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Mister_Q

The Creature Who Wanders Around White Stone

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this is for the storyline-contest, before you all have comments on it--> I know it is Lame :P

 

the creature of white stone

 

I’m walking through white stone

On my bare feet

This is the land where so many people meet

I know I’m not alone

 

What is that smell

It smells like something from a well

This creature in my sight

Is that the thing who roams the night

 

Suddenly the creature sprung up in the sky

This is hard to believe but this isn’t a lie

I grabbed my almighty sword

And attacked

After a fierce battle the thing collapsed

 

The moon revealed itself from behind the clouds

And the sight opened my mouth

Did I really defeat the gargoyle with only my sword

Has it really gone this fast

It has to be, because I gave the king my word

Now the land is save again and the newbs will last

 

The end

Edited by Spruit

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Excellent work! I could not do better :D but if you want advice, Ill give you what I see. Its clean, no spelling errors I found, with the exception of capitalization, you may want to consider capitalizing your title. but that is up to you. :blink:

 

Also, the line in the second to last stanza, its fine how it is, but you might want to add a little more because it disrupts the flow (just what I see)

 

And attacked

And with a great force, attacked

 

Something along those lines.

 

this is for the storyline-contest, before you all have comments on it--> I know it is Lame

Dont belittle your work, I enjoyed it.

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it's been converted and will be added to the list shortly. if you have any changes to make, contact quinticus or myself before 1.0.2

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