Zoki

[zoki]

Dream come truth

 

Many, many years ago a young human boy named Aragoth wanted to travel all over Seridia to be a figther, to have a beautyfull wife and to be in a guild full of friends. He grow up with Mrs Lorpak in Isla Prima.But when he and become a strong and tall man , he left her with a promise that he would return. She saw him how he goes to the docks, step by step to make his dream come truth. He got to White Stone in the nigth ,and he remembered of the rumor that gargoyles rumble in the nigth, and he spended his nigth in the LakeSide Inn. The next mourning he went to Grahm's village and talked to Frukas and buyied the book of anatomy and every book of figthing with the money Mrs Lorpak gave him.And he studied and he studied , until he had finished the last of the books .

 

He started making money harvesting Lilacs and selling them to the flower shop . Soon he had the money to buy armor, shield and a good weapon.

then he started killing the animals and sold the raw meat and their furs to the bots of many guilds and he made money. Buyied a Monster Magnetism Cloak. And then he finaly realised that he is ready to slay the many monsters in Seridia. He served the god of attack Mortos. Aragoth did every quest that Mortos asked him to do.

 

Then he saw the tags near the names of the players , and he wished to have a tag himself. The first player he saw Moebird and he whose in the guild LLL ( Lords & Ladies of Legend ) and he asked Moebird :

Can I join LLL?

And he said:

Of course just type #join_guild Lords & and Ladies of Legend

When Aragoth did that he saw that he had a tag like every bodyelse.

and a text in blue appeard, many people he never heard of started saying:

Welcome Aragoth, Welcome.

Then moebird sayd: Aragoth type #gm to say something.

He talkd with them and about his life and where is he from and many other stuff.

 

Aragoth fell in love in a beautiful elf girl. Her name whose Laria, she loved him too but chodn't confess it . So he proposed a marrige to her, and she accepted. the marrige has taken place in the secret place in Isla Prima.One of the guests whos Mrs Lorpak of course.Laria whos gaining experiance from Mrs Lorpak.

 

Aragoth started hunting in Morcaraven Marsh, he killd many monsters and animales, and he whos buying leather for Laria.

 

Aragoth and Laria moved to Isla Prima and lived with Mrs Lorpak.She whos happy that Aragoth's dream came truth.

Edited May 12, 2005 by zoki

[cho-yun]

nice short story

 

i noticed "dream come truth" i don't think it makes sound right

and "chodn't" is spelt worng

 

PS: just things i notice

[Quinticus]

Thank you zoki for participating with Storylines. Your entry is noted.

 

However, please note that it is 30 sentences long (JUST fulfilling the minimum). I would encourage you to use the remaining time (until May 25) to expound upon what you have thus writen. You've done a great job!

[Brom]

Spellchecker once again, but here are a few Spellcheckers wont catch just in case. Well, they might. tenses.

 

beautyfull > beautiful

He grow up > He grew up

he will return > he would return

 

step by step to make his dream come truth

step by step to make his dream become truth

or

step by step to make his dream come true (which I like more)

 

thill he read the last of the books .

until he had finished the last of the books.

 

Once again, excellent work. spellcheck and keep up the good work.

[zoki]

Dream come truth

 

Many, many years ago a young human boy named Aragoth wanted to travel all over Seridia to be a fighter, to have a beautiful wife and to be in a guild full of friends. He grow up with Mrs Lorpak in Isla Prima.But when he and become a strong and tall man , he left her with a promise that he would return. She saw him how he goes to the docks, step by step to make his dream come truth. He got to White Stone in the night ,and he remembered of the rumor that gargoyles rumble in the night, and he spended his night in the Lake Side Inn. The next mourning he went to Grahm's village and talked to Frukas and buyied the book of anatomy and every book of fighting with the money Mrs Lorpak gave him.And he studied and he studied , until he had finished the last of the books .

 

He started making money harvesting Lilacs and selling them to the flower shop . Soon he had the money to buy armor, shield and a good weapon.

then he started killing the animals and sold the raw meat and their furs to the bots of many guilds and he made money. Buyied a Monster Magnetism Cloak. And then he finally realized that he is ready to slay the many monsters in Seridia. He served the god of attack Mortos. Aragoth did every quest that Mortos asked him to do.

 

Then he saw the tags near the names of the players , and he wished to have a tag himself. The first player he saw Moebird and he whose in the guild LLL ( Lords & Ladies of Legend ) and he asked Moebird :

Can I join LLL?

And he said:

Of course just type #join_guild Lords & and Ladies of Legend

When Aragoth did that he saw that he had a tag like every bodyelse.

and a text in blue appeared, many people he never heard of started saying:

Welcome Aragoth, Welcome.

Then moebird said: Aragoth type #gm to say something.

He talked with them and about his life and where is he from and many other stuff.

 

Aragoth fell in love in a beautiful elf girl. Her name whose Laria, she loved him too but chodn't confess it . So he proposed a marriage to her, and she accepted. the marriage has taken place in the secret place in Isla Prima.One of the guests whos Mrs Lorpak of course.Laria whos gaining experience from Mrs Lorpak.

 

Aragoth started hunting in Morcaraven Marsh, he killed many monsters and animals, and he whos buying leather for Laria.

 

Aragoth and Laria moved to Isla Prima and lived with Mrs Lorpak.She whos happy that Aragoth's dream came truth.

[zoki]

Is that better?

[Brom]

Better, watch your tenses and check everything I mentioned. grow should be grew. spended should be spent it is better