warmastermage Report post Posted October 29, 2005 (edited) The Legend The legend of the line of warriors states that far back in the past when Glygoc created the race of Orchans he created a line of magnificent warriors. These warriors would have amazing reflexes, super strength, skin of iron, speed of light, and guile of the cleaver beasts, and the ferousity of the chimeras. The legend states that when the next generation is born, the parents of the previous one will die , then the uncle will raise the child and teach it about the ways of battle. The people that raise the warriors are known as the Line of the Protectors of war. The Next Generation The orchan child stood on the ruins of the battle. His village has been attacked by orcs of Mortos. His parents were killed in the battle. He slew some orcs and fled into the mountains with his uncle. They were planning of moving to another place to live. The did move to the prosperous city of whitestone. They had some time fitting in with the people but he managed. Everyday his uncle taught him the ways of combat. He would take the child to the arena and have him go in with only a small stick and fight the fierce gladiators. The child of course won everytime. When ever a sword hit him it bent. When ever a person tried to outsmart him he dodged and attacked. He attacked with great fiercness and gave no mercy. Soon he was named the top gladiator at the age of 12. He then learned even more about combat from his uncle as they moved to the penninsula of grubani and fought the chimeras everday. When he grew up, he joined armies to engage in war. He soon became a general in the army and went off to fight many wars. Where ever he fought, all feared him. (Give me some feedback on this and how to improve it also i will be using this in many of my other war stories this is just an idea that i have but i need more ideas to make more details) Edited October 29, 2005 by warmastermage Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Atreyu Report post Posted October 29, 2005 I really like it, I think that's the only story on here I've ever read all of.. I like it, write more. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brom Report post Posted October 31, 2005 It is a perfect start. But you have more of a story to tell. I can see if in between the lines. I also wanted to interject that, in order to build a dynamic character, he needs to have at least one flaw, and their needs to be a good conflict. Something the character overcomes to merit the fable around him. You have the great makings, I want to see what else you can put into it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
