rightfully posting in defense of a sincere post, when belittled by those that have no clue

[Samanex]

I'm still in the LW fan club!

[Infamous]

it took guts to post it here in public and we all make mistakes at some point so i'd say give her a second chance

and Mr. mind she didn't have to apologize in public so use some common sence no one opens a topic to apoligize for fun.. this IS sincere

[Vanyel]

I respect you, LadyWolf, for posting it. The issues you've mentioned had not affected me at all. I admire your courage.

I can only say that I'm sorry to hear that this all had happened. I hope you will manage to get over it (both you and anti).

 

(At people that has nothing to say and would like to just stress their attendance in the forums - please do it in the off topic section. Be not assholes.)

[LadyReni]

Dear LadyWolf,

I am glad that you finally decided post it, I know it wasn't easy and I admire you for it. I just hope you are not using anti again... to clear your name. I don't think anti's reputation suffered because of what happened between you two.

Best wishes.

R

[LadyWolf]

First thing I would like to address is the comment made by LadyReni. The answer is no. I spoke to antiroot prior to writing this. I was desperate to know what I could do to show him how sorry I was, I offered to make a public apology to him and everyone involved, and he felt that that would be a first step to repairing some of the harm I caused.

 

Next thing I want to address. MrMind, my attitude toward you has nothing to do with this post per say. The way YOU conduct yourself is the reason for my attitude (and the attitude of MOST everyone in this game as a matter of fact) toward you. As far as your guild, my guild, ^v^, is at war with you guys, but I have let several of your members live, because I have no reason to kill them. Yes I could do it for spite because of anomosity towards you, but I don't. For you to single me out ,(out of everyone that dislikes you) because I don't agree with your affect on the market ,is not appropriate and has no place here. If you wish to discuss this further, please take it to pm's, not here.

[LadyReni]

First thing I would like to address is the comment made by LadyReni. The answer is no. I spoke to antiroot prior to writing this. I was desperate to know what I could do to show him how sorry I was, I offered to make a public apology to him and everyone involved, and he felt that that would be a first step to repairing some of the harm I caused.

Thanks for PMing me in game

meh ... this EL community .. I am never bored

[Aislinn]

Thread cleaned. Please keep to the topic, which is LadyWolf, the_antiroot, and the people who ended up in the middle of their situation. That is what this is about, not totally unrelated things.

[the_antiroot]

First of all, thank you Ladywolf for having the courage to apologise, I know it took a lot to do, and I truly apriceate that you were willing to do so, and clear my name of things that were said.

 

Now Im going to keep my reply fairly shory, not out of disrespect, but because some things are best said such ways, other points would fall firmly into the the area of being in the relm of private matters for my self and Ladywolfs buisness only, and finally I dont really want to give "Mr. ImTryingToGetOnAnti'sPKList" any room to missquote me.

 

Firstly, I accept your apologie.

Honesty is a corner stone to my very being, and above all other reasons, it was simply becaus I tired of trying to pick out threads of truth in wordings of convenience that I minimised all communication with you.

I couldnt believe it when some of the things you were saying about me started reaching my ears, and I was deeply hurt. This was compounded when upon confrontation when you denied certain things so convincingly you (to my shame) sowed the seeds of doubt in my mind about the truthfullness of some of my closest friends.

But time went on, and the weight of evidence from tose Id knowen for a long time, and others I hardlly knew who felt they had to make me aware iofd such things that were going on and being said, finally became overweming.

 

Never the less, what you have done today, took a lot of courage, and has laid the bricks upon which hopefully you can build a new reputation, and perhaps even in time we may build upon a sembelance of our former friendship.

 

So, what now?

 

Are we still enemies? No. We never actually were, Where sitting on a line of dishonesty i felt very uncomfortable on I chose not to correct this misconception of yours as it would hav been counterproductive to my minimising communication with you.

 

Are we friends? No, however that avenue is no longer closed. With time and honesty this avenue is left open.

 

Can we chat now? Hell yeah, there is as Im sure you know still a lot to talk about, as we reach the limit of what can be shared with the general public, and I would be lying big time if I didnt say that I have really missed the chats we used to have before the lies began.

 

Can we Train/trade? Not currently, however this is not due to the points made here. You are in a guild that we are engaged in active hostilities with, and our guild rules forbid this. I would be setting a poor example if I did not adhere to a set of rules I helped create.

 

In closure I pray you have the strength and resolve to follow through on your new leaf, and in doing so in time I would hope to be able to be able once more to think of you as a friend.

 

P.S. Anyone says I was lying about keeping it short can swivel, I could have filled the webservers harddrive with a full length posting ;-)

[LadyWolf]

First, thank you Aislinn for keeping this thread to the topic at hand.

