pennifuin Report post Posted January 17, 2006 (edited) The story needs to be more condensed and seriously shortened, plus the general adjustments Roja posted (names, consistency etc). I suggest that the one editing this (Brom perhaps?) remove character backgrounds and "off-topic" things that aren't really relevant to the main story of the RP. Personally i do not have a problem with character backgrounds being included as i see them as mostly being relevent to the story (as, what i think made this rp so succesful is the fact that there is that much more background, and groundwork), maybe reduce the number of posts covering the same point in time?( i.e,boarding of the ship,) and yes, remove the wholy irellevant things, but if you remove everything excess, you risk removing something tht might not seem like anything important, but that excerpt might actually add somehing that little bit more vivid or extra to the rp. Therefore i think it is essential to proofread this many many times, and not be too hasty in terms of what we dismiss. Yes I'd say go for it We can put them as books in the library and on the webpage. Also, I didn't read all of it so i'm not sure how much this applys, but if someone only wrote like one or 2 posts there and really didn't finish their part of the story please edit those out. in terms of people writing a few posts and then not re-entering into the rp, i think there is just 2 or 3 occasions where this has happened. it will be quite easy to either erase them alll, or re-write it so that we include them within other people's accounts. Edited January 17, 2006 by pennifuin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LadyWolf Report post Posted January 17, 2006 As having participated in this RP, I'd be more than happy to help proofread it/ rewrite/make any changes that need to be made. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kendai Report post Posted January 17, 2006 I have a general question about my subplot of the RP, where my character turns out to be controlled by Mortos's priest (described later in the RP). Does that follow with the storyline? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Derin Report post Posted January 17, 2006 I have a general question about my subplot of the RP, where my character turns out to be controlled by Mortos's priest (described later in the RP). Does that follow with the storyline? Yes it could fit the storyline. Mortos is the god of Evil after all. Personally i do not have a problem with character backgrounds being included as i see them as mostly being relevent to the story (as, what i think made this rp so succesful is the fact that there is that much more background, and groundwork), maybe reduce the number of posts covering the same point in time?( i.e,boarding of the ship,) and yes, remove the wholy irellevant things, but if you remove everything excess, you risk removing something tht might not seem like anything important, but that excerpt might actually add somehing that little bit more vivid or extra to the rp. Therefore i think it is essential to proofread this many many times, and not be too hasty in terms of what we dismiss. It is a bit long as it is now. To get a good flow of the story (as in making others than the participants interested in reading the lot) it needs to be shortened for the ingame version. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pennifuin Report post Posted January 17, 2006 oh yes, definetly. Reading through, there is a number of unnescasary posts. Also i do agree taht t needs revision so that it flows right, its clunky at times. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roja Report post Posted January 17, 2006 Ok, so get to work on it then You've got a couple months before the next big update to get it done. Plenty of time Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LadyWolf Report post Posted January 17, 2006 ok me and Brom did the bulk of the proofreading to get it where it is now...I have the next few days off from work, someone tell me what I need to do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Derin Report post Posted January 17, 2006 ok me and Brom did the bulk of the proofreading to get it where it is now...I have the next few days off from work, someone tell me what I need to do. Here is a list of what is needed to be done with the RP: 1. proofreading 2. remove/change non-fantasy names, names with numbers, names with underscores. 3. remove redundant/unfinished entries/participants 4. remove backgrounds and "off-topic" things 5. rewrite what is left to make it flow better, so that it is more one story than 75 different parts. I suggest you work as a team on this. Names that comes to my mind is LadyWolf, Pennifuin and Brom. But you can pick anyone you like of course. When you are finished or near-completion, let us know so we can check it for consistency etc. Good luck! