Funny Hacker Wanabe Lol

[hiko_seijuro]

i found this when i was surfing the net trying to find sumthing that would plz me, and rid me of boredem

 

im sorry about if there are any foul words in here. i tryed to fix them so they not so bad

 

This is my translation from a german weblog. I tried to continue the misspelling of german words in the english translation:

 

The internet is full of people who say they are semi-professional 1337-Hax0rz. Until now we, the admins of stophiphop.de, thought real hackers were a myth like the weapons of mass destruction in Iraque. On the evening of April 4th something extraordinary happened in our irc-channel #stophiphop:

 

a real evil hip-hopper, annoyed by our objective homepage (which is against hip-hoppers and tells so in a very ironic manner), wanted to show us his hacking skillz.

 

after calling names for some time (without sparing mothers, fathers, pets and other family-members; quote "solche penner opfer satanisten wie euch punks fickt man bei uns jeden tag in der arsch" [such satanic bums like you punks are funked in the ass everyday here]), he threatened to hack one of us. He threatened to hack my computer!

 

{name of the person who did not behave: bitchchecker (aka. dangerous haxxor); name of the person whose computer was going to be hacked: Elch}

 

 

 

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

 

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined

#stopHipHop

 

<bitchchecker> why do you kickk me

 

<bitchchecker> can't you diescuss normally

 

<bitchchecker> answer me

 

<Elch> we haven't kicked you

 

<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker

(~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

 

<bitchchecker> what ping, man

 

<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is alright

 

<bitchchecker> i even got summertime

 

<bitchchecker> you banned me

 

<bitchchecker> admit it you son of a b*t*h

 

<HopperHunter|afk> LOL

 

<HopperHunter|afk> you are soo stupid, summertime^^

 

<bitchchecker> shut up, we GOT SUMMERTIME NOW!!

 

<bitchchecker> since two weeks

 

<bitchchecker> if you start your pc you get a message from windows that summertime is now active

 

<Elch> you sure know your computer

 

<bitchchecker> shut up, i'm going to hack you

 

<Elch> ok, i'm quite. i don't want you to show us how good you are in hacking ^^

 

<bitchchecker> tell me your network number then you are dead!

 

<Elch> ehm, the number is 129.0.0.1

 

<Elch> or was it 127.0.0.1

 

<Elch> yepp, this was it: 127.0.0.1 I'm waiting for the big hack-attack

 

<bitchchecker> in five minutes your harddisk is deleted

 

<Elch> I'm very frightened

 

<bitchchecker> shut up, you are gone soon

 

<bitchchecker> i got a program where i enter your number and you are dead

 

<bitchchecker> say good bye now

 

<Elch> to whom?

 

<bitchchecker> to yourself, man

 

<bitchchecker> buy buy

 

<Elch> I'm trembling before such a blatant Hack0r like you

 

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

 

 

Interlude

what happened: he entered his own ip (localhost) into his mighty hacking program

the attack on my pc was failed. i thought i was safe now but knowing a good hacker would never stop, bitchchecker came back 2 minutes later.

 

 

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined

#stopHipHop

 

<bitchchecker> yo, you are soo lucky my pc crashed, othewise you were gone right now

 

<Metanot> lol

 

<Elch> bitchchecker: try to hack me again... i still got the same IP: 127.0.0.1

 

<bitchchecker> you are soo stupid, dude

 

<bitchchecker> say buy buy now

 

<bitchchecker> buy buy elch

 

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

 

 

Interlude

the situation was tense... would he finally hack my pc after two failed attempts? i waited. nothing happened. i was eased... six minutes later, before starting the next attack. being a hacker who normally would break into important computers, he now knew where he failed at.

 

 

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined

#stopHipHop

 

<bitchchecker> elch you son of a b*t*h

 

<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?

 

<Elch> what's up bitchchecker?

 

<bitchchecker> you got a frie wal

 

<bitchchecker> fire wall

 

<Elch> may be, i don't know so much about pcs

 

<bitchchecker> i'm 26

 

<Metanot> with 26 such a mouth?

 

<Elch> what was the reason you now know I got a Firewall?

 

<Metanot> tststs zatt iz not verry gut my friend

 

<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall sant my turn-off signal back to me

 

<bitchchecker> be a man, turn of that [censored]

 

<Elch> cool, didn't know that was possible.

 

<bitchchecker> thän my virus will destroy your pc, dude

 

<Metanot> are you hacking eachother now?

