Derin Report post Posted May 18, 2005 (edited) These are excerpts from the doctrine of the Church of the Overdeity, known as the Brotherhood of Bane. What went before... Before time, before matter, before energy, the great gods of chaos ruled the vast masses of pure oblivion. And there was nothing until... something stirred in the unseen edges. Out of the roars of the chaos gods a thought was born. That thought planted itself, with uttermost care, in the minds of the gods. From that thought... matter, energy and time was born and planted into the endless plains of nothingness. There it waited. In eternity lies the bringer of all. In eternity it all shall fall. In eternity – hear the primal call. What came... The Lands formed around that thought, fed by its promise of a new world. The chaos gods slowly turned their eyes to the Lands, and so the first Cataclysmic War began - the Creation War. The one thought was ever-present and it evolved with the tide of events. The Chaos gods were without thoughts and when the first thought erupted in the minds of the Chaos gods they were no longer free. The chaos gods were infused into the lands for all eternity, so was the birth of the Eternal Lands. Thus ending the Creation War. The primal echo roared the night. The Chaos begun their flight. All was trapped by the thought of might. The Eternal lands saw beings develop out of the first thought and the chaos of the gods. So came man, elf, dwarf and beast to ravage the Eternal Lands. What was... Out of chaos came order and the first thought was split into good and evil, so the second Cataclysmic War began - the Great War. In the Great War new empires saw their dawn, but there were also a seed of chaos emerging. Finally chaos erupted by the hand of Bane. Bane is greatest of all gods, the first god, the primal god - the creator of all. Bane saw the evil seed in the Eternal Lands grow stronger and stronger and out of that vision he saw what had to be done - evil had to be eradicated from the Eternal Lands. So the great bane of all evil formed a shimmering wave that swept across the continents, wiping the memories of all sentient beings. The war was a howling hound. Chaos to the thought was bound. The Land deprived of sound. Then he entrusted upon Aluwen to Awaken the sentient of the Eternal Lands, hoping that they would escape the curse of Mortos. Aluwen followed the biddings of the primal god, hoping that the new memories would tear the souls away from the dark curse that had fallen upon the dwellers of the lands. So came the returners to the Eternal Lands. Then they learned the true purpose of the curse of Mortos... What is... As a final act, the great god Bane infused some of his powers into the men that were to be the Divine Rulers of the Brotherhood of Bane. The Divine Rulers began their quest to bring goodness to the Eternal lands. The path of Light, the road to salvation, the breaking of the curse was their to find. They knew, in their minds, that only the complete vanquishing of all evilness would ever bring Bane back to the Eternal lands.. We wait, we uphold your decree. Make eternity to us free. The Path of light will return to thee. Edited August 31, 2005 by Derin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Quinticus Report post Posted May 18, 2005 This is another one i would like to enter, but it doesn't quite meet the requirements. I count 20 lines including the print in italics. 10 more would get it into the contest. Thanks! Great work on both! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Derin Report post Posted May 18, 2005 More of the truescrolls are revealed by the holders of the sacred path. I hope this will meet the requirements. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Derin Report post Posted June 9, 2005 Comments: I like it with the exception of a few things: I think the name Bane doens't sound too god-ish Maybe that's just me... Also, "Brotherhood" I assume this is referring to all the good gods? If so that word doesn't fit either, as it refers to all males, and Aluwen is a female. "The Great War" wasn't the beginning to evil in the world, unless you speak of a different great war than we already have?(written by Tumaros)? A few comments/clarifications: The God in qurestion is the overdeity, but he is known as the Bane of all Evil to this church of the overdeity. Others, may, or may not have different names for the overdeity. This strictly monastic order of the overdeity is known as the Brotherhood of Bane (a guild in Eternal Lands). The brotherhood does not encompass all deities. Their only concern is to find the path of Light which will make the overdeity, once again, return to Draia to set things right. The ultimate goal is to see the day when the overdeity truly creates a paradise in Eternal Lands, free from good and evil. A paradise where only happiness exists. The great war (Tumaros) wasn't the beginning of evil in the world, but it had a great influence on the world as we know it today. And it did have a major impact on the divine fabric that was supposed to lead to happiness and joy on Draia. So in that sense, the Brotherhood of Bane believes that the overdeity did the right thing by wiping the memories from all sentient beings in the world. And, as the overdeity cannot act by him/it/her-self, it fell upon Aluwen to Awaken the so called returners. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roja Report post Posted June 9, 2005 Ah ok..that makes more sense now, thanks Edit: But maybe you should clarify those things in the actual story? Since I did get confused others might too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Derin Report post Posted June 9, 2005 I will clarify that in the original story. The initial problem was/is that the truescrolls are written as a poem in a strange and less-known format. So the translation may not come out as the original writer(s?) intended. Derin A humble servant of the divine overdeity Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ttlanhil Report post Posted July 18, 2005 only one change: "The Lands formed around that thought, feed by" feed -> fed I've left the sometimes odd grammar and such, since that seems generally intended converted, will be added to the list shortly Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
