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kalhan

A Returners Story

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Don't know if this story will work for the game or not, but here it is. If some changes will help let me know. If it is even good enough to be used in the game. I have not tried to write a story since i was in high school some thirty years ago lol.Anyway i know the punctuation needs work but i know very little about it and would be thankful for any help you could give. Thank you for taking the time to read it.

 

 

 

A Returner's Story

 

I opened my eyes but blinked them closed again. The sun was too bright it was hurting my eyes. I was so confused and afraid. What was happening? Where was I? Opening my eyes again I begin to look around. There were people there staring at me. Pointing and whispering “A returner, she’s a returner.â€I had no idea what they were talking about but I was to learn.

 

I knew nothing about this world I now found myself in, but a kindly man came to my rescue ( I don’t even remember his name now, if he even ever told me.) But he taught me how to harvest, how to hunt and how to find my way around. Then he said he had showed me all he could and giving me some armor and a weapon he sent me on my way. I wandered around some and found there were others like me ( Returners) people who suddenly found themselves here with no memory of where they came from or why they were here. I had no choice but to try to make some kind of a life for myself here and that was what I did. I found I had a talent for making potions and was able to make a living at it. I soon found myself one of the top potion makers in the land and the potions I made were in great demand. But as busy as I was I still often found myself trying to remember how I had come to be here. Without much success I must admit.

 

All was well and I was happy with my life and the new friends that I was making until one day as I sat at Grahm’s Village working on my potions and visiting with my new friends. It was than word came that monsters were invading the land. Many were called upon to fight the enemy but I went to isla prima to use my skills with potions to heal the wounded and dying. Eventually the invasions stopped and life returned to normal, but for some strange reason I was now having terrible headaches. Then one day as I was picking Blue Star Flowers to use in my craft, one of those horrible headaches came on with blinding speed and I fell to the ground. Holding my head and crying out in pain I lay there for I know not how long. When the headache had passed I still lay upon the ground crying but for a whole new reason. My memory had returned and I wished with all that I held dear it had not.

 

I now remembered a land of incredible beauty. A land of sparkling streams and rivers, of wild flowers as far as you could see. Of crops so healthy and lush that hunger were an unknown thing. Of laughing happy children playing and dancing in the warm evening breeze. Of a gentle and loving people who only wanted to live in peace and harmony with nature and other people. And memories of a man so strong and handsome ...........the memories of him and the time we spent together were enough to take my breath away. I remembered that in this other life I had been a potion maker also. I had spent my days gathering ingredients for my potions or making them while this strong and handsome man, my husband spent his working the land. At night we would lay in each others arms and would talk of the life we would build together. And being young and foolish I believed it would never end, but it did all too soon.

 

One summer’s evening as I walked hand in hand with my love though a meadow, with the smells of wild flowers and freshly cut hay floating on the warm breeze. I heard a sound that seem to freeze my heart. A sound I had never heard before and hope never to hear again. My love whispered “Run and do not stop. It is chimeran wolves we must warn the town.†But before I could take a single step, from across the near by river came the monstrous war cries of goblins. Than on the far side of the meadow, we saw the hideous forms of male orcs. So frighten was I, that I was unable to move and would surely have just stood there as these monsters killed me, if it had not been for my love, who pulled me along as he ran. Finally gathering my senses to me, I began to run on my own. We ran into the center of town yelling out our warning, but it was all in vain. The town was already over run with skeletons.

Many died in their beds the warning coming too late. Others fought valiantly, but there was no hope for our brave men and women the numbers of the enemies were just too great. The sparkling rivers and streams of our fair land ran red that night with the blood of the innocent. The vile creatures showed no mercy for man, woman or child all died at their hands. My beloved was cut down as he tried to protect a mother with two small children. Turning away from this horrendous sight, it was then that I saw the chimeran wolf that had been racing toward me. There was no time to react at all, it hit me full in the chest with all it’s weight knocking me to ground. With the breath knocked from my lungs I could not even scream at the searing pain of its ripping my flesh..Mercifully this was the last that I remembered till I opened my eyes in this world with no memory of whom I was.

I have my memory back now and I must live with it, but it is not easy these memories haunt me day and night. I some times return to that fair land, to South Kiliran Fields. It is nothing like the land I remember. Today Carmien Manor and village are in ruins and I wander through these ruins of another life and time. I weep for the dear friends and family whose remains still lie there But I have hope that I will see them again I find myself on isla prima a lot now days. Searching the faces of the people there. Searching for faces from long ago and for that one face, the face I hold most dear. For I reason that if I have returned than maybe he will too. Or perhaps he already has and he like so many others has no memory of that other life and what we had and now have lost. I would tell you his name, beg you to tell me if you have seen him.............but strangely the only thing I do not remember is his name I remember his face, his smell, his laugh everything but his name.

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I think this is a good story, and if you'd like to see it in a book in-game, I have a couple of suggestions:

check out A Letter To Lasun Tyrnlight if you haven't already, I think your story will work well at explaining another angle of the same tale

also, to be a book and fit well, you may need to edit it a little, perhaps making it a journal or something, so that it would be natural for someone finding a book to read.

 

I don't see any problems with consistency, and proofreading can wait in case you wish to make any changes

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Well done! I have always loved your work. Im sorry Storylines staff as I have not been keeping up with the Storys. I joined up with the Newbie helpers and have not had much time since then :hehe: I can give it a better spellcheck and grammercheck later. but I only caught this when I was brushing through.

 

I do not remember is his name I remember his face, his smell, his laugh everything but his name.

I do not remember is his name I remember his face, his smell, his laugh, everything but his name.

I felt a pause was needed there, but as always that is up to you.

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Glad to see you are back, Brom! No need to appologize, we all get busy...any help you are willing to give is always welcome.

 

I really must say that this is a great piece of work. I am going to assume that it is before the great war, thus the narrative's love did not return. If it is different, please let me know. I'm more than willing to rewrite around this! I was planning on expanding and changing mine anyway.

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Since Quintius' piece was wrote first i would be more then happy to rewrite mine to fit with the event in his story and as i said any help you guys can give me I would be thankful for.

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Since Quintius' piece was wrote first i would be more then happy to rewrite mine to fit with the event in his story and as i said any help you guys can give me I would be thankful for.

182092[/snapback]

actually, if he was going to rewrite his, you two should get together and have a chat about it and tell the same story from different sides. you can get the best continiuity that way

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Quinticus if you could pm me on forum and let me know about changes you wish to make in your story that would be great. Then I could rewrite mine to fit in with yours. Thank you

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