 

<Elch> yes, bitchchecker tries to hack me

 

<Metanot> yo bitchchecker, if you are a hacker you have to get around a firewall. even i can do that

 

<bitchchecker> yes, dude, i hack Elch, but that pisser got a fire wall

 

<Metanot> what firewall you got?

 

<bitchchecker> like a little girl

 

<Metanot> firewall is standard. as a hacker you have to get around... like a little girl ^^

 

<He> B***h give yourself a jackson and chill out. you let yourself get provocated and give those puperting girls new stuff

 

<bitchchecker> turn off your fire wall, then i send you a virus, you f**ker

 

<Elch> nope

 

<Metanot> yo bitchchecker, why turn off? you turn it off!!!!!!!!!!!

 

<bitchchecker> you are afraid

 

<bitchchecker> i do not want to hack if he is like girl behind fire wall

 

<bitchchecker> elch, turn off your f**king wall!

 

<bitchchecker> my granny surfs with fire wall

 

<bitchchecker> you guys are behaving soo cool and do not turn off your firewall when connecting to the internet

 

 

he calls me a girl and at max his grandma would use a firewall. ok, i know old people are smarter than younger but being called a chicken? to see how good he is i tell him i turned it off without actually doing so. i don't have a firewall, my router does...

 

<Elch> bitchchecker, a colleague just showed me how to turn off the firewall. try again

 

<Metanot> bitchhacker can't hack

 

<Black[TdV]> what a play of wordsl ^^

 

<bitchchecker> word, dude

 

<Elch> bitchchecker: i'm still waiting for your attack

 

<bitchchecker> dude, you want virus

 

<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it will delete your harddisk

 

<Elch> 127.0.0.1

 

<Elch> really easy

 

<bitchchecker> lolololol you are stupid, dude. and gone soon

 

<bitchchecker> are the first files going to be deleted right now?

 

<Elch> mom...

 

<Elch> i'll look

 

 

in panic i start my windows explorer. my heart is beating fast. did i underestimate him?

 

 

 

<bitchchecker> you don't have to save. you can't make it in time, son of a b*t*h

 

<Elch> that's not good

 

<bitchchecker> elch, you moron. your harddrive g: is deleted

 

<Elch> well, can't do anything about it

 

<bitchchecker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone

 

 

true, drives g: and f: are gone. did i have those? doesn't matter, no time to think. i'm afraid but bitchchecker sweetens my pain with a music tipp.

 

<bitchchecker> tupac rules

 

<bitchchecker> elch, you soab, your f: is gone and e: too

 

 

nooo! not e: ! all my games and all the pictures....

 

 

<bitchchecker> and d: is at 45 percent you moron lolololol

 

<bitchchecker> d: is gone

 

<He> keep on going B*t*H

 

 

this guy is a pro. my cd-rom deleted.

meanwhile he gives security tipps how my problem had been solved in the first place.

 

<bitchchecker> elch, dude, you are so stupid. never give your ip in the internet

 

<bitchchecker> i'm already on c: 30 percent

 

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

 

 

too late... it was 20:22 when got the last message from our hacker "bitchchecker". since then he did not message again. last message was somekind of "ping timout", must be because of summertime...

 

supposed to have happened on

eu-IRC-Channel #stophiphop am 4.4.2005 (19.30-20.30 Uhr)

[Korhil]

I'm sure this has been posted here before....

 

In fact I think I read it only yesterday...

[Chance]

even if it was still hilarious

[goatsgomoo]

I'm sure this has been posted here before....

 

In fact I think I read it only yesterday...

161675[/snapback]

I wouldn't be surprised if you did.

Yeah, I posted this, then after a while, somebody else posted a link that didn't work to pretty much the same thing...

Maybe that should be a sticky or something?

[hiko_seijuro]

opps sorry goatsgomoo, i didn't see it, next time i will check if sumthing has been posted before i post,

[Entropy]

God, this was posted on all the forums in the world, and I even heard on it on the radio and such.

Personally I am not really convinced this is true.

[Tanyia]

I guess it's just me...I never laughed at it...heh. Perhaps the stupidity of these people muted my laughter

Edited May 14, 2005 by Tanyia

[projoesback]

seen this a bazillion times

[glass]

It was funny the first time I read it when goatsgomoo posted. Not AS funny the next time.

[hiko_seijuro]

if you read what i said:

 

 

opps sorry goatsgomoo, i didn't see it, next time i will check if sumthing has been posted before i post,

162007[/snapback]

 

so stop saying you have read it before, sheez i made a mistake ok, it about time we close this tread so you can stop saying i have read this before