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LadyWolf Report post Posted January 17, 2006 Big job, but I'm up for whatever needs to be done to get it ready for the game Brom, you have my msn hun, get with me to decide what to do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arnieman Report post Posted January 18, 2006 I had started work on this earlier, and if I can find it (not to hard to do, even on my comp I am a packrat ), I'll give you the edits I already collected when I was trying to edit. Another thought, what about writing the story several ways, as in "from the character's perspective"? (Could be reserved to major characters in this, people who did one-off posts or had little impact would out of necessity be omitted.) That could work on shortening the story some - after all, I (Atahn) might record something that someone else didn't, or maybe (for example) Brom caught something I didn't catch, or didn't think important enough to list. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Derin Report post Posted January 18, 2006 I had started work on this earlier, and if I can find it (not to hard to do, even on my comp I am a packrat ), I'll give you the edits I already collected when I was trying to edit. Another thought, what about writing the story several ways, as in "from the character's perspective"? (Could be reserved to major characters in this, people who did one-off posts or had little impact would out of necessity be omitted.) That could work on shortening the story some - after all, I (Atahn) might record something that someone else didn't, or maybe (for example) Brom caught something I didn't catch, or didn't think important enough to list. Join up with LW, brom and Penni and just take it from there. I am sure you can figure something out Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brom Report post Posted January 18, 2006 IM HERE! Hehe, I can help but I cannot lead this project, not enough time. I already worked the story over a lot and it needs a lot more. Tell me how I can help. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kendai Report post Posted January 18, 2006 (edited) I'm willing to help as well, with any editing or summary skills as necessary. Just tell me what to do ^_^ Edit: , I miss the ^_^ smilie... Edited January 18, 2006 by Kendai Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pennifuin Report post Posted January 18, 2006 well...why do we need a co-ordinator, im sure we're all grown up enough to organise between ourselves what has to be done? im very busy too, tutors breathing down my neck, *hey quit it* er, where was i? oh yes, beer. I mean stories...lets see what you done arnieman, and i agree with you about some character posts being more in depth, but they all record diferent perspectives. Originally i saw this as an actual account of what had happened?? surelyit would be better to keep this feel to it. Regarding character backgrounds, i think to some degreee it adds depth and flavour, slap me with a haddock if you think im wrong. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roja Report post Posted January 19, 2006 You can have character backgrounds as long as they're not very long Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brom Report post Posted January 19, 2006 My original idea was to do what I did, (Compile and edit the posts, rearrange them and set it so that it flows well) But then after I planned on re-writing the story from a few point of views. Mainly Brom's (Since I know his the best) Kendai as she was the evil one and One other, either Pennifuin or Dunian, using those people we could describe what was happening around us and form a true story, rather than a conglomerate mess of views from everyone and their dogs!...Excuse me Humkeys. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pennifuin Report post Posted January 23, 2006 My original idea was to do what I did, (Compile and edit the posts, rearrange them and set it so that it flows well) But then after I planned on re-writing the story from a few point of views. Mainly Brom's (Since I know his the best) Kendai as she was the evil one and One other, either Pennifuin or Dunian, using those people we could describe what was happening around us and form a true story, rather than a conglomerate mess of views from everyone and their dogs!...Excuse me Humkeys. well i would be more than happy to lend my name and my story telling abilities Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brom Report post Posted January 24, 2006 Lets go with the re-writing idea then. Placid has given us a wiki, ill PM you the link, and to everyone else who wants to help. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kendai Report post Posted January 25, 2006 PM me then please, since apparently I'm one of the "chosen ones" (I knew playing a baddie would get me somewhere in life! ). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arnieman Report post Posted January 25, 2006 PM me too, if you need my help. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Placid Report post Posted January 25, 2006 FYI, the web server is down atm (no idea why, awesome service ) When I get back from work today, I will put it up immediately. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LadyWolf Report post Posted January 25, 2006 pm meh Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pennifuin Report post Posted January 27, 2006 and me, this Project has gotten off to a poor start!! lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Placid Report post Posted January 28, 2006 http://www.beplacid.com/wiki/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brom Report post Posted January 31, 2006 Ok, Ive started. Jump on and give some input. http://www.beplacid.com/wiki/jsp/Wiki?OceanStrider Share this post Link to post Share on other sites