zoki Report post Posted May 11, 2005 (edited) The attack at Tarsengaard Once opon a time in Tarsengaard the orcs made an alience with goblins and planed an attack at tarsengaard. I whos a young human and desprete for action i whos a fool. There whore many dwarves that retreted to the Vally of the Dwarfs. only humans and some elves standed to fight. i whos between them because i wasn't a couard like some. Then the orcs attacked from the west side and the goblins from the south side. The city whos overrun by them , but we didn't gave up , we fouth and we fouth. We where leading in the battle, but they surprised us with another wave of attack. We lost the battle . We reatreted to Roanof island ,and we prepared for an assault at Tarsengaard to win it back. The orcs didn't know that Roanof island existed so we had an advantage. We gathered many ores and made weapons and assaulted the city of Tarsengaard. The gods must have been with us because we strangely won.But there where casualties, and one of the casualties was our captain. His coffin still stands near the city of Tarsengaard.We where bound to cry on that damned day.And all that beacuse of the dwarves.We seeked revenge.But the captain wodn't want us to attack the dwarves .Beacuse he died in battle, not by their hands.One orc still whos alive.My fellow fighters wanted to kill him.I said: No don't kill him he can be of use.And they asked: How? My answer whos: U will see. Then i gave an order to paint him red. And we let him free. Every step of his whos marked in red on the ground, and he taken us to the orcs lair. We made a plan how to assault their lair. We gathered ur warriors and started the assault on their lair. Again with the help of the gods we won. But even now when im an old man these lands aren't safe. There are still goblins roaming this lands. I still have some strength in my bones and i will fight until Tarsengaard is free... Edited May 12, 2005 by zoki Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ttlanhil Report post Posted May 11, 2005 (edited) There are a few spelling mistakes in there; if you don't have a spell checker on your computer, then you could try using something like spellcheck.net also, if you would like this to be in the contest, you will likely need to make it longer Edited May 11, 2005 by ttlanhil Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Quinticus Report post Posted May 11, 2005 Yes i count 15 sentences. 30 is needed. If you need help with this, let me know and i'll be glad to lend a hand. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brom Report post Posted May 11, 2005 (edited) I like it the spellchecker is a good idea, if you need help with that, get a hold of one of us but here are a few most spellcheckers will not catch or have a good anwser for. elfs > elves dwarfs > dwarves whore > where But there whore casulties and between one of them whos our captain and his coffin still stays in the outdoors of Tarsengaard... in the outdoors Just does not sound right does it, I mean if it is outdoors, how can it be in. But there where casualties, and one of the casualties was our captain. His coffin still stands [someplace in Tarsengaard]. Hope I helped. Good luck I cant wait to see the final product. Edited May 11, 2005 by EWQ222 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zoki Report post Posted May 12, 2005 Is that better? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Quinticus Report post Posted May 13, 2005 I count 34 lines and can accept the story now for the contest. Thank you for your effort on making it acceptable. You have until May 25 to edit the story as you see fit. At that point it will be judged as is. Thanks again for your entry Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
