Mr.Mind Report post Posted September 21, 2005 I'll start off. Please only post if you're posting a joke. What do computers and air conditioners have in common? Neither works when you open windows. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arnieman Report post Posted September 21, 2005 Disk Full. Press F1 to Belch. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mad_Raven Report post Posted September 21, 2005 Once,there was a pub on a high cliff.In it were 3 people drinking.One of them said:"You know,i bet that if i drink 1 more beer,i can fly."And so he did.He drank his beer,went to the cliff and jumped.One split-second before he was gonna hit the ground he just *whoosh* flew right back up to the cliff.So the other guy says:"I bet i can do that too."And he took 5 beers,jumped and,ofcourse,hit the ground and died.The third guy says to the first guy:"Superman,you can be such a jerk when you drink." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warmastermage Report post Posted September 24, 2005 This thread should really go in the funny stuff section. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dunian Report post Posted September 25, 2005 (edited) Three men were shipwrecked on an island. Fortunatly for them, they found a genie who would grant 3 wishes, 1 each day. On the first day, the first man said "I wish i was home" and he was home On the second day, the second man said "I wish i was home." And he was home. On the third day, the third man said. "I'm so lonely, i wish my friends were here." Edited September 25, 2005 by Dunian Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gadai Report post Posted September 25, 2005 How can you tell if a computer technician is an extrovert? He stares at your shoes while he's talking to you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ssjgohan Report post Posted October 6, 2005 hope you can laugh at very stupid jokes lol 2 pizzas in an oven says the first pizza to the second: it sure is hot in here ain't it? on which the second pizza replies: OMG a talking pizza! and for the dutch and belgian people zegt de ene brandweerman tegen de andere brandweerman: het brandt weer man! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caecus Report post Posted October 6, 2005 Sorry, the only joke I know: What did one tampon say to another tampon? Nothing, both are stuck up bitches. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crypt1c Report post Posted October 7, 2005 There are three men stranded on a boat. One finds a lamp with a genie in it. The first man wishes "I wish my IQ increased by 10%" And so it was granted. The second Man wished "I wish my IQ increased by 20%" And it was granted. The third man seeing all this learned from their wishes. "Iwish my IQ increased by 100%!" And so it was granted, and turned into a women. :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cho-yun Report post Posted October 7, 2005 There was a bus accident with alot of fat ugly people on it. unfortunely they all died. When they went to hevean god granted them all 1 wish. so the 1st person said "i wish i was beautiful" and 2nd person asked for the same wish then the last person luaghed. the 3rd, 4th,5th and 6th did the same, but this time the same guy was on the floor luaghing. when everyone asked for the same wish ti got to the guys turn. He calmed down and said "make them all ugly again" This is a story about everybody, somebody, anybody and nobody. There was a job for everybody which anybody could of done. Everybody thought somebody would of done but nobody wanted to. It ended up that somebody got the blame for a job anyone body could of done but nobody thought that somebody would of done but everybody didn't want to. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ssjgohan Report post Posted October 7, 2005 cho-yun that second isn't a joke.... it's a story to make something clear but i don't know how exactly to say it in english and i'm too laz to think about it after my tiring day Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sirdan Report post Posted October 7, 2005 uhh how many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? (highlight text below this for a answer ) 2 but nobody knows how they get in there Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cho-yun Report post Posted October 7, 2005 Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!" ---------------------------------------------------------------- there were 3 nun that does want to be nuns no more so they came up to the priest and told them. "we dont want to be nuns anymore" then the priest say "well you have to commit a sin" so they all left. next day they came up to the priest and told him. The first nun say " I molested a child" Then the priest say "okay you are no longer a nun" and threw some holly water on to her. The second nun says " I kicked a dog today" Then the priest say "you are no longer a nun" and threw some holly water on to her. The third nun came up to the the priest and said " I piss in the holly water". ------------------------------------------------------------- The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Mind Report post Posted October 9, 2005 (edited) . Edited September 19, 2019 by Mr.Mind Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
behindthemask08 Report post Posted October 9, 2005 rofl @ mr. mind Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sparhawk Report post Posted October 9, 2005 http://www.eternal-lands.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=18550 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warmastermage Report post Posted October 16, 2005 Heres a joke There are three guys who hold a throwing contest One throws a golf ball One throws a bowling ball One throws a grenade They walk over Guy#1 sees this guy crying and he says whats the matter? A golfball hit my dog in the head and killed it Guy#2 walks over and sees a woman crying and asks wats the matter? I bowling ball hit my husband in the head Guy#3 walks over and sees a guy laughing and cheering and asks why are you so happy? My annoying neighbors house just blew up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