 

Anti-

 

Your response was more than I could hope for at this time. I know there is still alot that needs to occur before we could ever (if it is possible) to become friends again.

 

I am truly grateful that you accept my apology, and will not stop working to show you, and everyone else that I mean what I said.

 

Your post here only goes to strengthen what I said about you being the sweetest, most giving, and now the most forgiving person I have ever met. I am honored to have been able to call you a friend, and maybe one day in the future, to be able to call you one again.

 

I fully understand about the guild situation, and I would never ask you to go against guild rules on my behalf.

 

 

Finally in closing. I know that alot of people have viewed this thread, and I am certain without a doout, that most of the people that this thread applies to have read/or will read it. I logged in earlier, as LadyReni pointed out, and recieved several pm's. Thank you for being kind and not tearing me apart, like you had every right to do. People say it took courage for me to make this post, maybe so..but it took more on anti's behalf to be so forgiving to someone that doesn't deserve it.

[SweetThang]

Ok first of all LW honestly I am very proud of you! We have talked alot and been thur alot already.

But I am glad that you and Anti can put this behind you and start moving forward again.I have to

admit that I have seen a change in you.I hated seeing 2 of my good friends freakin hurt and since I

Knew ALOT it was a very difficult situation for me to be in but I stuck bye you and Anti and I will to this

day!

 

So before I get lost in words I want to say I accept your appolgy and I will be there when you need *hugs*

 

And for anti cmere u gimmie big big big big

 

Ok best wishes to the both of you . You both are really GREAT friends wubs ya both

[Brian N.]

Wow... yea it took guts to appologize and that was the right thing to do but antiroot took it good.. If i were him i would just ignore this forum..

 

Well, and that's the way the cookie crumbles..

 

 

Goodluck to the both of you..

[Ornitorrinco]

I had a first bad impression of LW, but this post was cool

[roos]

I had a good impression of LW, but omg now that i read this post i gotta say.... nah just kidding, you're still cool, and i admire your courage

 

the_antiroot, I respected you a ton from the first time we talked, and now 100 times more if that is possible I can only imagine that it must have been really painful for you, and it takes a lot of class to forget about it and respond the way you did.

[Entropy]

Who needs soap operas when you have EL?

[LadyWolf]

Instead of Days of Our Lives- Days of EL

[Pyewacket]

Has everyone been visiting Dr Wisenbaum this week?? It's all "I sorry for wot i done!"

 

Whilst I for one am happy that apologies are given and respect the fact, in ALL cases, this is happening, and I am only indirectly involved as an EL mate to the parties involved in this topic, I am afraid (devils advocate that I am) I have to point out that, to all that feel they DO need to offer apologies for their actions in this and other topics/areas, these apologies are not required if you please try to consider your actions and the possible consequences, especially in terms of your interactions with others in the game.

 

This counts for everyone. From Ladywolf here (applause btw) thru to Mrminds post (try taking into account the topic title before you ask who the apology was for?), thru to midevilconevil's topic...even down to the Benfish apology made in Outlaw.

 

And beyond, to scammers, bagjumpers, macroers...anyone that decides upon a course of action that will result in their needing at some point to offer an apology to someone to extracate themselves from a mess they have created for themselves, regardless of whether it is truly regretted or not. Just DONT DO IT, its that simple.

(Ok, on PAPER its that simple, yeah I know it gets more complicated with RL people thrown into the mix, but still!)

 

Anywas...glad to see this matter is getting resolved, and I hope I havent gone offtopic too much here.

 

- PYE

[Ember]

going to keep this short

 

@LadyWolf-- Nice to see you coming clean it takes guts, thou I dont belive anyone who truely knew anti would have even given a second thought to the rumors you were spreading. I am still realy pissed off at you for hurting a good friend of mine and probly will be for a while -- cant be help'd much you did brake a promise of sorts to me. Given time if you want we could probly become friend thou I am not sure because trust is a factor and my trust in you right now couldnt be superglued back to gether it would have to be reforged which does take time. Reading this post has earn'd you back a little of the respec you lost from me when all of this insanity 'started'.

 

@the_antroot-- *hugs* It takes a strong person to appoligies but it takes an even stronger person to accept as honestly and gracefully as you did. I have great respect for you and always will Even when you make desions I don't like I will always be your friend You have a great many friends who will stand beside you in your time of need. */end hugs*

 

 

Emby

[Beorn]

My good reputation has kindof faded to ladywolf...but I will wub you for who you are...

[desdamona]

The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.

Oscar Wilde..................Ladywolf i try to keep myself to myself on EL so i dont realy know a lot about this i just got to know you and from what ive seen and heard your ok